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9/15/2018 c5 132signelchan
Oh look, here I am reviewing this once more to try and spur you into writing more and updating it. Because yes, please, you need to continue this fic and get it to a satisfying conclusion and not leave me on this chapter, damn it.

Anyway, where to start? Oh right, Panne and Lissa have a big talk about a certain someone who’s come to join them all, and at the same time, Virion and Yarne are having a similarly-themed but incredibly different talk. A talk that, for the first time in this whole fic, makes me actually feel Bad for Virion. He’s been painted as the horrible, no-good, deserves to rot bad guy from the whole “leaving” thing, but he really actually had a decent reason to leave and wasn’t just being a dick about it all. Dude was actually emotionally compromised about everything bad that had happened as well, which was…refreshing to learn.

Not like it matters because he’s bearing his heart to Yarne, and Yarne isn’t exactly the most reliable set of ears to be speaking to (even if they’re some of the largest). But then Yarne gets wrapped up in a fight-slash-conversation with his dear mother and she starts grilling him about everything that he doesn’t actually know. Poor kid’s got two dysfunctional parents and he’s been chucked back through time right into the middle of their drama. Oh, but, maybe Yarne isn’t as useless and hopeless as everyone likes to think he is, because he’s basically been playing his mother by speaking with his father, and once he can let her know that he’s been doing that everything kind of explodes and goes worse than it honestly ever should have.

Which that on its own would make for a LOVELY ending to the story, with no resolution or satisfaction but knowing that the most functional member of the family is the future kid who may or may not be dead in the present timeline. But no, you decide you’re going to be an asshat and go further, and not only have Yarne get attacked within an inch of his life but have Panne and Virion come to some kind of…closure of sorts on what’s been going on (over trying to save their future kid’s life, no less). And then, as if that wouldn’t have been a good ending there, you take it /even further/ and potentially kill Panne as well, under the explanation of “she was trying to save her not-son and her ex-dead!baby daddy”, which is the single most confusing thing I think I’ve ever had to put into words in one of these reviews.

And here I was thinking that the drama in Forum Emblem involving bunnies and baby daddies was bad enough.

Update this fic before we’re old and gray, you jerk.

Signel
4/6/2018 c5 46GreenPokeGuy
joos that's cruel

I'm glad that Virion's trying to make up for what he did, and that Yarne is also trying to help them reconcile. Panne's stubborn, though, so it ain't easy.

Hopefully co-operation in a life-or-death situation will help things along. :P

-Green
3/29/2018 c4 132signelchan
Call this a bargaining chip in order to motivate you into updating again (I know you’ve been working on it), but I figured it was probably high time I actually reviewed this chapter in anticipation for what comes next. One quick skimthrough later and I’m regretting my decision because hot /damn/ this chapter hurts about as much as you’d expect it to, being written by someone who really knows how to make their words have an impact.

There is something admirable in the way you have taken this impossible-in-canon event and make it flow seamlessly into the actual canon, to the point where you have made the ho-hum canon existence of Yarne into this Really Big Emotional Deal that everyone has to deal with. Bonus points for borrowing actual setting and whatnot from canon to drive the point home, and even more points for making the big reveal happen somewhere that wasn’t, like, the middle of a battlefield where you’ve angered both armies and are fighting for your life against both forces. That’d just be unnecessary drama thrown into the story where everything’s already pretty realistically dramatic.

Er, as realistically dramatic as it can get when you’re dealing with rabbit people, I suppose.

Anyway, you throw a lot of references and little facts into this chapter and your dedication to your craft shows, and I hope the fact that it’s been like nine months since your last update doesn’t mean that the next chapter is going to be missing the heart that you’ve put into this and all previous chapters. I understand that writing’s a challenge and a struggle, and you’re working with a lot of Powerful elements, but I believe in you and your ability to get this done and let us know what’s going to happen next. I mean, I doubt you’re going to neglect us of the opportunity to see Virion have his face ripped off, or allow for him to get to try and fix things with Panne again.

…damn it I really hope it’s the first option, he deserves to be punished so, so much for all the heartache and suffering he’s caused her, even if it hasn’t all been his fault. He’s the one who abandoned her in her time of need, he needs to pay dearly for it. Getting to meet his future child of some sort isn’t the right kind of payment and he doesn’t deserve to benefit from Yarne appearing in front of the army.

Anyway, you’re a fantastic writer and you’re doing great, never forget that!

Signel
6/21/2017 c3 signelchan
As this is a short chapter, I don’t know how long my review will manage to get, but we’ll see how it goes as this chapter happens to make great use of its minimal words. Of course Lissa runs her mouth in a way she shouldn’t have, but naturally Panne (who is by far a shell of herself at this point) won’t say a word—and lo and behold what Lissa says comes true, somehow. Of course by this time Panne’s growing back to her old ways, which is Not A Good Thing to have happening. Especially not when you jump right back to canon’s events and have the Shepherds all join back up.

And why is this Not A Good Thing? Well, because Virion, the town-skipping bastard that he is, is part of the reason why the whole gang’s getting back together. Er, really, he’s a huge part of it, and that’s where the meat of this chapter is located, in Panne not knowing that he’s back and no one wanting to tell her, and then her finding out that he’s back and losing her goddamn mind over it. But before we get to that, we get to meet Cherche (bless her fucking soul, tbh), we get to learn that future kids are Also Not A Good Thing, and we get to play with that there a bit because of someone (coughcoughOLIVIA) asking Panne about babies and names and Panne has a bit of a breakdown over it.

But why should we dwell on any of that when there’s a lovely and horrible interaction brewing between Panne and Virion? Naturally when she sees him she has murder and rage fill her and he’s honestly lucky to come out of everything alive. This does not change, even with a second, mediated interaction that comes to end the chapter, and that might just be for the best. For now. We have no idea how their future’s going to be changed given what’s happened to them, and now it’s time to sit back and watch the shitshow unfold further.

Not saying the fic’s bad, mind you. I’m just saying that the events for the characters are quickly spiraling downward into a mess that nothing’s going to fix, and I do mean nothing.

Signel
6/13/2017 c2 signelchan
Here I was, thinking that I would be very ready for reading this chapter when you posted it literal minutes after I reviewed the first chapter. I thought I had you and your game all figured out, and I was ready to revel in the adorable babyfic that you were writing for me. And then I read the chapter and was filled with nothing but horrible feelings of “oh damn it I thought things were going to be fun and now everything hurts”. You, sir, have an impeccable way of killing off babies without making it a dramatic and over-the-top affair, and this story is just another notch in that belt.

You spend so much time and effort in this chapter (in the earlier parts) playing up how their relationship has blossomed around the growing and unborn child that they share between them, about how it is this child that is the bond they share between them, and then you rip that from their hands like it was never there. They grow as people in the time leading up to their impending parenthood, and then that parenthood never comes. They get to prepare to live their lives together raising this being they did not ask for, and then that being comes into the world exactly as they’d hoped it would have been before they achieved all their growth: dead and cold, meant for nothing more than a plot in the ground.

And with the child’s death comes the sobering reality that these two weren’t meant for anything beyond the occasional conversation and hook-up. They weren’t ever really together due to anything but fate, and fate has a way of knocking things askew at any given moment—and you made it overwhelmingly clear in the last third of the chapter that what little they had in terms of a relationship is destroyed when the child has no life to him. You make this all feel real, even though this is about fictional characters. Panne’s sadness and anger and mixed emotions about everything are tangible, as is Virion’s reluctance and joy and then his complete disappearance that sends even more wildly powerful emotions through Panne’s body. Everything here feels like it’s actually happened, like these are real people whose story has been recounted.

She should get the chance to rip into him and make him pay for what he’s done.

But more importantly, thanks to the game’s canon, they both have something much more important and heartbreaking to face. And I’m curious and excited to see how you address the future children thing, given that you killed their present child before he had a chance to live.

Signel
4/29/2017 c1 signelchan
The process of thinking about this fic manages to make me want to kick my feet and roll around on the ground for a few minutes, a power this story has had over me since the first time you sent me an in-progress version of this chapter. There’s something powerful about how you write fics in general, but there is something MORE powerful about how you write babyfic, and yeah that means that your stories tend to get me more excited than the average fic ever can. It’s partially because I know that, whatever it is you’ve written, it’s going to be well-put and decently characterized and worth my time; it’s also because you, unlike a lot of authors that try, really know your stuff when you start writing babyfic (which is why I’m sure a lot of people don’t write it).

That’s not really anything about the meat of the text in this chapter, but that’s a good starting point for this review, I suppose. I’m not the greatest at expressing these thoughts out loud—as I’m sure you’ve realized with how much I just scream and squeal when I talk about this fic with you—but this review format gives me just enough space to tell you my genuine thoughts while also parsing out and commenting on the chapter itself. And now that I’ve done all this rambling about outside thoughts and the like, I suppose it’s time to get to the chapter itself.

We start out with setting up the overall plot through an interaction that, if it were any other two characters, would be treading on the “out of character” side of the characterization line. It’s only with Panne, and only with Virion, that we can find this exact topic of conversation and have it make complete sense. Of /course/ Virion would stretch the truth of what he’s been through in order to gain Panne’s trust, it’s just in his blood to do so. And of course Panne would let her guard down just enough around someone who paints their backstory to mesh up with her own, because she needs that sort of companionship in her life. (I am well aware there’s the scene with Maribelle and Lissa that technically precedes this conversation, it’s a good scene but its sole purpose is to set the stage for Panne and Virion talking and ultimately getting into their mess.) Sure, maybe her taking him for an explicit moment of passion is a bit far-fetched to make plausible, but she was weak and she needed something to take the pain away, and he was open to her, what else was she going to do?

To put it bluntly, she’s going to make him into her casual fuck buddy. And in that decision lies what sets this fic into motion. Naturally, their sleeping together results in an unintended pregnancy, and sorry but Panne is NOT exactly in the best place to be having to deal with that, on her own. Of course, that means she needs to go track Virion down and (murder him) let him know what’s going on with her, because she clearly did no wrong in begging him to sleep with her on at least two occasions. He at least makes the valiant effort to set things right by marrying her, but she’s not going to have that, which is totally understandable because, hello, they seriously weren’t anything more than bedmates on a few nights, there’s no reason for them to get married from a romantic standpoint. From the standpoint of them having a ticking time bomb of [x] baby/ies in that womb, though...

Okay, but seriously, there’s no reason for them to be together because they don’t really know each other, and it’s beautiful that you make sure to not shoehorn them together just because of their mistake. They start to live together, and that’s perfectly fine given their circumstances, but now Virion is having to deal with Panne’s quickly-changing crazy ass on the regular, which would suck for him but be hilarious to be witness to. Man I love seeing characters have to handle people’s mood swings. But there’s something about Virion that makes watching all this so much better—that being that he has two primary desires in life. One, to get laid. Two, to be the most Noblest Noble there is. And with Panne, she gave him one and basically made him lose all chance of two unless…well, unless she marries him and rights their wrong. Which she won’t do (hopefully).

The last little interaction of the chapter, where she’s without armor and he’s putting up with her like he needs to is adorable, but what follows it is easily one of the best non-cliffhanger endings to a chapter I have ever had the pleasure of reading. You write them in a moment of warmth and weakness, not unlike what got them into the situation to begin with, but it’s done so tenderly that you can’t help but wonder how the hell it’s going to be destroyed when the second chapter starts.

That being said, please update soon and hopefully have some baby/ies in it, because you’re just getting started on flexing your babyfic-writing muscles with this chapter and I know you’re going to shatter all expectations with whatever follows!

Signel
4/29/2017 c1 43lon'quesadilla
So sorry for not getting around to reading this sooner; I regret that because this is turning out to be the start of what looks like a great fic! It was really sweet at the beginning that Panne went to try to comfort Lissa about Emm’s death (*enter falling joke here/obligatory D: *, sorry) and then a surprise when, of all people, Virion was the one to tell her so. I’d never even considered them as a pairing, and yet it makes sense and sounds like an interesting dynamic! And even moreso with the added addition of a child on the way. The last scene in particular was very sweet, and hopefully despite her words, it’s something that he can get used to, if only for the comfort of the two of them. I’m excited for and can’t wait to see where this goes! :D
4/18/2017 c1 Guest
I honestly wasn't expecting to enjoy this as much as I did. I do hope you continue.

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