for The twin dragon of Soul Land8/10/2017 c2 
42A Dyslexic Writer
A little cliche, but not a terrible premise. Still, you still have a long way to go as a writer.
(suggestion for the future)
If you are going to use the 'person waking up in their favorite XXXX' then you need to include a moment when something horrible happens and they realize that this new life isn't just some game. Otherwise the entire story lacks weight because nothing is taken seriously.
I might be wrong with this as I don't write for that particular knish, but I have usually found them tiring because of this sense that the character is outside of the story looking in.
42A Dyslexic WriterA little cliche, but not a terrible premise. Still, you still have a long way to go as a writer.
(suggestion for the future)
If you are going to use the 'person waking up in their favorite XXXX' then you need to include a moment when something horrible happens and they realize that this new life isn't just some game. Otherwise the entire story lacks weight because nothing is taken seriously.
I might be wrong with this as I don't write for that particular knish, but I have usually found them tiring because of this sense that the character is outside of the story looking in.
5/14/2017 c2 5all about party and crazy
The idea is nice and all but you can at least keep up with the chinese source material and name your character with chinese names. Y'know, paying homage and all that...
5all about party and crazyThe idea is nice and all but you can at least keep up with the chinese source material and name your character with chinese names. Y'know, paying homage and all that...
5/11/2017 c2 Josh
Great story idea love it hope u make more chapters soon
Great story idea love it hope u make more chapters soon