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6/29/2022 c1 Guest
Good I enjoyed I want more chapters write the next chapter fast i am very excited
Thank you
5/26/2022 c1 Allister
Short but great story :D
12/17/2019 c1 UniqueAccountName
Vegeta stomps the whole verse without even using a percent of his base power lmao.
12/8/2018 c1 4Hypnoyoukai
Will this chapter get a sequel ? Find out never osm
8/15/2018 c1 youre
pls continue fast!
7/15/2018 c1 anon
Read the doujinshi.
5/17/2018 c1 P
You kidding, right?
Tatsumaki would DESTROY base Vegeta.
4/15/2018 c1 Reader
Please continue it's really interesting before June it will be trending please don't stop
10/18/2017 c1 Guest
The You 7777to have any other ideas
7/18/2017 c1 9Nancho The Supreme
Well, this was an interesting... "story" to read for sure. My only problem is that it basically caters to Dragon Ball Super exclusively.

The grammar used in this story needs a lot of improvement. There needs to be 5-7 sentences in a paragraph and about 8 or more words in a sentence. The wording of certain things should also be worked on. Here is an example:


The part before she speaks and after she speaks needs to be combined before she speaks. Secondly, use periods to signal the end of a sentence. You seem to forget this sometimes when someone is going to talk. Thirdly, don't put dialogue from two different people into the same paragraph. It confuses and looks messy to readers.


The plot and McGuffins are stupid and, if one would look at it, you can tell so too.

Vegeta left Universe 7 for what plausible reason? The author intends for us to believe it's an underlying resentment for how Goku is always superior to him. Then at the very end of the chapter, Vegeta claims he came there looking for some one to challenge him. Goku is more than a challenge for him, as is Beerus and Whis. Perhaps more important than that is that he left Bulma and Trunks behind for a *chance* at a decent fight when there are plenty of good fights in Universe 7 already? This is what is known as a plot hole, something that contradicts its self.

Now we move onto Vegeta's performance in the story and his own claims. Vegeta would never need a 20% of his maximum power to defeat any one beneath Saitama in One Punch Man's universe. Saitama keeps his plot armor in his own universe but none of the others have that plot armor, so there is no excuse for why someone with the power to destroy multiple galaxies would needs star destroying power to obliterate the monster-let alone Super Saiyen form.

I found Vegeta's witty banter to be mostly in character. Vegeta seemed to brag too much about being the Prince of Saiyens and lost his cool really quickly-which is uncool.

This could use a good rewrite in my opinion, perhaps that'll make the story shine. As it stands, it feels unfinished right now...
7/6/2017 c1 francisman90
I am both a fan of OPM and DBS/DBZ, and I am glad that you decided to write your small story. I enjoyed what I read, and if hope to encourage you to write more. Thanks, Peace Out.
6/13/2017 c1 Slayer
Hey guuess what, that guest guy was probably some low life who couldent help but try to dissuade good writers like your self from writing. I also bet it was the same person for the three hate comments left by the guest.
6/13/2017 c1 Slayer
This seems like a great story. I hope you update it soon.
5/22/2017 c1 Guest
This is shit, SHITTTTTTTT!
5/17/2017 c1 1Aceshot797
Are you going to finish this? Because I really want to read it...
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