for Mass Effect: Plan for the Galaxy7/18/2018 c2 Waka Metalbelly
I'm not really sure what you were trying to do with that first chapter. It made zero sense. it felt like you were putting us at the end of another book that you haven't published yet. I get that you're trying to give the main character something that they're running from or leaving to a maybe or maybe not better place, but on the whole it was just utterly confusing. That aside this plot is interesting enough that I think I'm going to give a nibble. Let's see where this goes.
I'm not really sure what you were trying to do with that first chapter. It made zero sense. it felt like you were putting us at the end of another book that you haven't published yet. I get that you're trying to give the main character something that they're running from or leaving to a maybe or maybe not better place, but on the whole it was just utterly confusing. That aside this plot is interesting enough that I think I'm going to give a nibble. Let's see where this goes.
7/18/2018 c1 
1ISleep
Pro tip, readers Hate the pronoun game. stop saying "he", or "that body", etc etc. Thats too blantant, shows us how ur trying to make a suspenseful or interesting thing. trust me, its not as interesting as itd seem to u. It just annoys readers more often than not. Tell us whats going on, dont be super vague. Be subtle, especially if ur telling the story from a first person perspective. Otherwise, its very noticable its ur first fic. Im reading a few paragraphs, and I already am writing this whole comment on this...
1ISleepPro tip, readers Hate the pronoun game. stop saying "he", or "that body", etc etc. Thats too blantant, shows us how ur trying to make a suspenseful or interesting thing. trust me, its not as interesting as itd seem to u. It just annoys readers more often than not. Tell us whats going on, dont be super vague. Be subtle, especially if ur telling the story from a first person perspective. Otherwise, its very noticable its ur first fic. Im reading a few paragraphs, and I already am writing this whole comment on this...
7/17/2018 c18 andrewswings
this was a really good chapter it is one of the few mass effect stories si or not that i have read that actully talk about what goes on in the batarian planets
this was a really good chapter it is one of the few mass effect stories si or not that i have read that actully talk about what goes on in the batarian planets
7/14/2018 c18 Random guy
Have you thought of having him introduce power armor like what darpa is working on. Also good chap I eagerly await the next update
Have you thought of having him introduce power armor like what darpa is working on. Also good chap I eagerly await the next update
7/12/2018 c18 Guest
next time can we see the crews reaction to him shooting himself in the hand please
next time can we see the crews reaction to him shooting himself in the hand please
7/13/2018 c18 Pteaset
That was actually a very accurate depiction of a slave auction based on American history in the American south pretty American Civil War it was common for a slave auction the slaves been given three-piece suits and tophats and they would cover them in oil’s to make their skin look more muscular
That was actually a very accurate depiction of a slave auction based on American history in the American south pretty American Civil War it was common for a slave auction the slaves been given three-piece suits and tophats and they would cover them in oil’s to make their skin look more muscular
7/13/2018 c17 Pteaset
I am so happy and sad at the same time I’m happy that this story is so good but I’m sad that I’m almost caught up it’s been nice the last few days been able to just read when I have spare time sadly I have to wait
I am so happy and sad at the same time I’m happy that this story is so good but I’m sad that I’m almost caught up it’s been nice the last few days been able to just read when I have spare time sadly I have to wait
7/13/2018 c14 Pteaset
I just want to point out something that from my perspective is a perfect example of just how amazing your story is in essence so far your story has been about people mine in for resources and it’s been incredibly entertaining that is something incredibly difficult to do but you’ve pulled it off
I just want to point out something that from my perspective is a perfect example of just how amazing your story is in essence so far your story has been about people mine in for resources and it’s been incredibly entertaining that is something incredibly difficult to do but you’ve pulled it off