6/29/2017 c6 Artyom-Dreizehn
Wow, you made me cry... It's good to have people to talk to when one experience hardship, Aleria fit the bill when it comes to that, can't help myself to compare her said cheerful personality to the MC Asari from Psi Effect. Smooth interactions between the two, kind of a shock that it was his son, still have more mysteries to answer about him on the why? Thumbs up! And love to see the next update!
Wow, you made me cry... It's good to have people to talk to when one experience hardship, Aleria fit the bill when it comes to that, can't help myself to compare her said cheerful personality to the MC Asari from Psi Effect. Smooth interactions between the two, kind of a shock that it was his son, still have more mysteries to answer about him on the why? Thumbs up! And love to see the next update!
6/29/2017 c6 1dekuton
well done. bout bawled my eyes out at work the moment he mentioned his son. grown ass man bout to cry. ugh. damn things anyways. well done
well done. bout bawled my eyes out at work the moment he mentioned his son. grown ass man bout to cry. ugh. damn things anyways. well done
6/29/2017 c6 1jdude281
I like this story so far. And I think you did an especially good job at showing some of Neilson's ptsd. I also like the relationship you're building between him and Aleria. I kinda found in this chapter that when she's not being all bubbly and cheerful, but is more kind and gentle, she almost acts similar to Liara. Not quite as nieve, but still. Anyway, great job, and keep it up.
I like this story so far. And I think you did an especially good job at showing some of Neilson's ptsd. I also like the relationship you're building between him and Aleria. I kinda found in this chapter that when she's not being all bubbly and cheerful, but is more kind and gentle, she almost acts similar to Liara. Not quite as nieve, but still. Anyway, great job, and keep it up.
6/29/2017 c6 deadtrooper
love the chapter. good pacing. nice revelation and character development.
overall an awesome chapter.
good luck and keep on writting
love the chapter. good pacing. nice revelation and character development.
overall an awesome chapter.
good luck and keep on writting
6/29/2017 c6 frankieu
nice chapter thx for writing it
yay for getting the trip underway hope his isue wont be to bothersome for him
here is hoping he is going to be well off soon so he can get started building his empire and upgrading his ship
nice chapter thx for writing it
yay for getting the trip underway hope his isue wont be to bothersome for him
here is hoping he is going to be well off soon so he can get started building his empire and upgrading his ship
6/25/2017 c5 Guest
I had fun reading that, thanks!
I had fun reading that, thanks!
6/22/2017 c5 sGuesty Guest
Hmmm, I'd have to understand the intricacies to eezo to fully expound on it, but couldn't Neilson used that much amount of eezo for other purposes than just selling? Of course, if you're on a schedule, that might be time wasted, but an element that raises and reduces mass is immense.
Lightspeed ftl projectiles for instance. Or ftl asteroids.
I don't follow where you're plan is going next, but it'll be intresting
Hmmm, I'd have to understand the intricacies to eezo to fully expound on it, but couldn't Neilson used that much amount of eezo for other purposes than just selling? Of course, if you're on a schedule, that might be time wasted, but an element that raises and reduces mass is immense.
Lightspeed ftl projectiles for instance. Or ftl asteroids.
I don't follow where you're plan is going next, but it'll be intresting
6/22/2017 c5 1Glrasshopper
Okay, so far I am liking this but the one thing that is bothering me is that I have no idea who the hell this Jason character is. Are we at least going to get a bit of backstory somewhere about him?
Okay, so far I am liking this but the one thing that is bothering me is that I have no idea who the hell this Jason character is. Are we at least going to get a bit of backstory somewhere about him?
6/22/2017 c5 1dekuton
i like this story to a stupid degree. please continue it good god the pet names for the asari pilot. violet pilot YES LOL
i like this story to a stupid degree. please continue it good god the pet names for the asari pilot. violet pilot YES LOL
6/22/2017 c5 Artyom-Dreizehn
Love the new update! The ships name is fitting to his role as he needs to be covert and have to be fast paced in doing a significant change in a little over 2 years and that will be a challenge. Cerberus has started after the first Contact with the citadel council. Well excited to see the next update!
Love the new update! The ships name is fitting to his role as he needs to be covert and have to be fast paced in doing a significant change in a little over 2 years and that will be a challenge. Cerberus has started after the first Contact with the citadel council. Well excited to see the next update!
6/22/2017 c5 frankieu
nice chapter thx for writing it ah the bane of paperwork wonder what will drive him more crazy the reapers threat of the paperwork
nice chapter thx for writing it ah the bane of paperwork wonder what will drive him more crazy the reapers threat of the paperwork
6/20/2017 c1 Artyom-Dreizehn
This fic is a promising one in the long run so don't lose your drive. Thumbs up!
This fic is a promising one in the long run so don't lose your drive. Thumbs up!
6/20/2017 c4 Artyom-Dreizehn
I like the story as it goes with the MC. World building, giving more flavor and not just generalization of species, even if this is a filler chapter it gave the ME universe more detail for the pre-canon. no politics involve yet with the backstabbing and deception (common in other fics). the review before this is also right. I'm excited to see your next updates and have my support as manuel had said that the MC's action should have an impact in the grand scheme of things if done correctly. Please let Shepard be the fem with default features(perfect already, redhead with green eyes?) Ship name...Hmm, should be related and named by him, or a named by the manufacturer? Atlas, Hyperion, Dauntless, Achiles? Maybe use the name hrasing from Halo?
I like the story as it goes with the MC. World building, giving more flavor and not just generalization of species, even if this is a filler chapter it gave the ME universe more detail for the pre-canon. no politics involve yet with the backstabbing and deception (common in other fics). the review before this is also right. I'm excited to see your next updates and have my support as manuel had said that the MC's action should have an impact in the grand scheme of things if done correctly. Please let Shepard be the fem with default features(perfect already, redhead with green eyes?) Ship name...Hmm, should be related and named by him, or a named by the manufacturer? Atlas, Hyperion, Dauntless, Achiles? Maybe use the name hrasing from Halo?
6/18/2017 c3 ErzherzogKarl
I like your story so far. Every SI/OC story where canon is altered or changed is worth reading.
My personal opinion is that the geth are treated far to nicely in nearly all fanfiction. When they expelled the quarians they murdered children, babies and old people. They are not this innocent missunderstood machine race , which just wants peace. They killed the envoys of other races for 300 years.
I think the best explanation for the golden ending was made by someone on Tvtropes.
Direct quote form Tvtropes:
"The Golden Ending of the Rannoch arc at first appears to be a blatant retcon of previous canon, with the geth suddenly willing to make peace with the quarians despite adopting a shoot-on-sight policy for all organics in the past 300 years, making any overtures at peace completely impossible even if the quarians had been open to it (Revelation even mentions that they massacred diplomats from neutral Council races). But this is actually subtly explained: at the beginning of their invasion, the quarians blew up the geth's Dyson Sphere. The one containing probably the majority of the geth population, considering how huge it was, and therefore the population responsible for making the aforementioned shoot-on-sight policy. On top of this, we know that new geth have been created since the Geth War, and Legion implies that those already uploaded into the Dyson Sphere were the older programs as opposed to newer ones- in other words, the very programs who participated in the original Geth War and the ones that probably detest organics to a far greater extent than the rest of their brethren. Destroying it would have basically caused the geth equivalent of a large demographic shift via die-off of the old conservative population, leading to the more "evolved" and relatively open-minded geth population becoming the majority."
I like your story so far. Every SI/OC story where canon is altered or changed is worth reading.
My personal opinion is that the geth are treated far to nicely in nearly all fanfiction. When they expelled the quarians they murdered children, babies and old people. They are not this innocent missunderstood machine race , which just wants peace. They killed the envoys of other races for 300 years.
I think the best explanation for the golden ending was made by someone on Tvtropes.
Direct quote form Tvtropes:
"The Golden Ending of the Rannoch arc at first appears to be a blatant retcon of previous canon, with the geth suddenly willing to make peace with the quarians despite adopting a shoot-on-sight policy for all organics in the past 300 years, making any overtures at peace completely impossible even if the quarians had been open to it (Revelation even mentions that they massacred diplomats from neutral Council races). But this is actually subtly explained: at the beginning of their invasion, the quarians blew up the geth's Dyson Sphere. The one containing probably the majority of the geth population, considering how huge it was, and therefore the population responsible for making the aforementioned shoot-on-sight policy. On top of this, we know that new geth have been created since the Geth War, and Legion implies that those already uploaded into the Dyson Sphere were the older programs as opposed to newer ones- in other words, the very programs who participated in the original Geth War and the ones that probably detest organics to a far greater extent than the rest of their brethren. Destroying it would have basically caused the geth equivalent of a large demographic shift via die-off of the old conservative population, leading to the more "evolved" and relatively open-minded geth population becoming the majority."
6/14/2017 c4 Jotun
Heya.
A good start to your story, I think. Looks very promising. I have only one request: Don't let this die ;)
I may come up with ideas and/or concrete and constructive criticism in later chapters, but, once again, this looks great.
Jotun (not a registered member here)
Heya.
A good start to your story, I think. Looks very promising. I have only one request: Don't let this die ;)
I may come up with ideas and/or concrete and constructive criticism in later chapters, but, once again, this looks great.
Jotun (not a registered member here)