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for Infinite Dimensions I: First to the Stars

5/24/2017 c3 11ACSkywalker
Interesting idea. Though I've been writing a story with a very similar premise for ages. The early iterations aren't worth reading though they are on this site. I created a race of beings who are also able to travel between worlds and are able to duplicate a single ability from the new universe as well as a ton of others rules for them. I would also advise reading over the dialogue from your story so far as it's still clunky and doesn't seem like something anyone from our world would say. Also I personally think you should add more emotional conflict to killing. Or at least more description behind it, the characters seem too one dimensional for now. I would also offer my help to beta read your chapters if you would like. I would love for your story to be read by as many people as possible. Also reading it gave me an idea for a shared multiverse including my creations the Walkers, though only if you're willing. I can't wait to see how this story goes and may the Force be with you.

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