8/11/2017 c10 Guest
Hey! I like this story so far, but I feel you haven't addressed the elephant in the room yet, that being your protagonist's knowledge of the eezo deposits in asteroids far off the beaten path.
In this conversation with Tevos, he basically admitted to knowing about it beforehand and all but told that he knew about even more. Any rational thinking adult like those on his crew should have been thinking about that when they "found" the first eezo asteroid, but in your point-of-view scenes/chapters there was never anything of that mentioned, or I must have missed it. Since you made it sound like nobody would ever travel that far away from the mass relay network, this should have raised all kinds of eyebrows.
That's basically the only thing that has been bugging me as I read this story in one go, otherwise it was and will be an enjoyable take on an SI protagonist that doesn't have only one goal, joining Shepard's crew in the most unbelievable ways possible.
On a side note: is it only me or does the economy in Mass Effect not make a lot of sense? The Quarians are a race of exiles with no planet to call their home and a series of aging "generation ships" that have an eerie similarity to the surviving colonials in the Battlestar Galactica verse. How can they keep their navy afloat, so to speak, and where do they get their eezo from? I imagine that being the engineering wizards they are by nature, things are running a whole lot more efficient than any other fleet is capable of, but that still means the migrant fleet would need something to work with.
Hey! I like this story so far, but I feel you haven't addressed the elephant in the room yet, that being your protagonist's knowledge of the eezo deposits in asteroids far off the beaten path.
In this conversation with Tevos, he basically admitted to knowing about it beforehand and all but told that he knew about even more. Any rational thinking adult like those on his crew should have been thinking about that when they "found" the first eezo asteroid, but in your point-of-view scenes/chapters there was never anything of that mentioned, or I must have missed it. Since you made it sound like nobody would ever travel that far away from the mass relay network, this should have raised all kinds of eyebrows.
That's basically the only thing that has been bugging me as I read this story in one go, otherwise it was and will be an enjoyable take on an SI protagonist that doesn't have only one goal, joining Shepard's crew in the most unbelievable ways possible.
On a side note: is it only me or does the economy in Mass Effect not make a lot of sense? The Quarians are a race of exiles with no planet to call their home and a series of aging "generation ships" that have an eerie similarity to the surviving colonials in the Battlestar Galactica verse. How can they keep their navy afloat, so to speak, and where do they get their eezo from? I imagine that being the engineering wizards they are by nature, things are running a whole lot more efficient than any other fleet is capable of, but that still means the migrant fleet would need something to work with.
8/13/2017 c10 Quietsound
I am really enjoying the story so far. It shows that you know a lot about the ins and outs of the ME-universe. Especially this last chapter was very well written. Can't wait to find out where you're going take this story.
I am really enjoying the story so far. It shows that you know a lot about the ins and outs of the ME-universe. Especially this last chapter was very well written. Can't wait to find out where you're going take this story.
8/7/2017 c10 Guest
Do anyone reading this comment. go to TV tropes.
And look up magnificent bastard. Brock is filling that role to a T
Do anyone reading this comment. go to TV tropes.
And look up magnificent bastard. Brock is filling that role to a T
8/9/2017 c10 Bobobobobobon
Holy crap! That is my reaction to how good this is. Honestly a great job and. No complaints from me. Hope you keep up the great work.
Holy crap! That is my reaction to how good this is. Honestly a great job and. No complaints from me. Hope you keep up the great work.
8/9/2017 c10 PyromaniacSquib
Looking forward to the next interview where the Councillor will try an pry some information out of our protagonist.
Will they see Maryssa again?
Looking forward to the next interview where the Councillor will try an pry some information out of our protagonist.
Will they see Maryssa again?
8/7/2017 c10 Betapike
Damn brock is such a magnificent bastard. I love it
See tvtropes if you want to know what I'm talking about.
Damn brock is such a magnificent bastard. I love it
See tvtropes if you want to know what I'm talking about.
8/7/2017 c10 Skittertale
Sooooo gooooooood. Phew! What a rush it was reading all of that delicious chapter, the writing was simply gourmet.
Sooooo gooooooood. Phew! What a rush it was reading all of that delicious chapter, the writing was simply gourmet.
8/7/2017 c10 3Madman123456
Oooh, Politicisms, pretty )
I figure by "antagonizing" the counsilor you're going to find out if she'd let herself be maneuvered into a position because she hates your guts? I figure the chance for that is very low. Well, of course it is, she's supposed to be a politician after all. They'd need to be able to get useful information out of you with a neutral mask while you're pissing in their cereal.
Sparatus and Udina are amazingly shitty at their jobs in that regard.
Oooh, Politicisms, pretty )
I figure by "antagonizing" the counsilor you're going to find out if she'd let herself be maneuvered into a position because she hates your guts? I figure the chance for that is very low. Well, of course it is, she's supposed to be a politician after all. They'd need to be able to get useful information out of you with a neutral mask while you're pissing in their cereal.
Sparatus and Udina are amazingly shitty at their jobs in that regard.
8/7/2017 c10 6Nipplegunz
Great chapter!
The sonar thing sounds like a good idea, but I think it would be a REALLY bad idea to use against geth. I think they would be able to track down exactly where the sonar is coming from and be able to find you.
Great chapter!
The sonar thing sounds like a good idea, but I think it would be a REALLY bad idea to use against geth. I think they would be able to track down exactly where the sonar is coming from and be able to find you.
8/7/2017 c10 1mk0008
Cool as a cucumber. That was some interesting battle. Thinking to the future, who is the violet pilot's Aunt?
Now that is the question.
Cool as a cucumber. That was some interesting battle. Thinking to the future, who is the violet pilot's Aunt?
Now that is the question.
8/7/2017 c10 1ArchAngel319
Thank you very much for the brilliantly crafted chapter. Good luck, and as always have fun writing.
Thank you very much for the brilliantly crafted chapter. Good luck, and as always have fun writing.
8/7/2017 c10 zapper25
This is an Awesome chapter very very well done love the banter.
this is the kind of standard i like to see of polotics
This is an Awesome chapter very very well done love the banter.
this is the kind of standard i like to see of polotics
8/7/2017 c1 Artyom-Dreizehn
Man! I really like your changing point of views here, captures the characterization of your OC and Tevos in this fic. Welp! next up with Torrin and co. Thumbs up!
Man! I really like your changing point of views here, captures the characterization of your OC and Tevos in this fic. Welp! next up with Torrin and co. Thumbs up!
8/7/2017 c10 frankieu
nice chapter thx for writing it
loved the political foreplay so to speak will be fun to see more of it wonder what the numbers are of the deal
would be fun to see it in the news so to speak an read the reactions of the other players
nice chapter thx for writing it
loved the political foreplay so to speak will be fun to see more of it wonder what the numbers are of the deal
would be fun to see it in the news so to speak an read the reactions of the other players