for Mass Effect: Plan for the Galaxy7/12/2018 c18 
2BJ Hanssen
I do like how every detail in your story seems very well thought out, at least as far as I can recall. It's how I prefer to write myself, so naturally it's what I prefer to read as well :)
2BJ HanssenI do like how every detail in your story seems very well thought out, at least as far as I can recall. It's how I prefer to write myself, so naturally it's what I prefer to read as well :)
7/12/2018 c18 DahakStaz
Intersting Chapter, it is new to me to see this type of cover operation in ME fic and its refreshing, only kind similar to this type is Kasumi loyality mission and its canon so no thrill in there. Also the thing about need to take care about your 'property' by the qwners is both logical and make sense, it also make the batarians a little(just tiny tiny bit...) less evil and more pragmatic. I just hope we will see some time skips in future, while I agree that building solid fundation for his future business,crew and actions is very important I have a feeling that the story lost the momentum a little. I don't meen it in wrong way or that I started disliking this story it just a feeling and it could be that its only me but I would like to see some more action eighter in business or tech aspect of the story. So in summary grate and refreshing chapter.
Intersting Chapter, it is new to me to see this type of cover operation in ME fic and its refreshing, only kind similar to this type is Kasumi loyality mission and its canon so no thrill in there. Also the thing about need to take care about your 'property' by the qwners is both logical and make sense, it also make the batarians a little(just tiny tiny bit...) less evil and more pragmatic. I just hope we will see some time skips in future, while I agree that building solid fundation for his future business,crew and actions is very important I have a feeling that the story lost the momentum a little. I don't meen it in wrong way or that I started disliking this story it just a feeling and it could be that its only me but I would like to see some more action eighter in business or tech aspect of the story. So in summary grate and refreshing chapter.
7/9/2018 c1 Doombug
Who is this Jason person that is supposed to be so great and why was it important enough for it to affect his decision? Is he his lover? his son? his family? Why would suicide be big no or are we to believe that some huge dude in the sky actually gives a shit and why would they care? Also, like almost all SI/OC's you gave the MC way too many advantages, should have been just dropped into the world and left to flounder since if they are meddling this much why wouldn't they just fix the things they think are wrong themselves with a snap of the fingers. Not to mention why would these things care if all those people die and events happen as canon. I mean since these things have already happened why bother with changing them. I don't see any motivation as to why they'd want to change how things turned out in mass effect.
Who is this Jason person that is supposed to be so great and why was it important enough for it to affect his decision? Is he his lover? his son? his family? Why would suicide be big no or are we to believe that some huge dude in the sky actually gives a shit and why would they care? Also, like almost all SI/OC's you gave the MC way too many advantages, should have been just dropped into the world and left to flounder since if they are meddling this much why wouldn't they just fix the things they think are wrong themselves with a snap of the fingers. Not to mention why would these things care if all those people die and events happen as canon. I mean since these things have already happened why bother with changing them. I don't see any motivation as to why they'd want to change how things turned out in mass effect.
6/29/2018 c17 Rune Landel
Really loving this story, and I can't wait to find out what happens next! Keep on writing please!
Really loving this story, and I can't wait to find out what happens next! Keep on writing please!
6/14/2018 c1 Criticism
First off, when it comes to self insertions you really should put pertinent info in an authors note or something at the beginning. Like the protagonists' gender and sexual orientation if only to cut down on flames and confusion. Second, why was this chapter necessary? Its mostly exposition that establishes how 'special' you are. It's ok to be 'special' but if you want it to not feel pretentious/emo/etc you've got to do it by either showing it in bits and pieces or say flashbacks of this horror. After reading this chapter all I feel is annoyance because you have not established yourself enough as a person for me to fully empathize with. I feel like this would have worked better had it started with the character landing in their destination with the occasional flashback to give context on their decisions/actions. Third, the technical aspects of this (grammar, writing, etc) are pretty good so not complaints on that front.
First off, when it comes to self insertions you really should put pertinent info in an authors note or something at the beginning. Like the protagonists' gender and sexual orientation if only to cut down on flames and confusion. Second, why was this chapter necessary? Its mostly exposition that establishes how 'special' you are. It's ok to be 'special' but if you want it to not feel pretentious/emo/etc you've got to do it by either showing it in bits and pieces or say flashbacks of this horror. After reading this chapter all I feel is annoyance because you have not established yourself enough as a person for me to fully empathize with. I feel like this would have worked better had it started with the character landing in their destination with the occasional flashback to give context on their decisions/actions. Third, the technical aspects of this (grammar, writing, etc) are pretty good so not complaints on that front.
5/24/2018 c16 Rifful
OMG the Krogan review was priceless.
OMG the Krogan review was priceless.
5/24/2018 c17 tempetepapillon
While I have some minor issues with the story (like the mc backround) it is very well written. I allways enjoyed stories where the protagonist slowly builts himself an empire. "The Hovoc Sid of the Force" is one of the best examples of that one. I really liked how you mixed it up with the pov changes, to give alternate experiences. If you happen to look for a Beta or at least a spell checker I would gladly offer my services. I normaly don't have much patience with OCs, so the fact that you made me like all those you introduce speaks for your skill. Thank you very much for your work and sharing it with us. I hope you will find the time to update.
While I have some minor issues with the story (like the mc backround) it is very well written. I allways enjoyed stories where the protagonist slowly builts himself an empire. "The Hovoc Sid of the Force" is one of the best examples of that one. I really liked how you mixed it up with the pov changes, to give alternate experiences. If you happen to look for a Beta or at least a spell checker I would gladly offer my services. I normaly don't have much patience with OCs, so the fact that you made me like all those you introduce speaks for your skill. Thank you very much for your work and sharing it with us. I hope you will find the time to update.
5/4/2018 c3 Schnarf
favorite chapter so far. i quite like seeing the SI from a different persons perspective
favorite chapter so far. i quite like seeing the SI from a different persons perspective
4/26/2018 c17 10swrWriter
This has quickly become one of my favorite mass effect stories on this site. Neilson uses his knowledge well, and the OCs are pretty fantastic. Great work so far, I look forward to more and I can hardly wait for what comes next! Write at your own pace, and don't give up!
10swrWriterThis has quickly become one of my favorite mass effect stories on this site. Neilson uses his knowledge well, and the OCs are pretty fantastic. Great work so far, I look forward to more and I can hardly wait for what comes next! Write at your own pace, and don't give up!
4/20/2018 c17 Guest
Thanks for this latest chapter.
I guess I don't have much to say about the content, so let me make a quick point in regards to your author's note at the start. When I look back on all the fanfiction stories I have read over the years, then some types of stories stand out as the biggest disappointments. Those were the ones that started out incredibly well but lost their steam at some point, only to receive some abbreviated or forced conclusions. Trust me, any observant reader can taste it if an author doesn't enjoy what he's writing or doesn't have the motivation to give his best. That's even more apparent when the writing didn't go through an elaborate editing process but was instead published directly.
My point is, I would much prefer to see irregular updates once every few months than you trying to force it and maybe give up entirely. I don't mind waiting since there's really a whole lot of other stuff to read, the only danger I see in very slow progress like that is that you could lose sight of and familiarity with your own story.
Thanks for this latest chapter.
I guess I don't have much to say about the content, so let me make a quick point in regards to your author's note at the start. When I look back on all the fanfiction stories I have read over the years, then some types of stories stand out as the biggest disappointments. Those were the ones that started out incredibly well but lost their steam at some point, only to receive some abbreviated or forced conclusions. Trust me, any observant reader can taste it if an author doesn't enjoy what he's writing or doesn't have the motivation to give his best. That's even more apparent when the writing didn't go through an elaborate editing process but was instead published directly.
My point is, I would much prefer to see irregular updates once every few months than you trying to force it and maybe give up entirely. I don't mind waiting since there's really a whole lot of other stuff to read, the only danger I see in very slow progress like that is that you could lose sight of and familiarity with your own story.
4/20/2018 c17 Guest
cool chapter
cool chapter
4/17/2018 c17 Guest
Glad to see you return. I know what you mean about work and school getting in the way, my current record is one chapter in the last half a year... so you have me beat!
Glad to see you return. I know what you mean about work and school getting in the way, my current record is one chapter in the last half a year... so you have me beat!