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for Into the Wild: Reimagined

1/13/2018 c5 Ran
i like this! tigerclaw needs to chill tf out though, seriously. why is he always so intense? even lionheart is like, dude, stop? i love firepaw, lovely little boyo
1/12/2018 c1 55Wildebunny the Eternal
Non-story chapters aren't allowed. Please combine this chapter with another.
6/26/2017 c5 5mashfur
This entire story has been pretty good so far and I'm enjoying it. As this is a reimagining, I wonder what's going to change. Maybe Tigerstar has a more sympathetic motive, maybe Darkstripe actually kills Sorrelkit, maybe even certain characters live or die. I'm eagerly awaiting to see what's going to be changed.
6/26/2017 c2 mashfur
I like this new inexperienced, skittish Spottedleaf you've got going here. Plus the prophecy is done in such a way it's more mysterious- as it should be. Well done.
6/17/2017 c1 Morningheartstar
I am so glad I found you're story! I've been working on a personal project of my very own that I feel is very similar to what you are working on now with this story. I can't wait to see where you take things.
5/26/2017 c3 allith
My goodness, let me just say that this story made something click in my head. I've never been much a fan of biology or genetics, so when I read books where inbreeding either happens directly or is impossible to avoid, I normally laugh it off and shrug my shoulders. It's hard for me to imagine the politics that might come up because of it. I'm a master of modern affairs: economics and political scandal, not arts so old that they predate monarchy. This story really is a creative advancement that simply MAKES SENSE.

A few words of warning, however, because as much as I love this story I fear for its execution. Your writing isn't bad, in fact, your style is rather enjoyable. It echoes that of many YA authors and is simple enough that I could skim through it without missing anything. It leaves a lot for imagination. Perhaps not a cliché Warriors style (have you ever noticed how vividly they describe the first scene in all their books?) but that adds even more charm. Your writing style itself is fine.

The problem is one that is repeated over and over and over again, and it's the habit of repeating what happened in the books. I've already read Into the Wild, and I cannot see what anyone who has would've learnt from this chapter. Yes, you're rewriting this story, but if you only change one or two sentences for the first few chapters, then no one's going to be captivated. Start the story where you deviate from canon. Is there some point where Bluestar explains to Rusty about the inbreeding? Or is it discovered later on? Where does the story really become its own, instead of just a minor alteration of the main book series? That's where YOUR story starts. Trust in the Warriors fans to have read Into the Wild and the rest of the first arc (at least). We have already been introduced to the original Warriors world, so introduce us to YOURS.

Other than that, this is a really interesting concept and I don't doubt your ability as an author to execute it. It's really original, just keep that in mind, to apply the inbreeding concept to the main series (in fact, changing the main series starting at Into the Wild is rather rare nowadays). You're creating a new world and we want to know more about that world. I'm certainly going to follow the story! It seems really fun and, with a dash of science stirred in with it, I'm not sure what's not to love. If you'd like a more detailed opinion I'd happily PM you as well. This is one story I'd like to see get somewhere.
5/25/2017 c3 1SarahSarahBoBarah97
This is great!

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