for Empress Ascendant8/27/2017 c2 coduss
what ramifications was she and panacea talking about? immortality, or does she have to worry about going insane like Vulkan? and, with no spear made from the emperor's psychic lightning Fulgurite around, that could be a problem...
what ramifications was she and panacea talking about? immortality, or does she have to worry about going insane like Vulkan? and, with no spear made from the emperor's psychic lightning Fulgurite around, that could be a problem...
8/16/2017 c2 Guest
You say words to many times "Yes. Yes, you are" and the like which isn't needed at all. There only needs to be one thing at the start, reading the words twice is odd despite the fact most people talk that way a lot.
The LARGE BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS of the Emp takes up the screen too much which causes, for me at least, a break in immersion when reading. It's like when someone writes CAPITAL LETTERS FOR YELLING when there isn't any need for them as we have a "!" to help show the raised voice.
Let me put it this way, if you handed in a paper to any school with writing like that would the teacher mark those things to be fixed and are they easy to spot? Would you use them when writing to a employer? If the answer to them is "Yes the teacher would mark it." or "No I wouldn't write like that to an employer." then you probably shouldn't do so here as it just causes bad habits.
Besides that there aren't any glaringly obvious problems and I hope you update this sometime in the future.
You say words to many times "Yes. Yes, you are" and the like which isn't needed at all. There only needs to be one thing at the start, reading the words twice is odd despite the fact most people talk that way a lot.
The LARGE BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS of the Emp takes up the screen too much which causes, for me at least, a break in immersion when reading. It's like when someone writes CAPITAL LETTERS FOR YELLING when there isn't any need for them as we have a "!" to help show the raised voice.
Let me put it this way, if you handed in a paper to any school with writing like that would the teacher mark those things to be fixed and are they easy to spot? Would you use them when writing to a employer? If the answer to them is "Yes the teacher would mark it." or "No I wouldn't write like that to an employer." then you probably shouldn't do so here as it just causes bad habits.
Besides that there aren't any glaringly obvious problems and I hope you update this sometime in the future.
8/13/2017 c2 Guest
This is looking very interesting indeed! Looking forward to seeing how it develops.
This is looking very interesting indeed! Looking forward to seeing how it develops.
7/26/2017 c2 Guest
Intresting... will wait for me.
Intresting... will wait for me.
7/8/2017 c2 
9Gremlin Jack
Eh, didn't like the end of the fight scene. Taylor's telekinetic, as soon as she saw the cannon she should have turned the barrel and aimed it at Mush :D
9Gremlin JackEh, didn't like the end of the fight scene. Taylor's telekinetic, as soon as she saw the cannon she should have turned the barrel and aimed it at Mush :D
7/4/2017 c2 Kushiban
Moar ! I want to read Moar ! ;)
Great reading, I like the idea and the writing.
The Emperor reminds me of the Old Man/Mentor trying to educate the young hero, that's refreshing :)
Overall, story looks great, I can't wait for her to show her first lasgun :D
Keep up the good work !
Moar ! I want to read Moar ! ;)
Great reading, I like the idea and the writing.
The Emperor reminds me of the Old Man/Mentor trying to educate the young hero, that's refreshing :)
Overall, story looks great, I can't wait for her to show her first lasgun :D
Keep up the good work !
6/20/2017 c2 John Therion
I wonder about that "slip" Glory Girl did... Their identities are public? So I don't understand why that is even in there...
I wonder about that "slip" Glory Girl did... Their identities are public? So I don't understand why that is even in there...
6/16/2017 c2 MKaius
I enjoyed this a lot. The battle once more was well done showing the villains to be competent and well versed in their powers. The focus on the E88 is welcome and the interaction with glory girl and the wards came out well I will be following this and hoping for frequent updates.
I enjoyed this a lot. The battle once more was well done showing the villains to be competent and well versed in their powers. The focus on the E88 is welcome and the interaction with glory girl and the wards came out well I will be following this and hoping for frequent updates.
6/16/2017 c1 MKaius
Great first chapter. Keeping the emperor around as a voice in her head turned out well.
I'm glad you didn't focus on the bullying or Winslow too much, for some reason most worm fanfics keep beating on that dead horse.
The fight was nice and the name is great.
Onto the second chapter.
Great first chapter. Keeping the emperor around as a voice in her head turned out well.
I'm glad you didn't focus on the bullying or Winslow too much, for some reason most worm fanfics keep beating on that dead horse.
The fight was nice and the name is great.
Onto the second chapter.
6/15/2017 c1 kirman151
Why... just why everybody keep thinking that Taylor at the begining of the story is something other than one of millions of feeble little girls (extra pathetic) and that she could in some way interest any higher power except random conflict generators that is Shards? All her badassery came much later under the influence of shard thinker power, Tattletale's encouragment and (I suspect) one of steps of Path to Victory.
Why... just why everybody keep thinking that Taylor at the begining of the story is something other than one of millions of feeble little girls (extra pathetic) and that she could in some way interest any higher power except random conflict generators that is Shards? All her badassery came much later under the influence of shard thinker power, Tattletale's encouragment and (I suspect) one of steps of Path to Victory.
6/10/2017 c2 Guest
Very good
Very good
6/9/2017 c2 Grey
I'm interested in seeing where your story goes have fun and I look forward to more.
I'm interested in seeing where your story goes have fun and I look forward to more.