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for Here with you

6/16/2017 c1 55wubbzy
I just want to say, YYYYAAAAAAYYYY!

Omg yasss haha! This was awesome! I'm so glad that you're still writing Advanceshipping! And better yet, you did a crossover with The Last of Us and Pokeomon. That is AWESOME! I'm really happy to see more like that (I wrote one just because I thought it would be fucking cool and I love that game), but like omggggg, I'm so happy someone else did! That is one of my favorite games so I was so happy when I saw you wrote this! :D Yay!

Okay, onto the actual writing! I really loved it! It was easy to read and easy to get through, it was really awesome how you wrote it. I can tell you improved in terms of descriptions, too! :D I was really impressed by your descriptions in the beginning, especially describing how Ash was feeling and the weather! You really set the scene I imagine when I think of The Last of us, so yeah, I really liked that aspect of this!

Yeah, I think Joel was a bit OOC, but that is fine haha. Don't worry about that. This was still incredibly well done! I really enjoyed it! :D Keep writing, you're definitely getting better and I look forward to seeing other stuff you write! :)
6/10/2017 c1 Guest
You did a great job! Please write more advanceshipping! :D
6/5/2017 c1 Guest
Oh my goodness so good! Keep writing please!
6/5/2017 c1 23St Elmo's Fire
[A crossover of Pokémon and my favorite video game]

Then it should be listed as a crossover.

Also, this belongs in the Anime world. Find your story under "Manage Stories" and select it from the dropdown menu that says "World: Any" in the "Category" section.

You're formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as ["Hello," she said] or ["Hello!" she said], never ["Hello." She said] or ["Hello", she said] or ["Hello" she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part iis/i considered a separate sentence, so it's written as ["Hello." She grinned], never ["Hello," she grinned]. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like "laughed" or "giggled" is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's ["Hi," she said. "This is it."] not ["Hi," she said, "this is it."] or ["Hi," she said "this is it."] And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's ["Hi. This," she said, "is it."] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don't use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story.

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