for Distortion6/25 c1 mackenziecmcmillan
You are very bad at making, fights, dialogue and story
In rwby canonical cardin was stronger than most huntsman and used an oversized weapon; most pro's couldn't stop cardin with a single hand,
they have aura nobody will strike with the broadside of their blade, broadside strikes do have a use but most of that is nullified because rwby has plot armour for there weapons
The arc sword was described as being nigh indestructible, only extremely powerful grimm/gods can break it
It doesn't make sense for joune to get a entirely new style and personality, you've just made an oc
You are very bad at making, fights, dialogue and story
In rwby canonical cardin was stronger than most huntsman and used an oversized weapon; most pro's couldn't stop cardin with a single hand,
they have aura nobody will strike with the broadside of their blade, broadside strikes do have a use but most of that is nullified because rwby has plot armour for there weapons
The arc sword was described as being nigh indestructible, only extremely powerful grimm/gods can break it
It doesn't make sense for joune to get a entirely new style and personality, you've just made an oc
1/4 c1 A Sole Reviewer
hey man, gonna be blunt with you but this just reeks of those neglect and betrayal fics. I kind of know where this is gonna go.
Jaune is "neglected" by his team even though it was his own fault. Leaves and comes back super overpowered in a short amount of time and somehow beats everyone that has years of training over him. His team wants forgiveness but he refuses but eventually does so. that's it, any plot in between doesn't matter because the whole story is about the first chapter and his anger towards everyone.
That's why most neglect fics don't work. they lack creativity and originality. Most of this is written by 15 year olds that "feel" neglected and betrayed by their parents or peers for some "unknown" reason. in reality they know the exact reason and most but all, it's their fault. They can't accept it so they play the victim and blame everyone else. They love playing the victim because it excuses them off responsibility.
Then they make this false perception in their head that they are better than everyone else but deep in their hearts they' know that they're the scared weak kid that's longing for love and attention.
That's why a lot of people love this super op oc or Isekai anime because it's some loser gifted op powers. they can imagine themselves being op.
a bit of a tangent but now you know why people hate these types of fics
hey man, gonna be blunt with you but this just reeks of those neglect and betrayal fics. I kind of know where this is gonna go.
Jaune is "neglected" by his team even though it was his own fault. Leaves and comes back super overpowered in a short amount of time and somehow beats everyone that has years of training over him. His team wants forgiveness but he refuses but eventually does so. that's it, any plot in between doesn't matter because the whole story is about the first chapter and his anger towards everyone.
That's why most neglect fics don't work. they lack creativity and originality. Most of this is written by 15 year olds that "feel" neglected and betrayed by their parents or peers for some "unknown" reason. in reality they know the exact reason and most but all, it's their fault. They can't accept it so they play the victim and blame everyone else. They love playing the victim because it excuses them off responsibility.
Then they make this false perception in their head that they are better than everyone else but deep in their hearts they' know that they're the scared weak kid that's longing for love and attention.
That's why a lot of people love this super op oc or Isekai anime because it's some loser gifted op powers. they can imagine themselves being op.
a bit of a tangent but now you know why people hate these types of fics
12/10/2022 c1 holymalony1234
This is is the same vein as Abused and Neglected Male Reader lmao. Not my cup of tea but it has decent grammar so is instantly better than most fanfictions out there
This is is the same vein as Abused and Neglected Male Reader lmao. Not my cup of tea but it has decent grammar so is instantly better than most fanfictions out there
10/14/2021 c1 gtCGO17
Is this a crackfic or troll fic? Certainly feels like it from how poor the writing is. It feels as bad as things like My Immortal and other fics like it, where the characters make out and stuff to Linkin Park basically.
If it's not written as a parody or a troll post I recommend deleting this. Embarrassing.
Is this a crackfic or troll fic? Certainly feels like it from how poor the writing is. It feels as bad as things like My Immortal and other fics like it, where the characters make out and stuff to Linkin Park basically.
If it's not written as a parody or a troll post I recommend deleting this. Embarrassing.
5/29/2021 c1 Tutejshy
Honestly, the amount of edginess in this is overwhelming. This one is on par with WBWL in HP fandom. Wronged Jaune to the max. To each his own, but wouldn't really recommend.
Honestly, the amount of edginess in this is overwhelming. This one is on par with WBWL in HP fandom. Wronged Jaune to the max. To each his own, but wouldn't really recommend.
5/5/2021 c30 Guest
Thank you for everything this story has been amazing and even though I am a little disheartened I understand and thank you once again.
-Your friendly neighborhood Spooterman
Thank you for everything this story has been amazing and even though I am a little disheartened I understand and thank you once again.
-Your friendly neighborhood Spooterman
4/28/2021 c30 Guest
While I, and likely everyone else who's ever read this story is upset, I hope this isn't permanent, but it is likely, good luck with future stories.
While I, and likely everyone else who's ever read this story is upset, I hope this isn't permanent, but it is likely, good luck with future stories.
4/10/2021 c30 Eddyg125
Thanks for the story dude I'll be waiting till you get the inspiration to continue it
Thanks for the story dude I'll be waiting till you get the inspiration to continue it
4/9/2021 c30 
18Genital WarThunder
Well that’s disappointing.
While I admit this wasn’t my favorite. Despite having some overly dark and edgy parts it did have my attention, and I was curious as to how it would end. Such a shame that will never be realized.
18Genital WarThunderWell that’s disappointing.
While I admit this wasn’t my favorite. Despite having some overly dark and edgy parts it did have my attention, and I was curious as to how it would end. Such a shame that will never be realized.