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6/27 c4 1H20 Delirious Fan
OKAY GUYS (possibly Girls) IF you turn on PM on your account you will be the first to know when future chapters are coming out. H20 DELIRIOUS FAN OUT
6/1 c3 Asia leslie
This is a good story but make the chapters a bit longer. Keep going!

I find it low key funny when you say mum because I'm American and you probably know that we say mom. Anyway, back to the story. Poor Harry. Well that's my review.

Until next time...
XXX-Asia
5/19 c3 Corrin
Thanks for listening to my reviews btw. I like this story so keep on going and writing!
5/19 c3 Guest
OH NO SHE DIDNT! I really wanna see what happens now. Besides a few typos it's good so keep going!
5/14 c2 Corrin
IM SOO HAPPY U READ MY REVIEW AND KEPT DOING THIS STORY! I like how u described what he looked like so that I can imagine what he looks like. It creates more of a connection to the story and its characters rather than just listing what happens. Anyway, who's gonna recruit Henry? James? Remember when u write the recruitment process that u have to make it realistic and accurate. The recruits aren't all perfect. He probably couldn't beat Bruce in the dojo. He may not be a complete genius, but smart enough to get into CHERUB. U don't wanna make him perfect bc if u do the story won't be realistic and it will seem too posed. Will u make up characters or use the ones already? Is there going to be one of Muchamores characters in basic training or in the story in general? If so, put a note at the beginning saying the characters belong to him (except for yours, of course.) I would personally like to see his characters mixed up in it so that it feels like a CHERUB story. In conclusion, thanks for responding and good luck on the next chapter.

Xoxo-Corrin
5/7 c1 corrin
I like the idea of this story and where it's going. However [no flames] but instead of putting dialogue all in one paragraph u should make a new paragraph whenever someone talks bc it makes it easier to read. For example, u put this: "Mum I'm home." said Harry. "Hi Harry, are you going to play football." said his mum sweetly "Yeah." Harry yelled getting changed out of his school uniform "Ok." said his mum "Be back before five."

Really, according to accurate grammar, it should be more like this: "Mum I'm home." said Harry.
"Hi Harry, are you going to play football." said his mum sweetly
"Yeah." Harry yelled getting changed out of his school uniform.
"Ok." said his mum "Be back before five."

Do u see where I'm coming from? I also think that u could possibly make the chapters a bit longer, like an actual book. Even though this is the first chapter, I think u should depict what Harry looks like. I imagine him as being sorta like one of those teenage heartthrobs. Do me a favor and look up the names max and Harvey Mills (together bc their twins). That's who this kid reminds me of (and their both British!) Anyway, what age is Harry. I frankly think that he should be the same age as Lauren & that when he gets to campus they could form a bond [maybe more] ;). I really wanna see this finished with like 30 chapters bc I think it has potential to be great.

I don't want u to think that I'm like an old hag telling u about grammar so I'm gonna be low key extra. I actually just turned thirteen on May 6. How old are u? I am a girl and have a twin sister. Where are u from? America? I am. If u don't wanna answer this bc u think I'm being too much, that's fine. I just wanna know who's writing this story.
Back to relevent info, I actually like this story and want u to do another chapter & to answer this review bc I put a WHOLE LOT of work and time to do it. Keep writing and don't give up!
5/3 c1 H20 Delirious Fan
Guys Thanks for the support H20 Delirious out Peace!

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