Just In
for An Essence of Silver and Steel

4/10 c59 Guest
Your biggest weakness is definitely action, author. You do everything else rather well.
4/10 c56 Guest
On one hand, you actually managed to write a big battle scene completely right for the first time. On the other hand, this is a straight up and incredibly obvious knockoff of Shirou. On another hand, this is the second best chapter you wrote after Coil's timelines fuckery. On final hand, it still isn't good enough to warrant the obnoxious level of buildup you gave to it.

So overall I'm gonna give you a pass and a medium sized grats, author.
4/10 c55 Guest
The trick to art is not in the writing, author. It's in the stopping. Which you clearly don't know how to do. Whatever twist you've been preparing isn't worth the obnoxiousness of this level of buildup. You should've cut that shit in half, then it'd be overall acceptable even if your twist turned out to be something lame.
4/10 c54 Guest
An almost nonbad large fight scene. Except for the complete dumbassery of nobody even trying to find and stop the teleporter, this would've been your first actually good large battle. This is a pretty bad showing for the supposed top 3 heroes of the world. Everybody is clearly being idiots so Taylor will finally use the hyped forbidden install. Your hand is showing, author.
4/10 c53 Guest
I know it's too late to say it now, but you really should've stopped harping on that forbidden install thing. Anything will be a disappointment after talking it up this much, author. Especially any sort of alternateTaylor, that'll just be an obvious knockoff of Shirou.
4/10 c52 Guest
Finally someone calls out Taylor on her dumbassery. NotLisa is now your best character, author.
4/10 c51 Guest
Again, a nongood action scene. It was messy and hard to tell what exactly was going on with the clones. You need to work much harder on this.
4/10 c50 Guest
You keep harping on that "first install" thing too much, author. It's really hard to stick the landing if you hype something up this much, let's hope it won't be something lamely predictable (such as canonTaylor).
4/10 c49 Guest
The dumb teenager excuse is wearing thinner every time you use it, author. It may be realistic for a dumb teenager to stay a dumb teenager but a story protagonist is expected to learn.
4/10 c48 Guest
You're way better at alternate timelines fuckery than action sequences, author. By far. This is probably the best chapter you wrote so far in this story. Well done.
4/10 c47 Guest
The writing on this chapter is good but it's still badly plotted. This unnecessarily overpowered Taylor could've walked right in and beat up everyone as any random servant once Coil's base is known, and if Lisa and Amy insisted on coming along (which is completely pointless and risky) they could've just followed invisibly from a safe distance. For all their previous handwringing about the possible hostage, they did jack shit about it; no plans to rescue her first, no attempts to find her inside the base, not even checking if Coil had a gun to her head before busting down his door...

You're actually quite bad at planning out any action stuff, author, you only do the superpowered duels well. You should've worked harder at that.
4/10 c43 Guest
You remember there's like half a dozen archers that can nail Coil right this moment from there, author? Or how even the lamest of sabers/lancers/berserkers can just wade into his base and kick his ass? Because it seems like you don't. You should've limited her to either one servant per class or only one class of servants, this is too overpowered a protagonist to be dealing with anything less than endbringers. Teenager will only fly so long as an excuse for not stomping everything with Gilgamesh or whoever.
4/10 c40 Guest
Idiocy driven drama like this is acceptable when you're dealing with teenagers, author, and you did well to have adults involved doing something nonidiotic (but still shitty). Just don't make idiotballs a habit.
4/9 c34 Guest
Again, protip: Nobody likes flashbacks.
4/9 c33 Guest
Neat chapter (in theory), but not realizing your daughter (whose bestest bff just died) hasn't even opened her locked door for a week straight isn't exactly what you'd call good parenting, author. In fact, it'd be the complete opposite.

So you kinda failed at writing anything even remotely resembling a functional family here. Barnes was good in abstract though, so you had that going for you.
4,095 « Prev Page 1 .. 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 18 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service