Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Trainer

9/9/2017 c6 anarion87
good story so far
9/7/2017 c6 2candy4beth
Update soon please
9/1/2017 c6 Anon
I honestly love your work. Keep it up!
8/30/2017 c6 MechaRex 2.0
I guess most of this chapter was kinda "fluff", but it was really nice. You really need breaks from all the adventure-y parts or else it's going to get monotonous, and you've written it quite well. My only complaint is the battle scenes, which was rather...dull compared to the other ones you've written, although I guess it's just college/work.

I also have one question, and it pertains to the Legendary pokémon. How are you going to portray them in Trainer? Are they going to be forces of nature like in Traveler or are they going to be just super-strong pokémon that can be defeated by champions and the like?

I look forward to your next update!
8/25/2017 c6 Blue is the Sea
Hey! Sorry for the really late review- been a busy summer and now a flipping hurricane is coming.

Your Ash is developing at a great pace, and I'm liking the way you are taking the story. Good grammar and word choice used throughout. For some constructive criticism, some of your battles seem... clunky. They are a bit jarring to read and feel like they are missing parts. It's hard to describe because personally I know I would not be able to write battle scenes at all, but I think as you continue writing them they will smooth out.

The most important thing I can stress to you is don't let the readers bully you into changing things are doing things you don't want to. This is your story, write how you want to write it.

Good luck and I look forward to your next update!
8/19/2017 c6 Valokiloren
So, before I start, you can reach me for replies by sending a PM to my account, which has the same name as my review name. I just tend not to sign into .

Anyway, I'm enjoying this so far, though I freely admit that Mateusz's review, which you highlighted in the chapter, makes a good point - following a guideline, be it in game or anime, forces you to start to ignore the life and soul of the regions so as to match up to that particular storyline.

I mean, here's a point to it: is the S.S. Anne about to be attacked for the umpteenth time for no adequately explored reason? Everytime someone has it attacked or damaged or whatever just makes seeing it again that little less interesting. There's no stakes, especially in a story like this - the only characters that the audience has to care about are the protagonists, and on the S.S. Anne in Trainer, the only characters I can see that aren't OCs are Ash, who won't die since he's the focus of the story; Surge, who shouldn't die since he has a powerful enough team and I can see him carrying a single bird Pokemon for transport; and Gary, who might die but then Ash's chief rival vanishes.
If the S.S. Anne completes it's trip and gets into say Cinnabar Island, that would be an interesting divergence to many stories out there. Or the Game Corner being legitimate, or Pokemon Tower not having Pokemon legally allowed to be captured, since any Pokemon there are considered to be protected due to being too young to take care of themselves, since it is now an extension of Mr. Fuji's operations. Divergence, at its heart, is a better solution to the beaten road, and doing it by upending the predictable storyline is the best method.

As for gym leaders, I can understand matching up gym leaders to their representatives in the games/ anime, but sometimes I cannot stand to see the copy-paste antics. For example, the Waterflower family or Erika being the "weakest" member of the Top 8 Leaders, which to me is somewhat silly. If anything, and I know it sounds silly, shouldn't Sabrina be considered the weakest leader? After all - she's still reliant on the old Fighting Gym to keep control of the city, and in the games she and her gym trainers are unable to do anything to the Rocket invasion of the city. Erika just seems like she doesn't care so much for Celadon's gambling district, which is pretty much Team Rocket's only operating procedure there.
Sabrina being a powerful psychic but a weaker trainer would make sense, since she's considered to be young and not in control of her powers due to their sheer power. Equally, Erika ought to be among the most powerful members of the Gym Leaders, since Grass types offer a lot of variety, and if the Waterflowers are to remain weak then the other gym-type with most variety ought to be the most powerful since they have Pokemon to work with any type of strategy commonly used - Sweeper, Stall, Weather, Status, etc.
Giovanni being the best, alongside Blaine and Surge, these things work well, since Giovanni is meant to be on par with Lance, while Blaine is apparently ex Elite Four and Surge is a military veteran. But for 4th best in the region, or perhaps even 3rd depending on whether you are of the opinion that Fire types burn bright but fade away quicker than others due to their typing theme, should be someone unexpected. Hence my suggestion of Erika - Grass types don't get a lot of love, and nor does Erika which is silly to be honest.
Hell, if need be, have the Waterflowers be on the verge of losing their spot only to have Misty do something amazing at the Conference to prove herself as a serious contender who can then apprentice under Lorelei or something. As I say, divergence is key.

Oh, and finally your rare Pokemon. For the rare Pokemon, which I'm not convinced Ash should get or at least keep, since he could always trade it away, you could make it an Alolan form of a particular 'mon, or something not traditionally powerful. An Alolan Vulpix, for example, would be something he could retain for a while before eventually trading it to someone who can properly raise it, if it is competitive but wants to be in Contests, for example.

Looking back at this, this is a fairly large, somewhat ranty-review, but I hope, at the very least, that you aren't too offended and maybe even take on a couple of points on board. And I look forward to the future of this 'fic!
8/18/2017 c6 alpha
I really dont like nicknaming pokemon. Especially when people dontnupdate quickly. Its annoying trying to remember which pokemon u might mean.
Also OC are annoying because the anime characters already have sooo much scope to be OoC. So OC is a really waste one.
There are very very very very rare instance of the story being liked due to OC (like 1 in a million)
So pls avoid these. Thanks
Otherwise it is a really good but completely slow story.
8/17/2017 c6 Pradian
A very unorthodox Pokemon lineup - nonetheless your writing and story is compelling... at least it is far better than betrayal etc. I presume all or at least most of the Pokemon are those not commonly depicted in fanfiction?

I look forward to reading more of your works.
8/17/2017 c6 rockingchampif
Awesome first part of st anne arc ...battle scene was awesome not many writers can write great battle scene...as i mentioned previously your battle scenes are great could practically visaulise it ...luna's character is awesome ...delphi is acting strange i guess for her psychic enhancement...hydrus is comical ...great characters for pokemon too...most readers love it when the pokemon is having a great character...so ritchie got the charmander previously and gary has a growlithe so ash will get neither for his fire type...i think it would be torchic or chimchar...would love to see the the second part quickly between ash and gary in finals...i hope the rare pokemon is dragon type ...i got my oc in your story thnx for using it...its a great story ...nice relaxing st anne as it should be ...
8/17/2017 c6 2J'aimel'anime44163
I personally love the use of OCs. When you're creating an alternate universe, there's no real point in using the same characters for everything, especially when most of them live in different regions. It's simply unfeasible to use characters who have their own plot lines in different regions when you can make an OC to push the plot along. Regardless, I'm really enjoying the story and can't wait for the next chapter a
8/17/2017 c6 2Phantomsoul2015
Glad to see this story isn't dead yet
8/17/2017 c6 1SighDuck
I knew this would be an excellent chapter as soon as I saw the punny title. Excellent!
8/17/2017 c6 1995hzq
Another great chapter, anyway can't wait to see the mystery prize pokemon next chapter.
8/17/2017 c6 Amourshipper35
Good chapter I liked the battle tournament and I hope ash can win it
8/17/2017 c6 Xperior
Surge was just too funny lol
530 « Prev Page 1 .. 21 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service