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for Some Days

12/18/2017 c1 69cmr2014
It's like you have looked into my soul.

Some days it's all at bay, some days not. Everything looks fine on the outside because it stays inside, never let them see you bleed, but even at the best there's always a level of hurt, good things never get all the way through to that deepest layer. Because of that, the smiles are never really in the eyes.
Almost eight years now, since the memories started, I haven't slept a full night twice in a row. Mostly I get a few hours and then bad memories say hello and I wake up and can't bear to go back through that again in the same night.
I duct tape myself together, whatever it takes to stay functional. That's The Job. Make it through a day at a time. Hour. Minute. Second at a time if you have to, but The Job is to make it through. Keep functioning. I'm here and she's not - no matter how much it should be the other way around, it's not - I have to live with that.

"Some days he controlled it and he was okay. Some days he thought he might actually be normal again or at least on the way there. Other days he knew he never could be...Some days that pistol in his desk drawer looked really tempting...Some days he boxed until his fingers were bruised and swollen...Some days the fear was unbearable."
Oh my God, you *have* looked into my soul.
6/10/2017 c1 Number Girl
All too often, I believe, this picture you've painted with your words is too true for Rogers. He's lost in a time not his own, fresh out of a war born straight from the pits of hell, grieving his best friend, and now many more he's discovered dead from old age... and he's a legend (que Tony Stark's quote "living legend who kinda' lives up to the legend". All people see is the suit and shield, even his teammates are guilty of this to an extent. He's no longer a man with ideas, but an ideal.
I'm going to be honest in that I don't agree with everything Captain Rogers does. He makes mistakes and does stupid stuff like the rest of us, but why shouldn't he? He's human too. He's allowed to get angry, to be hurt, to change his mind, to make his own decisions, to regret and cry and mourn and mope, to pick up and fight, to shout, to distrust and to trust of his own free will, to find happiness and hang on to it with all his might and not be expected to let go, etc... Not be shoved into a little box and be only what is expected.
I greatly appreciate this fic, because you seem to remember our good Captain is more than just a 'good ole boy' stereotype.
6/8/2017 c1 46The Urban Spaceman
Nice! Touching, and very poignant. Wasn't sure who this was going to be about, so it was nice to discover which of Our Heroes this story relates to.
6/8/2017 c1 Whitelion69
This is a very good one-shot.
6/8/2017 c1 242NotMarge
Oh, that's okay. I didn't need my soul anyhow.

Excellent writing, by the way!

*Laids in corner, sucks thumb, bawls hysterically*

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