Just In
for Trainer

8/30/2020 c1 TropesBeDamned
Only real gripe is you giving all three starters ridiculously late game move sets. What’s the point in using strategy or learning the versatility between move sets when MCs starting Pokémon and one shot everything with Leaf-storm and Power-whip? Why learn new moves at all?

At most you could have given the starters egg moves which are already more then strong enough at this stage. Heck even Abra with egg moves could have all of the elemental punches and with teleport at least Oak wouldn’t be seen as setting up his trainers to fail.

Pacing is a thing. Starting off the story with such a massive power wank makes any accomplishments that your MC does seem trivial.

Adding Red and his feats in this story as well makes anything else your MC does get overshadowed by his older brother. It’s not like you can use him as a foil to your character in anyway.

Honestly that OC character Jack with the Abra with no attack moves journey would have been much more interesting to see then your Ash with his Hackmon.
8/9/2020 c22 talesfanjmf
Well this was certainly an action packed chapter.
It really was nice to see Screecher use the very technique developed to against Sabrina in the battle and it certainly was worth the effort. The use of Phantom Force and brief communication with Ash were certainly surprising too. Goes to show that she was the true MVP of this battle.
However Kratos was no slouch either since he really showed strength, skill, and determination in all the battles he was in.

Paul making an appearance was a bit surprising but the battle he had with Ash was pretty enjoyable. Plus the talk he had afterwards was a nice way to possibly get more information on Mega evolution.
8/7/2020 c22 Djfbejen
I really enjoyed reading this story during the 'worldly events' currently happening, and it is lots of fun to read. My favorite Pokemon of Ash's is Screecher, because I love ghosts types. Also, if Eevee ends up evolving soon, then she should either evolve into Sylveon, Glaceon, or Jolteon. Jolteon might be weird since Zeus is on the team, but it would still be cool, and it would be awesome to see some, er, shocking(lol) double battles with a mega evolving Zeus and a fast-as-lightning Jolteon trained alongside Surge and Zeus while working on those super electric moves and stuff. All in all, I can't wait for the next chapters. Thanks,
8/4/2020 c22 1995hzq
Intense fight against Sabrina, the battle with Paul was good too. With this, victory against Blaine should be guaranteed. Might have an idea for what Sabrina want to talk about with Ash. Keep it up.
8/4/2020 c22 1Appolaa
I liked this chapter! You're doing a good job of balancing the power the different trainers and Pokemon that have popped up throughout the story. It's a lot of fun to see Ash beginning to enter into the higher levels of battling with Sabrina and Blaine, I'm excited to see how he grows from there.

Also, I enjoy the way that you've written Pokemon such as Delphi and Zeus, as those two species don't tend to get a lot of love in the series. The only teammate that I can't claim to really care for is Hydrus, but the others work really well together and push forward the story nicely.

Keep doing such great work!
8/4/2020 c22 Guest
Nice chapter, I enjoyed seeing the battles Ash had and you did a good job in not making one side too OP. It looks like Sabrina might spill the beans on Ash's last visit soon but we'll have to see.

Seeing Ash catch up on his old companions was nice as I was wondering what they have been up to. And something is suspicious with Natalie... Another detail I liked was Ash's reaction to pretty girls. Romance isn't the focus and I like it that way but it's a cute reminder that Ash is very much a growing teenager lol. I also liked the realistic team dynamic in Ash's Pokemon. Some of them get along more with others and others never will but will work together if they must. It's a bit sad but not all would be harmonious considering the differences in a diverse group.
8/4/2020 c22 anarion87
nice chapter
8/4/2020 c22 17griffin blackwood
That’s was handled really well
8/4/2020 c22 6OFARiolu
Amazing chapter loved it!
8/4/2020 c22 frankieu
nice chapter thx for writing it
liked the battle against paul and sabrina
7/19/2020 c20 1Immortal Fafnir
Sorry there are two mistakes in my review of chapter 21. One is it will be why don't u give ash a Gallade instead of i. Second is it will be red's scarmory instead of scarlet.
All the best.
7/19/2020 c21 Immortal Fafnir
Hey bro, thanks for writing another amazing chapter. To be honest, I was a little critical of the first few chapters especially the mount moon incident which I feel could be better. But hey, that was still a good try which I appreciate. But from the cerulean episode, the story becomes brilliant. U improved dramatically. Currently I believe that this story is even better than challenger. Keep it up and one day the fanfiction will be legendary.
The team u have set up is awsome. Snorlax, Venasaur, and Infernape will be monsters in battle. I am also happy I have ash trapinch. Flygon is a strong pokemon and extremely under rated and it deserves some love. Xatu is also an interesting choice. By the way I have a few suggestions/queries regarding ash team.
One is why don't I try giving ash a gallade. I know ash two physics but still I think it fits. Gallade has excellent attack and special defense. It's defence and speed is shitty, but can be taken care by bulk up and agility. Also it has a variety of move pool like lead blade, x scissor,night slash, drain punch, thunder punch, poison jab,close combat, psycho cut and many more. I am surprised than none of the fanfictions inspired by traveller bothered to give ash a Gallade.
Also my query is have u decided to give ash galar pokemon? Maybe a corviknight for another flying and duraludon/dragapult as a dragon? It will be interesting to watch the battle between red's scarlet and she's corviknight if he catches one. Those are new pokemons and u may use in future.
Anyway these are only suggestions. It's not that I am demanding or something. I will love this fanfiction with whatever pokemon u give ash.
All the best for future chapters.
7/18/2020 c21 Flygar
Does he ever regain those memories or is the moral of the story we're all slaves to fate and need to die when the plans command us to?
7/18/2020 c11 Flygar
I wonder, when will she reveal shes modified his memories and brain?
7/18/2020 c10 Flygar
May Sabrina rot in hell, hope she gets offed
530 « Prev Page 1 .. 3 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 23 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service