for The Flash and the Black Swordsman11/3/2017 c1 C. Rinkuki Takato
3rd person and 1st person POVs shifted too quickly; you may want to stick to one and use line break to change POV. And Diavel's a fool; the safe margin to raid is 10 lvl from the floor number (and that is with a raid party), and this is floor 20 (with each floor spanning miles). You may want to add 7 levels to everyone (so everyone's average is 22, and Kirito is 41, if I remember right from this chapter)
3rd person and 1st person POVs shifted too quickly; you may want to stick to one and use line break to change POV. And Diavel's a fool; the safe margin to raid is 10 lvl from the floor number (and that is with a raid party), and this is floor 20 (with each floor spanning miles). You may want to add 7 levels to everyone (so everyone's average is 22, and Kirito is 41, if I remember right from this chapter)
7/24/2017 c1 Delta Marauder
Hello, got little nice gig going here, nor are you bad with detailing. This isn't the most original idea in the world, but if done correctly(which I have know you will), it'll be a hit. Word of advice though, this is your story now, don't be afraid to change things up, and never enough details.
Also, you said strong from the get go, which is fine, but level 34 on floor one is stretching it a little, he'd be at just about the level he was at in the Moonlit Black Cat Arc.
Any who, I see you published this on May 23 and it's currently July 24, I don't wanna breath down your neck but I wanna see where you take this, update soon and keep up the good work.
Hello, got little nice gig going here, nor are you bad with detailing. This isn't the most original idea in the world, but if done correctly(which I have know you will), it'll be a hit. Word of advice though, this is your story now, don't be afraid to change things up, and never enough details.
Also, you said strong from the get go, which is fine, but level 34 on floor one is stretching it a little, he'd be at just about the level he was at in the Moonlit Black Cat Arc.
Any who, I see you published this on May 23 and it's currently July 24, I don't wanna breath down your neck but I wanna see where you take this, update soon and keep up the good work.
6/12/2017 c1 
4bookgirl18
This sounds like it will be a really interesting story! I am eager for the next chapter.
4bookgirl18This sounds like it will be a really interesting story! I am eager for the next chapter.
5/23/2017 c1 Guest
I'm interested!
I'm interested!
5/23/2017 c1 1Supbroimawesome
Just read the description and I'm already sad this fic isn't 200k words long. Do more!
1SupbroimawesomeJust read the description and I'm already sad this fic isn't 200k words long. Do more!
5/23/2017 c1 1Keya2003
I like the base of the story but could you please make the chapers last a little longer at least around 4k words per chapter, no offense but, I think long chapters are better than short chapters
1Keya2003I like the base of the story but could you please make the chapers last a little longer at least around 4k words per chapter, no offense but, I think long chapters are better than short chapters
5/23/2017 c1 Sword Art Guest
Oh? Some interesting changes you got there. I wonder what will happen with:
-Moonlit Black Cats
-Kizmel (light novels, a good SAO fanfic centering around her is Monochrome Duet)
-Griselda & Godfree
-Strea, Philia, other game and even Ordinal Scale movie characters
-Yui being brought in earlier, or seeing scenes from her perspective (while still being forced to watch players and accumulating errors in her code) and/or other characters' perspectives (such as even Suguha and other family members IRL)?
-Characters from other arcs like Sinon or Yuuki being in SAO?
That's all I'll list for now. I don't necessarily want all of these, but I am curious as I have seen other fanfics incorporate them in some way. Good luck with this!
Oh? Some interesting changes you got there. I wonder what will happen with:
-Moonlit Black Cats
-Kizmel (light novels, a good SAO fanfic centering around her is Monochrome Duet)
-Griselda & Godfree
-Strea, Philia, other game and even Ordinal Scale movie characters
-Yui being brought in earlier, or seeing scenes from her perspective (while still being forced to watch players and accumulating errors in her code) and/or other characters' perspectives (such as even Suguha and other family members IRL)?
-Characters from other arcs like Sinon or Yuuki being in SAO?
That's all I'll list for now. I don't necessarily want all of these, but I am curious as I have seen other fanfics incorporate them in some way. Good luck with this!