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9/28/2017 c4 7Athrun-chan
Finally, Flay got to meet the Cruset team! I have always wondered on what it'd be like if she met the boys, particularly Athrun or Nicole because those 2 seem to be quite understanding to her situation.

Btw, I like Yzak's words in this chapter. Good job in portraying him!
9/28/2017 c3 Athrun-chan
I can't believe I missed this story, even though it featured my favorite girl Flay Allster! Ugh what did I do in my life exactly? :(

Anyway, I'm reading this story of yours and I'll drop some reviews here and there. You inspired me to start writing Flay fanfics again (I wrote some though it's fully crack pairing), so who knows maybe I'll update my stories in near future. I love this chapter!
8/23/2017 c30 umaiwe
You shall know the truth between Mu and Rau later on, just keep your curiosity inside Yzak ;-)
8/3/2017 c29 5frozenseed
I always enjoy the story in Yzak's perspective. It's so amusing most of the time. By the way, I don't think 'Fury' sounds as grand as 'Freedom' and 'Justice'. Something like... 'Vengeance' is better imo. It would also fit with Yzak's story against Rau.
7/29/2017 c28 frozenseed
I really like how it turned out, and finally Athrun is back! This chapter has made me excited again about the upcoming updates. Like I said Yzak is more suited for melee combat. And I'd still like to see him piloting a prototype version of Legend and wreaking havoc in the battlefield with its giant laser sword haha.
7/24/2017 c27 4Snarky Miracles
Worth the wait. That was well written! So full of emotion, I was cheering her on at the end there. Can't wait to start seeing her being a little bada** now!
7/21/2017 c26 2northernlion196
7/17/2017 c26 5frozenseed
Another battle scene is always welcome, though I kinda expected Yzak to favor melee combat more than range. Also when I read the part where Kira helps him get onto the Kusanagi, to be honest I'm concerned that he's becoming Athrun's replacement for this story. I like Athrun. I hope you wouldn't change his role for the rest of the story.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
7/15/2017 c25 4Snarky Miracles
Very cute ending there!

So this time around, Orb is accepting the alliance with ZAFT? Well good for them! It always irritated me how a nation that had (in actuality) very little military power compared to the other nations was considered a threat to those other nations.

Well done on this chapter. Short but sweet and to the point.
7/15/2017 c25 5frozenseed
I really like this chapter. I'm glad that you're trying to make them use more strategy instead of relying on Kira's OP skill.
7/14/2017 c24 4Snarky Miracles
Flay and Yzak go out to fight. Get in a couple shots at the Calamity, then Kira drops in with the Freedom and goes to town. That annoyed me so much about SEED and Destiny.

I think you should have spent some more time on the chapter and packed in more character interactions. It's a bit of a let down that not much happened. Nothing really progressed. Even Yzak seeing Kira for the first time didn't really have a lot of substance to it.

I think you really rushed this chapter. You previously managed to bring out the emotion from your characters, but this time the character moments were very shallow. There wasn't much feeling put into any of it.

For example:

"Kira leaves Yzak and Flay standing on the metal rafter. Flay appears as if she's lost in her own thoughts, but Yzak's blood is boiling. The Strike pilot lives, and he's returned from the grave with an upgraded mobile suit. Nicol never was truly avenged."

It doesn't convey the emotions Yzak was feeling in that moment.

I would have gone for something like this:

Kira placed his hand on Flay's shoulder as he walked by, he told her it was good to see her again with hardly any emotion in his voice. The redheaded Natural had seemingly become lost in her own little confusing world that Yzak knew he would probably never figure out. The more she changed, the more she stayed the same.

But the world Yzak became lost in was a familiar one. He was lost in a world of red. A world of molten rage, blood, and hatred. For there, and without a mark to even match his own scar, went the one with the blood of Nicol Amalfi on his hands. Alive in spite of Yzak's brutal attempts to end his life and avenge his comrade. Every step he took, every breath he drew, a monument to his failure.

"Yzak..." she spoke gently to try and reach him through the haze of anger clouding his senses. "We're not out of this situation yet. If you fight him, you'll just make things worse."

The silver haired Coordinator balled a tight fist. "He killed Nicol," he spat through his furiously clenched teeth.

"I know," she answered softly again. She knew enough by now that Yzak had to be slowly pulled from his fury, not ripped away from it.

"Nicol was good. He was the best of us."

She was now worried his teeth would crumble from how tensely he was clenching them.

Just as she thought he couldn't look any more furious with the situation as he watched Kira walking away, she suddenly felt as if she could feel the heat radiating from his person. If anger could make a human being spontaneously combust, Yzak Joule was fast reaching the point at which they would find out. Especially as Nicol's last words echoed through his mind for the hundredth time since he first realized who that brown haired boy was.

"He was suppose to be dead..."
7/13/2017 c24 5frozenseed
Yzak needs to accept by now that he can't do anything about Kira's absurd luck haha. It's also understandable to feel a bit jealous after seeing him came back with the awesome Freedom. I wish I could tell him to return home and break some rules so he can 'borrow' an earlier prototype of Destiny or Legend. xD
7/12/2017 c23 BorosPaladin
I've been enjoying this story so far, but there's one thing in this chapter I need to address. Orb doesn't use Strike Daggers. At this point in SEED they use their own M1 Astray design, and later the Murasame in SEED: Destiny.
7/12/2017 c23 2northernlion196
Yuna is a weird character. Never got much of a backstory on him so no one really does anything with him.
7/12/2017 c23 4Snarky Miracles
Well written! Flay finally made a choice for herself. Can't wait for the butt kicking to begin!

Seiran reminded me of something. What was it with all the girls in SEED/Destiny being in arranged marriages? I kinda understood that for the PLANTs since it also came with an explanation, a flimsy one, but they still offered one. No such thing was offered for Flay or Cagalli, it was like they did that just to complicate their personal lives for the sake of adding some drama.

Onto the substance of the chapter.

I get that Flay thought she could maybe get through to her father, but surely everyone around her might have tried a bit harder to explain the futility of it? It would have shown some more determination on her part if she had made a more informed decision about what she was getting into with her father there. Maybe they could have coached her a bit on what to say to him, I mean, it was only their country on the line, they should have done whatever they could have done to give her the best possible shot.

It would have been fine for the whole thing to break down right away after that, especially if you wanted to present him as an entirely unreasonable man.

All she came away with was more evidence of Rau playing both sides, but still no solid proof.
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