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7/25/2017 c5 Amourshipper35
Yea ash won his thunder badge and his Pokémon ekloved and I liked that he let Ritchie have charmder
7/25/2017 c4 POKEMON GUEST
7/17/2017 c4 5Selet
I love the story so far. Team Rocket is actually competent, Nurse Joy's aren't pushovers, gym leaders have actually earned their position, besides Misty's sisters that is. Can't wait to read more of this story.
7/13/2017 c2 1megacharizat
this is getting interesting.
7/13/2017 c1 megacharizat
6/18/2017 c4 spookdoder
Okay, I have a question about allowing Ash and Gary to have as many Pokemon as they want: Why? What is the basis for this, they have never handled anything bigger than a Wartortle/Ivysaur. They are rookies with 1/2 badges and without any experience. Why are they allowed more than 6 pokemon and all the other people in Kanto are not.

Positive points are found as well though and deserve to get some mention. This story is much better than The Nomad, more details, better story, no Porygon. I do have some negative points though, you said you got a lot of inspiration from Challenger, which is fine, I think a lot of stories do. But you could have picked another water Pokemon than Poliwag though. Gone with something completely different than Challenger did. The biggest thing I don't like though is the TM case given to him by Red. If it was just the case I would have been fine with it, but it's filled with TM's to make his journey easier.

Anyway, keep doing what you're doing, I personally would have done some things different, but the story is definitely in my top 10 of Pokemon fanfictions if you don't start giving Ash super OP legendary or psuedo legendary pokemon and stay away from canon pokes as much as possible.
6/15/2017 c1 Fractal
First, congrats on rewriting the Nomad. I liked the original and it's good to see this up. The structure and dialogue here seems to flow better than before , and that's a great improvement.

However, I'd like to point out a concern i have about the new changes. Why do the Pokemon know moves way ahead of the curve? Aqua Tail is generally learned by a level 35 Blastoise, for example, and it might be better to start it off with Water Gun or Aqua Jet to make it more realistic and allow the powerful moves to grow over time. Most Pokemon wikis mention the level when a Pokemon learns a move , so that might help you.
6/14/2017 c4 Blooper
Loving your story! It's getting pretty entertaining and it's going to be cool to see how Ash evolves as a trainer and how the St Anne plays out.

OC Submission:
Matt Dear- 12 yrs old
Appearance: tall, short copper hair swept to the side, blue eyes, fair skinned. Wears simple t-shirt and shorts combo with sneakers.
Manners- direct, teasing, and slightly oblivious to certain things, Matt prefers to battle using Pokémon people usually wouldn't consider to be great choices in unique and devestating ways.
Team: Delibird (powerful ice and flying techniques with an explosion speciality), Stunky (strong poisons and natural spraying techniques are its speciality), Heatmor (intense fire techniques and tm empowered to cover weaknesses), Shuckle (impenetrable defense with huge trap laying capabilities and surprising manuverability with its shell), Mr. Mime (tough barriers, weaving illusions, fairy and psychic capabilities, and cunning mind) and Chansey (Team Cornerstone- the regenerating tank that tanks everything dished at it and unleashes her devestatingly powerful diverse movepool on opponents- the best that money can buy).

Hope that's good enough!
6/14/2017 c2 rockingchampif
My submission for oc's are
Name: angelica
Age: 11
Looks: blonde hair tied in two buns big black droopy eyes
Nature: bossy, tantrum baby, sore loser
Character: tricks her parents into giving whatever she wants and gets it...likes cute and shiny things...have all pre evolved pokemon with forever stone...
Pokemon: togepi, oshawatt, cleffa, pichu, eevee, igglybuff, bunnery...

Name: prince henry
Age : 11
Looks: black hair ,big blue eyes hair neatly trimmed and gelled not a single is wildly waving. Wears designers dress suit
Nature: royal, lazy & egoistic
Character: Gets all his work done by his servants , his servants throws the ball for him he just simply commands attack thats it...
Pokemon: growlithe, kirlia, seadra, combee, honedge, misdreavous
6/13/2017 c4 rockingchampif
Great chapter ...his team is quite well balanced i would love to see his poliwag evolve into poliwrath nothing against politoed but poliwrath is better in my pov...you have a great diction and narrating style is awesome as well...great to see development in ash character i would rate this fic on par with the challenger and traveler really its that awesome...most of the fix does not have a great battle description but yours is awesome...great rivalry amongst team members and some wariness amongst members who are weak to that type ...great character development of ash and his pokemon...great to see ash's character longing for human companion as well ...his limit has already been lifted that is such refreshing to see...waiting for a dragon and a fire type to join his team i would to see a growlithe in his team as they could be trained to be an awesome pokemon and a considered a legendary as well but charmander is awesome as well...plz dont give spoilers of which pokemon he would be having as half of the fun is knowing in which pokemon he would have for his journey...great story do continue it quickly as fast as you can ...cant wait for the next chapter...
6/13/2017 c4 Blue is the Sea
I've been keeping my eye on this for a little bit now and am excited to see it's progress. Most stories like this die within the first 20,000 words so I'm pleasantly surprised to see it still chugging along. It's still fairly early in Ash's journey so you haven't got a lot of wiggle room to put your own spin on things but I'd say your doing a pretty good job with what you have shown. Your battle scenes are entertaining and I don't feel the need to skim through them like most fics and your diction is pleasant to read. Team choices seem fairly balanced as well, Bulbasaur line being one of my favorites doesn't hurt my appreciation of the team either. Don't be afraid to skip giving him certain Pokemon if you don't want to. This is already AU, make it so if Ash's anime charmander does exist he is living it up on an exotic volcano island.

Having Ash travel with two others was risky- it can stunt the MCs growth and makes it difficult to give everyone enough screen time without overdoing it. But Jack and Natalie showed the human and more emotional side of your Ash making it easier to connect with him. His relationship with Gary is interesting as well and I bet healthier for everyone in the long run. I love Traveler, but I do not like how it inspired everyone to start making a 'strong' Ash package include anti-social tendencies with other human characters to an extreme degree. It gets really annoying to constantly see the inner thoughts of Ash be about how much he hates socializing with people and wasting his time. Your Ash being willing to stop and chat and actually be friendly with people is refreshing.

Thanks for the chapter, and I look forward to your next update!

Hmm and OC submissions are always fun. If you want to engage readers that is the surefire way to get them to comment haha.
Alistair Theirin (Male)(Age 12) Quiet, Shy Strategist who wants to be an Ace Trainer
Team: Vulpix, Meditite, Croconaw, Nidorina, Larvitar, and Ferroseed (NO SHINIES)
6/13/2017 c4 1fearofvengeance
Oh yeah couple of other things
- Since your fic will be deviating from canon then Charmander may not even exist in your continuity if you choose not to have him join Ash's team which to be honest I'd be fine with.
It seems that Ash will be catching a dragon type not from Kanto and Johto, will be interested on how you will introduce the Pokemon in your story
6/13/2017 c1 fearofvengeance
Couple of comments for all four chapters.
- Bulbusaur as the starter is interesting to say the least and while I am not the biggest fan, will be checking where this is headed.
- Will Ash only catch Kanto and Johto Pokemons for now?
- Interesting that a couple of experienced trainers and a gym leader defeated TR in Mt. Moon as most fics such as Challenger and Traveler ends up with TR winning.
- Mewto makes the St. Anne explode again?
- What will be the strength levels of the legendaries, will it be beatable or or unbeatable
- Charizard for the team, I love Charizard since I was a kid and I love fire types plus he is also a flying type so there could be two fire types of Ash's team.
- How many pokemons will be caught?
- Looking forward for the characters you will introduce in the future especially for the Pokemon League
- The current lineup, Ivysaur, Flaffy, Clefairy, Poliwag and Natu is pretty unique but hopefully Ash catches a Rhyhorn.
- Gary does not seem like he despises Ash from the way you depicted him, still annoying af though.
6/12/2017 c4 10draconic skysong
I like the way this story is going! and the way you're developing Ash's family. I've seen him with a poliwrath, but politoad seems to not get a lot of love in fanfics.

hmm, if I were a pokemon trainer around the level you're looking for,
name: Reana
age, 11
personality, most often quiet and an observer of people, but ruthless in battle relying on pure power, with a prefrence for paralizing her opponents. or
description, tan skin, chin length red hair, emerald eyes
charmeleon, flamethrower, slash, dig, dragon pulse
nidoqueen, earthquake, body slam, thunder bolt, ice beam,
slopoke, surf, headbut, psychic, thunder wave
kadabra, psychic, thunder punch, tri attack recover
absol, future sight, slash, perish song, dark pulse
shinx, thunderbolt, crunch, hidden power ice, strength

p.s never finished diamond, being blind kind of made it impossible, but shinx has the same set I believe my luxray had. wish I could cuz the later games sound really cool.

either way I look forward to your next update!
6/12/2017 c4 thor94
good chapter.
misty is really more skilled than her anime self.
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