Just In
for Sweet Things

9/8/2017 c1 9PJ Blindclown
I read this when you first published it, and was struck by how much it related to a similar situation in my own life.

This was a beautifully written one shot, with a particular focus on the simple pleasures of childhood, coupled with the idea of comfort eating when things are too hard. I may be wrong here, but you seem to be suggesting that Solla is doing just that, perhaps to regain some of his own childhood. Of course, he doesn't realise just how sick this is making him, and that there are other ways that he can remember his childhood, as well as protecting those of the village children. Whatever you were going for here, I love how you juxtaposed the innocence of a child enjoying a few sweets with the serious health problems an adult can face by eating too many.

Just one thing though, I'm pretty sure that throughout the Nine Seas, they refer to them as "sweets" rather than "candies". You do seem to realise this, and jump between the two. My advice, pick one name for them and stick with it. It would probably be better if you called them sweets as Rodda does, but that's up to you.

Otherwise, this is a brilliant work, and I love the way that Rowan uses magic to measure things that we need machines for.
Keep it Up,

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