1/20/2018 c16 Episoph
You have excellent character development - it is a real joy to read how they interact with each other and how they start to warp their surroundings so to speak.
The little mind games with Tevos have been my personal highlight so far and I am kind of curious if you plan to flesh out the crush Aleria seems to be developing.
I am slightly concerned that throwing convenient eezo money at problems becomes the go to solution but I suppose that is actually accurate for how the real world works at times. It is a bit surprising though, that we havenāt seen him pop up on the radar of some of the big players; or are his activities in the big picture not yet truly noteworthy?
As a sidenote: I have read the story in one go up to this chapter and find it a bit difficult to keep track of how much time has actually passed for the protagonist. Would 4 months come close?
Anyway, I hope you keep writing and am looking forward to your next chapter!
You have excellent character development - it is a real joy to read how they interact with each other and how they start to warp their surroundings so to speak.
The little mind games with Tevos have been my personal highlight so far and I am kind of curious if you plan to flesh out the crush Aleria seems to be developing.
I am slightly concerned that throwing convenient eezo money at problems becomes the go to solution but I suppose that is actually accurate for how the real world works at times. It is a bit surprising though, that we havenāt seen him pop up on the radar of some of the big players; or are his activities in the big picture not yet truly noteworthy?
As a sidenote: I have read the story in one go up to this chapter and find it a bit difficult to keep track of how much time has actually passed for the protagonist. Would 4 months come close?
Anyway, I hope you keep writing and am looking forward to your next chapter!
1/8/2018 c16 Hendrik
Good work. One of the best fanfictions i have found so far.
Great ideas for the Plot and the characters.
I enjoy reading this fic, it is good and easy to read and i can not wait to read how this Story Goes on.
Good work. One of the best fanfictions i have found so far.
Great ideas for the Plot and the characters.
I enjoy reading this fic, it is good and easy to read and i can not wait to read how this Story Goes on.
1/9/2018 c16 Fruityloops87
I fully cracked up at the end of this chapter. The Krogen movie critic talking about Jurassic Park was amazing.
Now on to a more serious note
Your writing is phenomenal. Between the detailing you put into the characters, settings and dialogue it completely draws the reader in. I look forward to updates constantly. Keep up the good work.
I fully cracked up at the end of this chapter. The Krogen movie critic talking about Jurassic Park was amazing.
Now on to a more serious note
Your writing is phenomenal. Between the detailing you put into the characters, settings and dialogue it completely draws the reader in. I look forward to updates constantly. Keep up the good work.
1/1/2018 c16 lisbjerg123
i could totally see a mass effect version of an AA-12 having the drum part of the gun being a revolving thermal exhaust chamber with individual thermal clips going one by one through the gun itself and then going back into the drum to cool off that one shot.
i could totally see a mass effect version of an AA-12 having the drum part of the gun being a revolving thermal exhaust chamber with individual thermal clips going one by one through the gun itself and then going back into the drum to cool off that one shot.
12/27/2017 c16 sonic
I liked the chapter!1
I liked the chapter!1
12/27/2017 c16 Guest
Oc and tevos lemon plz
Oc and tevos lemon plz
12/26/2017 c16 ratatata
So not slash.
Thanks for clearing that whole Jason thing early.
Good read.
So not slash.
Thanks for clearing that whole Jason thing early.
Good read.
12/25/2017 c1 ratatatat
So slash? I'm out. Good luck though
So slash? I'm out. Good luck though
12/26/2017 c16 cybandeath
Good work so far! the krogan word in chapter 16 though is by far the best thing ive ever seen from a fictional newspaper XD
Good work so far! the krogan word in chapter 16 though is by far the best thing ive ever seen from a fictional newspaper XD
12/24/2017 c16 Guest
Si and tevos plz
Si and tevos plz
12/24/2017 c16 Xenozip
I love the idea of the different races watching human movies, especially the Krogan with Jurassic Park.
I love the idea of the different races watching human movies, especially the Krogan with Jurassic Park.
12/26/2017 c13 2MagicznyGosc
Just one more thing. There are more and more characters. It starts to be troublesome to keep tabs on every single one of them. A list of characters with simple description could be helpful. If you can edit chapters then it wouldn't be a problem to keep lists like that up to date.
Just one more thing. There are more and more characters. It starts to be troublesome to keep tabs on every single one of them. A list of characters with simple description could be helpful. If you can edit chapters then it wouldn't be a problem to keep lists like that up to date.
12/25/2017 c16 4halo is bad ass
Nice chapter. I've loved the story so far. I also have an Idea of what Shieldstar could do later on. Have them be a protection service for the human colonies. Making it cheap-ist so new colonies can have better protection from pirate raids. This would also let them own an army of there own
Also, you can have them work on a care for the genofase(i can't spell it to save my life). Not, the whole thing. He's my thought process on it. Make a cure that also changes the number of eggs they lay like 6 or 8 but have the frailty rates grow to near 100%. That way you can get the krogens on your side and save face from the STD and with a way to say that this will stop a second krogon rebellion and keep the species alive. Just my thoughts on that.
Nice chapter. I've loved the story so far. I also have an Idea of what Shieldstar could do later on. Have them be a protection service for the human colonies. Making it cheap-ist so new colonies can have better protection from pirate raids. This would also let them own an army of there own
Also, you can have them work on a care for the genofase(i can't spell it to save my life). Not, the whole thing. He's my thought process on it. Make a cure that also changes the number of eggs they lay like 6 or 8 but have the frailty rates grow to near 100%. That way you can get the krogens on your side and save face from the STD and with a way to say that this will stop a second krogon rebellion and keep the species alive. Just my thoughts on that.