for Trainer12/8 c33 ElementTwisterZ
Amazing chapter. I just caught up on the story ans this chapter is probably mu favourite so far. The Ash and Frank fight with Elite was great and it’s nice to see Ash earn respect from ACE trainers and gain a win against Team Rocket (ignoring that Gideon escaped).
Amazing chapter. I just caught up on the story ans this chapter is probably mu favourite so far. The Ash and Frank fight with Elite was great and it’s nice to see Ash earn respect from ACE trainers and gain a win against Team Rocket (ignoring that Gideon escaped).
9/30 c1 LadyDoragon
How do you order pokemon's moves named by a Pokedex? Squirtle's Water Gun, Withdraw, Mirror Coat and Aqua Ring as well as Abra's Teleport and Barrier seem to have their Egg moves at the end while Charmander's Ancient Power, Dragon Dance, Ember and Smokescreen as well as Bulbasaur's Power Whip, Leaf Storm, Vine Whip and Tackle very clearly have Egg moves at the beginning. I really do dislike messy moveset orders. Especially those that have new moves randomly arranged make it quite difficult to notice changes to them.
IntTraNet is rather difficult on the tongue. Why that and not InTraNet?
"Be careful of the Spearow on Route One, but they won't attack unless there's a Fearow leading them. In that case, put up a message on ." There's a word missing here and I'm a bit curious about it.
I sure hope that Gary and Ash didn't battle in the lab but then again there was absolutely no mention of them going outside so…
Now I'm wondering how exactly such a number of authors believe that Pokégear is a watch when in canon it's not.
It appears you just forget to write some things like Natalie and Jack splitting from Ash. It's only mentioned that they weren't with him when they came returned.
And now Saur suddenly knows Magical Leaf in the battle against Natu when it wasn't mentioned at all by Ash's Pokedex earlier so one of those needs to be corrected and which one depends on which is used throughout the rest of the story.
That would be all I noticed before a different story caught my attention. I will post this now and maybe someday get back around to this story.
How do you order pokemon's moves named by a Pokedex? Squirtle's Water Gun, Withdraw, Mirror Coat and Aqua Ring as well as Abra's Teleport and Barrier seem to have their Egg moves at the end while Charmander's Ancient Power, Dragon Dance, Ember and Smokescreen as well as Bulbasaur's Power Whip, Leaf Storm, Vine Whip and Tackle very clearly have Egg moves at the beginning. I really do dislike messy moveset orders. Especially those that have new moves randomly arranged make it quite difficult to notice changes to them.
IntTraNet is rather difficult on the tongue. Why that and not InTraNet?
"Be careful of the Spearow on Route One, but they won't attack unless there's a Fearow leading them. In that case, put up a message on ." There's a word missing here and I'm a bit curious about it.
I sure hope that Gary and Ash didn't battle in the lab but then again there was absolutely no mention of them going outside so…
Now I'm wondering how exactly such a number of authors believe that Pokégear is a watch when in canon it's not.
It appears you just forget to write some things like Natalie and Jack splitting from Ash. It's only mentioned that they weren't with him when they came returned.
And now Saur suddenly knows Magical Leaf in the battle against Natu when it wasn't mentioned at all by Ash's Pokedex earlier so one of those needs to be corrected and which one depends on which is used throughout the rest of the story.
That would be all I noticed before a different story caught my attention. I will post this now and maybe someday get back around to this story.
9/29 c10 Guest
Ash should later get a new loyal Fairy-Type who is a fighter, not a performer. In favor of Ash catching a Morgrem that will evolve into Grimmsnarl.
Ash should later get a new loyal Fairy-Type who is a fighter, not a performer. In favor of Ash catching a Morgrem that will evolve into Grimmsnarl.
9/13 c33 
1Uber Ghidorah
I know it's not going to happen, but after Gideon left his Pokemon and I realized what it was, I thought that Ash should get the Archeops, for a Rock type, Fossil Pokemon and the fact it's not used in stories very much from what I've read.
As for possible new Pokemon in the future, I would say a Comfey for the fairy type, as Ash and his team need a healer ASAP. And I think a fossil Pokemon would be a good challenge for Ash, acclimatizing it to modern day.
1Uber GhidorahI know it's not going to happen, but after Gideon left his Pokemon and I realized what it was, I thought that Ash should get the Archeops, for a Rock type, Fossil Pokemon and the fact it's not used in stories very much from what I've read.
As for possible new Pokemon in the future, I would say a Comfey for the fairy type, as Ash and his team need a healer ASAP. And I think a fossil Pokemon would be a good challenge for Ash, acclimatizing it to modern day.
8/30 c2 GBLplays
In fact, Apollo is indeed the God of the Sun, and so is Helios, the difference between the two is simply that, while Apollo is a Greater God (An Olympian God), Helios is considered a Lesser God!
But, even so, I liked the name Zeus, despite being slightly cliche (RaiosZeus), it is well placed and matches...
In fact, Apollo is indeed the God of the Sun, and so is Helios, the difference between the two is simply that, while Apollo is a Greater God (An Olympian God), Helios is considered a Lesser God!
But, even so, I liked the name Zeus, despite being slightly cliche (RaiosZeus), it is well placed and matches...
8/15 c23 10Blandusername
I think this is the most incompetent ‘competent’ ash I’ve ever seen. You have him constantly training and battling random trainers but he is constantly told how in adequate he is, only lost to blain on his first try but everyone makes sure to tell him they weren’t trying when he wins. Everything Ash does is like “it could be years before…” yet anyone else is getting their shit together quick. This story is several 100k words so far and he is barely at a 5 badge level…
I can’t say I love the team, it’s like you are constantly teasing stronger better Pokémon but refuse Ash to have them. You made him give away a fucking clefary lol. Also why didn’t he catch some sort of pseudo? The only thing close he has is Snorlax and that took forever for a docile mon to even look at him in this story. Idk I really really want to like it but it I really get the feeling Ash is losing the conference in the top 16.
Also team rocket. They literally always win, I get it “you’re building to something” but it’s outlandish that the rockets in this story would ever lose they are way to powerful to lose especially with mewtwo. Ash has literally 0 wins that matter he’s only survived.
At some point ash needs to actually stop being led around the nose, I get it he’s 10 but at this point he’s seen more war and death than most adults and everyone just takes advantage of him when they please. Then Ash forgives them. Idk man this is a strange story.
10BlandusernameI think this is the most incompetent ‘competent’ ash I’ve ever seen. You have him constantly training and battling random trainers but he is constantly told how in adequate he is, only lost to blain on his first try but everyone makes sure to tell him they weren’t trying when he wins. Everything Ash does is like “it could be years before…” yet anyone else is getting their shit together quick. This story is several 100k words so far and he is barely at a 5 badge level…
I can’t say I love the team, it’s like you are constantly teasing stronger better Pokémon but refuse Ash to have them. You made him give away a fucking clefary lol. Also why didn’t he catch some sort of pseudo? The only thing close he has is Snorlax and that took forever for a docile mon to even look at him in this story. Idk I really really want to like it but it I really get the feeling Ash is losing the conference in the top 16.
Also team rocket. They literally always win, I get it “you’re building to something” but it’s outlandish that the rockets in this story would ever lose they are way to powerful to lose especially with mewtwo. Ash has literally 0 wins that matter he’s only survived.
At some point ash needs to actually stop being led around the nose, I get it he’s 10 but at this point he’s seen more war and death than most adults and everyone just takes advantage of him when they please. Then Ash forgives them. Idk man this is a strange story.
8/7 c33 Guest
I like this chapter, thank you for your work and your time have a nice day and stay safe
I like this chapter, thank you for your work and your time have a nice day and stay safe
8/4 c2 Wulin
more oc? dude there are a lot of characters to choose from... tsk. two extras are already eating up the chapter and there will be more and I think they get a really good focus like the two tagalongs. soooooo~ bye. you shouldn't have used ash and made an oc and focused on that.
more oc? dude there are a lot of characters to choose from... tsk. two extras are already eating up the chapter and there will be more and I think they get a really good focus like the two tagalongs. soooooo~ bye. you shouldn't have used ash and made an oc and focused on that.
8/1 c33 Haziq Saffari
Hope your injury gets better. Anyway great chapter, we won't see the last of Gideon. Wonder what's the story between him and Red? Can't wait to find out.
Hope your injury gets better. Anyway great chapter, we won't see the last of Gideon. Wonder what's the story between him and Red? Can't wait to find out.
7/8 c9 ScienceAlienDude
Lmao you are really determined to not give Ash power houses nad give hum underrated pokemon except for infernape and snorlax.
Lmao you are really determined to not give Ash power houses nad give hum underrated pokemon except for infernape and snorlax.
6/14 c32 Speed Reader
This is an absolutely brilliant story. The battles, both human and Pokemon are beautifully brutal, the drama/angst is great, and Ash is in canon characterization just smarter and a little more reckless.
This is an absolutely brilliant story. The battles, both human and Pokemon are beautifully brutal, the drama/angst is great, and Ash is in canon characterization just smarter and a little more reckless.