for Mass Effect: Plan for the Galaxy6/22/2017 c5 Artyom-Dreizehn
Love the new update! The ships name is fitting to his role as he needs to be covert and have to be fast paced in doing a significant change in a little over 2 years and that will be a challenge. Cerberus has started after the first Contact with the citadel council. Well excited to see the next update!
Love the new update! The ships name is fitting to his role as he needs to be covert and have to be fast paced in doing a significant change in a little over 2 years and that will be a challenge. Cerberus has started after the first Contact with the citadel council. Well excited to see the next update!
6/22/2017 c5 frankieu
nice chapter thx for writing it ah the bane of paperwork wonder what will drive him more crazy the reapers threat of the paperwork
nice chapter thx for writing it ah the bane of paperwork wonder what will drive him more crazy the reapers threat of the paperwork
6/20/2017 c1 Artyom-Dreizehn
This fic is a promising one in the long run so don't lose your drive. Thumbs up!
This fic is a promising one in the long run so don't lose your drive. Thumbs up!
6/20/2017 c4 Artyom-Dreizehn
I like the story as it goes with the MC. World building, giving more flavor and not just generalization of species, even if this is a filler chapter it gave the ME universe more detail for the pre-canon. no politics involve yet with the backstabbing and deception (common in other fics). the review before this is also right. I'm excited to see your next updates and have my support as manuel had said that the MC's action should have an impact in the grand scheme of things if done correctly. Please let Shepard be the fem with default features(perfect already, redhead with green eyes?) Ship name...Hmm, should be related and named by him, or a named by the manufacturer? Atlas, Hyperion, Dauntless, Achiles? Maybe use the name hrasing from Halo?
I like the story as it goes with the MC. World building, giving more flavor and not just generalization of species, even if this is a filler chapter it gave the ME universe more detail for the pre-canon. no politics involve yet with the backstabbing and deception (common in other fics). the review before this is also right. I'm excited to see your next updates and have my support as manuel had said that the MC's action should have an impact in the grand scheme of things if done correctly. Please let Shepard be the fem with default features(perfect already, redhead with green eyes?) Ship name...Hmm, should be related and named by him, or a named by the manufacturer? Atlas, Hyperion, Dauntless, Achiles? Maybe use the name hrasing from Halo?
6/18/2017 c3 ErzherzogKarl
I like your story so far. Every SI/OC story where canon is altered or changed is worth reading.
My personal opinion is that the geth are treated far to nicely in nearly all fanfiction. When they expelled the quarians they murdered children, babies and old people. They are not this innocent missunderstood machine race , which just wants peace. They killed the envoys of other races for 300 years.
I think the best explanation for the golden ending was made by someone on Tvtropes.
Direct quote form Tvtropes:
"The Golden Ending of the Rannoch arc at first appears to be a blatant retcon of previous canon, with the geth suddenly willing to make peace with the quarians despite adopting a shoot-on-sight policy for all organics in the past 300 years, making any overtures at peace completely impossible even if the quarians had been open to it (Revelation even mentions that they massacred diplomats from neutral Council races). But this is actually subtly explained: at the beginning of their invasion, the quarians blew up the geth's Dyson Sphere. The one containing probably the majority of the geth population, considering how huge it was, and therefore the population responsible for making the aforementioned shoot-on-sight policy. On top of this, we know that new geth have been created since the Geth War, and Legion implies that those already uploaded into the Dyson Sphere were the older programs as opposed to newer ones- in other words, the very programs who participated in the original Geth War and the ones that probably detest organics to a far greater extent than the rest of their brethren. Destroying it would have basically caused the geth equivalent of a large demographic shift via die-off of the old conservative population, leading to the more "evolved" and relatively open-minded geth population becoming the majority."
I like your story so far. Every SI/OC story where canon is altered or changed is worth reading.
My personal opinion is that the geth are treated far to nicely in nearly all fanfiction. When they expelled the quarians they murdered children, babies and old people. They are not this innocent missunderstood machine race , which just wants peace. They killed the envoys of other races for 300 years.
I think the best explanation for the golden ending was made by someone on Tvtropes.
Direct quote form Tvtropes:
"The Golden Ending of the Rannoch arc at first appears to be a blatant retcon of previous canon, with the geth suddenly willing to make peace with the quarians despite adopting a shoot-on-sight policy for all organics in the past 300 years, making any overtures at peace completely impossible even if the quarians had been open to it (Revelation even mentions that they massacred diplomats from neutral Council races). But this is actually subtly explained: at the beginning of their invasion, the quarians blew up the geth's Dyson Sphere. The one containing probably the majority of the geth population, considering how huge it was, and therefore the population responsible for making the aforementioned shoot-on-sight policy. On top of this, we know that new geth have been created since the Geth War, and Legion implies that those already uploaded into the Dyson Sphere were the older programs as opposed to newer ones- in other words, the very programs who participated in the original Geth War and the ones that probably detest organics to a far greater extent than the rest of their brethren. Destroying it would have basically caused the geth equivalent of a large demographic shift via die-off of the old conservative population, leading to the more "evolved" and relatively open-minded geth population becoming the majority."
6/14/2017 c4 Jotun
Heya.
A good start to your story, I think. Looks very promising. I have only one request: Don't let this die ;)
I may come up with ideas and/or concrete and constructive criticism in later chapters, but, once again, this looks great.
Jotun (not a registered member here)
Heya.
A good start to your story, I think. Looks very promising. I have only one request: Don't let this die ;)
I may come up with ideas and/or concrete and constructive criticism in later chapters, but, once again, this looks great.
Jotun (not a registered member here)
6/14/2017 c4 Guest
cool idea and a good foundation however your already on the line most authors have to watch! Being mysterious and not wanting to give away plot elements to soon is great but not giving enough details to "hook" your readers into your story. Im on the line about whether i care what comes next. Your leaving alot out background/explanation wise and it makes it hard to be invested in your character's.
cool idea and a good foundation however your already on the line most authors have to watch! Being mysterious and not wanting to give away plot elements to soon is great but not giving enough details to "hook" your readers into your story. Im on the line about whether i care what comes next. Your leaving alot out background/explanation wise and it makes it hard to be invested in your character's.
6/14/2017 c4 Guest-Questioner
Fillers exist not as a wall but as a build,
Sure fillers may seem bad but in in some cases they provide a way to advance a character
Example being: Son Gohan, in the original Dragon ball Z
It depicted gohan' growth from a whiny little brat to a strong young man
through the trial's and hardships he went through as he matured he became something more
If someone, ANYone really said screw that get to the action then, my guess, they did not
have childhood soooo ignore those type's.
Fillers exist not as a wall but as a build,
Sure fillers may seem bad but in in some cases they provide a way to advance a character
Example being: Son Gohan, in the original Dragon ball Z
It depicted gohan' growth from a whiny little brat to a strong young man
through the trial's and hardships he went through as he matured he became something more
If someone, ANYone really said screw that get to the action then, my guess, they did not
have childhood soooo ignore those type's.
6/15/2017 c4 Blaze1992
Okay I am very hesitant to hit the follow button namely from the content in the first CH's.
Cause it sounds like something that would belong in a Dark morbid M-rated fic.
Now since your OC is setting up shop ahead of ME cannon with access to a boatload of cred's does that me we can expect events/tech/weapons/gear/ships not native to ME verse to show up?
Okay I am very hesitant to hit the follow button namely from the content in the first CH's.
Cause it sounds like something that would belong in a Dark morbid M-rated fic.
Now since your OC is setting up shop ahead of ME cannon with access to a boatload of cred's does that me we can expect events/tech/weapons/gear/ships not native to ME verse to show up?
6/14/2017 c4 frankieu
interesting frst chapters will be nice to see what kind of base of operation he will be able to set up and what king of changes he will be able to make
interesting frst chapters will be nice to see what kind of base of operation he will be able to set up and what king of changes he will be able to make
6/13/2017 c4 Mouse the Annon
Heh. I still haven't put the pieces together yet, but coming along well.
Heh. I still haven't put the pieces together yet, but coming along well.
6/8/2017 c3 
14OnkelJo
Why is Hectar not more suspicious considering his "new boss" knows so much about Quarians, their culture, and their politics? Every alarm of his should go off. Quarians are outcasts, below homeless people. No one in his right mind would go out of their way to learn about the Quarians.
Perhaps people with fetishes, but no one else.
This job interview sounds very much too good to be true. He knows too much. Not only the Admirals' name, but their stance on the Geth. While we're at it: AFAICR, there is no one (yet) who honestly believes in peace with the Geth. Since we are still pre-ME1, there hasn't been any sightings of Geth outside the Perseus Veil since the war. From the Quarians' perspective, the Geth are literally Murder Hobos, having brought the Quarian race to the brink of extinction, and no one knows why they haven't finished them off back then. The real story has been buried, and no one is still alive who could tell it. Not to mention that the Quarians executed most, if not all, "Geth Apologists" back when they fled from Rannoch.
Anyway. As always, I won't just point out the flaws in your logic, but I'm offering an alternative take on how to remedy that.
For all Hectar knows, his potential new boss could be a serial killer. Psychopath. Just plain old criminal looking for a patsy. Let him know that you are aware of his predicament. Still, he has no choice but to accept. Play a bit on the stereotype of Quarians being very good with tech. You need cheap-ish workers, they need to make a living for the time being. Spring the geth stuff later. Stick and carrot. Classic.
A guy who's only slightly racist opposed to everyone else... sticks out, no doubt, but far less than a guy who knows far more than he should. If I read the timeline correctly, you should still have a while until ME1. Earn their trust slowly. The fewer questions are asked, the less hassle you have.
Of course, this is your story, after all, and you can do whatever you want with it. Just my two cents :)
14OnkelJoWhy is Hectar not more suspicious considering his "new boss" knows so much about Quarians, their culture, and their politics? Every alarm of his should go off. Quarians are outcasts, below homeless people. No one in his right mind would go out of their way to learn about the Quarians.
Perhaps people with fetishes, but no one else.
This job interview sounds very much too good to be true. He knows too much. Not only the Admirals' name, but their stance on the Geth. While we're at it: AFAICR, there is no one (yet) who honestly believes in peace with the Geth. Since we are still pre-ME1, there hasn't been any sightings of Geth outside the Perseus Veil since the war. From the Quarians' perspective, the Geth are literally Murder Hobos, having brought the Quarian race to the brink of extinction, and no one knows why they haven't finished them off back then. The real story has been buried, and no one is still alive who could tell it. Not to mention that the Quarians executed most, if not all, "Geth Apologists" back when they fled from Rannoch.
Anyway. As always, I won't just point out the flaws in your logic, but I'm offering an alternative take on how to remedy that.
For all Hectar knows, his potential new boss could be a serial killer. Psychopath. Just plain old criminal looking for a patsy. Let him know that you are aware of his predicament. Still, he has no choice but to accept. Play a bit on the stereotype of Quarians being very good with tech. You need cheap-ish workers, they need to make a living for the time being. Spring the geth stuff later. Stick and carrot. Classic.
A guy who's only slightly racist opposed to everyone else... sticks out, no doubt, but far less than a guy who knows far more than he should. If I read the timeline correctly, you should still have a while until ME1. Earn their trust slowly. The fewer questions are asked, the less hassle you have.
Of course, this is your story, after all, and you can do whatever you want with it. Just my two cents :)
6/6/2017 c3 Artemis Styx
You know, the vast majority of SI/OC inserts are a 'join Shep along for the ride' kind of thing. You are actually trying to do something different. Kudos to you for that.
However, as OnkelJo already pointed out, some of the stuff you wrote is implausible at best.
You know, the vast majority of SI/OC inserts are a 'join Shep along for the ride' kind of thing. You are actually trying to do something different. Kudos to you for that.
However, as OnkelJo already pointed out, some of the stuff you wrote is implausible at best.