for In The Aftermath Of A Fire4/1/2021 c6 jn208505
This was FANTASTIC! Really enjoyed the story, the emotion, the family interaction. You captured everything incredibly. Very well done!
This was FANTASTIC! Really enjoyed the story, the emotion, the family interaction. You captured everything incredibly. Very well done!
7/6/2019 c1 kirsten
more miles getting hit in front of the twins
more miles getting hit in front of the twins
11/24/2017 c6 
4OkuntinTenfeder
So, that sounds more like an real end. :) Bringing up family therapy was a good point. Can't say anything else but that I like it!
4OkuntinTenfederSo, that sounds more like an real end. :) Bringing up family therapy was a good point. Can't say anything else but that I like it!
9/23/2017 c5 Frankston
I'm having a really hard time coming up with more to write, because you did such a good job :D writing Hunter seems to come as easily to you as Frankie and Miles now. If there was one thing I wasn't sure about, it's that one or two lines of Diana's made me feel like she was a little too pleading with Miles for forgiveness, BUT I also felt you addressed her change in tone well through Miles' thoughts. He was as shocked as I was to see his mother show vulnerability in front of him: we actually get to see her at that crossroads between the aloof, condescending parent she was when we first met her, on her way to being the more nurturing yet still stern mother we see in Next Class.
Not gonna lie, glad to hear there's gonna be an epilogue too - partly because it would have felt abrupt to see it end here, but also because I'm gonna miss this story!
I'm having a really hard time coming up with more to write, because you did such a good job :D writing Hunter seems to come as easily to you as Frankie and Miles now. If there was one thing I wasn't sure about, it's that one or two lines of Diana's made me feel like she was a little too pleading with Miles for forgiveness, BUT I also felt you addressed her change in tone well through Miles' thoughts. He was as shocked as I was to see his mother show vulnerability in front of him: we actually get to see her at that crossroads between the aloof, condescending parent she was when we first met her, on her way to being the more nurturing yet still stern mother we see in Next Class.
Not gonna lie, glad to hear there's gonna be an epilogue too - partly because it would have felt abrupt to see it end here, but also because I'm gonna miss this story!
9/19/2017 c5 OkuntinTenfeder
Very well done. You get all three of them right. The thing that rang the most to me, was that Frankie still could seek comfort in her mothers arms, while Miles couldnt because she didnt protect him. But youre right: An epilogue is really needed here. Looking forward to it. :)
Very well done. You get all three of them right. The thing that rang the most to me, was that Frankie still could seek comfort in her mothers arms, while Miles couldnt because she didnt protect him. But youre right: An epilogue is really needed here. Looking forward to it. :)
7/28/2017 c4 Frankston
With how much time we see Winston (and half the Degrassi cast) at the Hollingsworth mansion, I was wondering if Winston even had his own house or if he lived in their basement :P Seriously though, glad to see lightning strike again - terrific job this chapter! I think you've found your footing with Hunter, and I enjoyed seeing them tilt just a little bit back towards their teasing, personal-space conscious selves like with Miles' "get out of my room" after they spent the last night cuddled up together in front of the TV!
Diana's response, again, was just perfect and Miles being so upset with her was totally understandable: talking about kicking out their dad and bringing up divorce in one sentence, then telling them she's on her way to the polls to play perfect wife in the next. I loved Frankie's part in this chapter as much as last, I especially enjoyed seeing you foreshadow her Next Class antics - from Hunter's innocent note that Frankie DEFINITELY doesn't share his concern about personal space, to Frankie obsessively tracking Miles down to Winston's house to "fix" her past slip-up.
If there's one thing I wasn't sure about (like was mentioned before), it's whether Miles' dad would have hit him before. At least from what I remembered of the show, they did act like it was the first time...though I suppose it could have happened way back, or not been as the incidents we did see. Hunter gets pretty emotional talking about his dad, so I could chalk it up to perspective...don't let that small doubt take away from how awesome this chapter was, though! And so, I join the chorus of "I want Chapter 5!" XD if the next one is the finale, I can't wait to see it!
With how much time we see Winston (and half the Degrassi cast) at the Hollingsworth mansion, I was wondering if Winston even had his own house or if he lived in their basement :P Seriously though, glad to see lightning strike again - terrific job this chapter! I think you've found your footing with Hunter, and I enjoyed seeing them tilt just a little bit back towards their teasing, personal-space conscious selves like with Miles' "get out of my room" after they spent the last night cuddled up together in front of the TV!
Diana's response, again, was just perfect and Miles being so upset with her was totally understandable: talking about kicking out their dad and bringing up divorce in one sentence, then telling them she's on her way to the polls to play perfect wife in the next. I loved Frankie's part in this chapter as much as last, I especially enjoyed seeing you foreshadow her Next Class antics - from Hunter's innocent note that Frankie DEFINITELY doesn't share his concern about personal space, to Frankie obsessively tracking Miles down to Winston's house to "fix" her past slip-up.
If there's one thing I wasn't sure about (like was mentioned before), it's whether Miles' dad would have hit him before. At least from what I remembered of the show, they did act like it was the first time...though I suppose it could have happened way back, or not been as the incidents we did see. Hunter gets pretty emotional talking about his dad, so I could chalk it up to perspective...don't let that small doubt take away from how awesome this chapter was, though! And so, I join the chorus of "I want Chapter 5!" XD if the next one is the finale, I can't wait to see it!
7/28/2017 c2 Frankston
Solid follow-up! I'll start with minor criticism first: Hunter was still just a LITTLE more touchy-feely than I would have expected him from the show. I get where you were coming from though: they're still reeling from a horrible experience and they can only count on each other. Even if I'm still not sure he'd be as expressive towards Frankie as you showed him, he did feel a little more in-character, ESPECIALLY with "he doesn't want to kill you anymore." As much of a Hunter reaction if there was one!
Besides that, there were moments I wish we'd actually seen Miles lines, like how he'd explain his role in starting the fire and even a glimpse at his conversation with Mr. Simpson. It did feel a little jarring to just skip them over entirely (though I understand a school scene isn't totally plot-critical, and if English isn't your first language I can understand stepping around that). My favorite part of the story though, had to be that middle. I totally forgot about the letter that Miles wrote to his brother and sister so I'm REALLY glad they both got to read it. My favorite scene was Miles coming clean to Frankie about being the one who started the fire: you had me guessing whether she'd scream or forgive him right away, yet Frankie being uncharacteristically quiet and (unintentionally) torturing Miles as she struggles with what he said, even when he comes back from his meeting...it felt like just how she'd react.
Course I have to admit, I feel like the star of the show was Mr. H! It's just like him to go about his morning like the last (two?) days never happened, make it all about himself again and invite Frankie along. And then see him blow up when Frankie and Miles talk back to him, telling Frankie to shut up and dragging Miles into his study (and of course that ending...) you really got that scene exactly right. You definitely upped your ante!
Solid follow-up! I'll start with minor criticism first: Hunter was still just a LITTLE more touchy-feely than I would have expected him from the show. I get where you were coming from though: they're still reeling from a horrible experience and they can only count on each other. Even if I'm still not sure he'd be as expressive towards Frankie as you showed him, he did feel a little more in-character, ESPECIALLY with "he doesn't want to kill you anymore." As much of a Hunter reaction if there was one!
Besides that, there were moments I wish we'd actually seen Miles lines, like how he'd explain his role in starting the fire and even a glimpse at his conversation with Mr. Simpson. It did feel a little jarring to just skip them over entirely (though I understand a school scene isn't totally plot-critical, and if English isn't your first language I can understand stepping around that). My favorite part of the story though, had to be that middle. I totally forgot about the letter that Miles wrote to his brother and sister so I'm REALLY glad they both got to read it. My favorite scene was Miles coming clean to Frankie about being the one who started the fire: you had me guessing whether she'd scream or forgive him right away, yet Frankie being uncharacteristically quiet and (unintentionally) torturing Miles as she struggles with what he said, even when he comes back from his meeting...it felt like just how she'd react.
Course I have to admit, I feel like the star of the show was Mr. H! It's just like him to go about his morning like the last (two?) days never happened, make it all about himself again and invite Frankie along. And then see him blow up when Frankie and Miles talk back to him, telling Frankie to shut up and dragging Miles into his study (and of course that ending...) you really got that scene exactly right. You definitely upped your ante!
7/27/2017 c3 5metalgear
This was definitely my favorite chapter so far :) I think it benefitted a lot from the focus on one character's thoughts and feelings, compared to jumping back and forth like you said before. You proved that you could write Frankie as well as you wrote Miles, and I'm especially happy to say: I thought Hunter was also spot-on this chapter. I always saw him as someone who clearly loves his siblings but is very awkward about showing his affection: from his dumbfounded "you OK?" response (and the look Frankie gave him) to retreating into movie night, Frankie making a note that it's not like him to be cuddly, and finally just silently being there for Frankie as she cracked. That she tried holding herself together for Miles even as she's falling apart herself was touching, and it does fit the Frankie we see on the show...even if her habit of giving advice she's not qualified to give is more often shown as a character fault. Last but not least, Mrs. H may have had a small scene but she left quite an impact, really well-done on her part!
This whole chapter was great, start to finish - you really got a handle of all the characters now. Can't wait to see how it ends!
5metalgearThis was definitely my favorite chapter so far :) I think it benefitted a lot from the focus on one character's thoughts and feelings, compared to jumping back and forth like you said before. You proved that you could write Frankie as well as you wrote Miles, and I'm especially happy to say: I thought Hunter was also spot-on this chapter. I always saw him as someone who clearly loves his siblings but is very awkward about showing his affection: from his dumbfounded "you OK?" response (and the look Frankie gave him) to retreating into movie night, Frankie making a note that it's not like him to be cuddly, and finally just silently being there for Frankie as she cracked. That she tried holding herself together for Miles even as she's falling apart herself was touching, and it does fit the Frankie we see on the show...even if her habit of giving advice she's not qualified to give is more often shown as a character fault. Last but not least, Mrs. H may have had a small scene but she left quite an impact, really well-done on her part!
This whole chapter was great, start to finish - you really got a handle of all the characters now. Can't wait to see how it ends!
7/26/2017 c1 Frankston
From the end of Firestarter Part 2 to Frankie asking Winston to kiss her so she could forget about her "dumb parents and their dumb divorce" the following episode, I always wondered what happened in between. I'm a big Hollingsworth fan too: Frankie's easily my favorite Degrassi character in a long time and her brothers aren't far behind, so your story is a treat for me! I felt you got so much right about the characters. Just a few of the lines that stood out the most for me were:
-Frankie's tearful "Dad didn't even ask if I was OK" and being so distraught when their father slapped her olive branch away, which she offered even as he was the one clearly in the wrong.
-Mr. Hollingsworth referring to "the prodigal children," asking them if they were proud of embarrassing him with the stunt they pulled, and twisting the knife even more by telling Frankie she wasn't the daughter he thought she was. Ouch...just the reaction I expected from him, that even after what Frankie and his two sons just went through he drags them through the mud even more.
-Miles' "are you kidding me?!" reaction to their dad calling Frankie a disappointment was spot-on, as was Miles wishing he could be someone else, someone who could cheer Frankie up. Like your past one-shot showed, I think you're especially gifted at writing Miles.
-And of course, Diana trying to hold the middle ground throughout the scene, coming down hard on the kids at first (though not as hard as her husband) but cutting them off when Mr. H went at it with Miles again. I think Mrs. Hollingsworth is a hard character to get just right and I think you succeeded.
The character I do have to give you a more mixed review on - though others said this too - is Hunter. There were some moments I felt were in-character for him, like Hunter's moments of bluntness where he brings up dad hitting Miles again at the start, and when he describes the scene to Frankie matter-of-fact while Miles struggles so hard to talk about it. But I did feel like Hunter was too gushy in some places, and I'm not so sure about the Twintuition (intuition) between him and Frankie being quite so strong. I felt there were a lot of moments on the show where they just don't get each other, at least no more than a typical brother and sister. But I did enjoy the ending...as much as I see Hunter groaning over Frankie's choice of show on the inside XD
This was so well-written, I'd feel bad if it was a one-shot...so you can imagine how happy I am to see there's more! Reviews on the rest coming soon :)
From the end of Firestarter Part 2 to Frankie asking Winston to kiss her so she could forget about her "dumb parents and their dumb divorce" the following episode, I always wondered what happened in between. I'm a big Hollingsworth fan too: Frankie's easily my favorite Degrassi character in a long time and her brothers aren't far behind, so your story is a treat for me! I felt you got so much right about the characters. Just a few of the lines that stood out the most for me were:
-Frankie's tearful "Dad didn't even ask if I was OK" and being so distraught when their father slapped her olive branch away, which she offered even as he was the one clearly in the wrong.
-Mr. Hollingsworth referring to "the prodigal children," asking them if they were proud of embarrassing him with the stunt they pulled, and twisting the knife even more by telling Frankie she wasn't the daughter he thought she was. Ouch...just the reaction I expected from him, that even after what Frankie and his two sons just went through he drags them through the mud even more.
-Miles' "are you kidding me?!" reaction to their dad calling Frankie a disappointment was spot-on, as was Miles wishing he could be someone else, someone who could cheer Frankie up. Like your past one-shot showed, I think you're especially gifted at writing Miles.
-And of course, Diana trying to hold the middle ground throughout the scene, coming down hard on the kids at first (though not as hard as her husband) but cutting them off when Mr. H went at it with Miles again. I think Mrs. Hollingsworth is a hard character to get just right and I think you succeeded.
The character I do have to give you a more mixed review on - though others said this too - is Hunter. There were some moments I felt were in-character for him, like Hunter's moments of bluntness where he brings up dad hitting Miles again at the start, and when he describes the scene to Frankie matter-of-fact while Miles struggles so hard to talk about it. But I did feel like Hunter was too gushy in some places, and I'm not so sure about the Twintuition (intuition) between him and Frankie being quite so strong. I felt there were a lot of moments on the show where they just don't get each other, at least no more than a typical brother and sister. But I did enjoy the ending...as much as I see Hunter groaning over Frankie's choice of show on the inside XD
This was so well-written, I'd feel bad if it was a one-shot...so you can imagine how happy I am to see there's more! Reviews on the rest coming soon :)
7/24/2017 c4 Lilly
I love this chapter. You got everything right. I especially bought Frankie's actions when pushing Miles and tracking him down at Winston's house. Given her meddling in Hunter's relationship in Next Class and her extreme behavior with Jonah, I thinks it's realistic that she would be adamant about finding out the truth and "fixing it." I would love to see how the family eventually ends up in family therapy, as mentioned at the end of 14, and more of Miles' perspective. Keep up the great work!
I love this chapter. You got everything right. I especially bought Frankie's actions when pushing Miles and tracking him down at Winston's house. Given her meddling in Hunter's relationship in Next Class and her extreme behavior with Jonah, I thinks it's realistic that she would be adamant about finding out the truth and "fixing it." I would love to see how the family eventually ends up in family therapy, as mentioned at the end of 14, and more of Miles' perspective. Keep up the great work!
7/22/2017 c4 4OkuntinTenfeder
Good to have the next chapter. :) Hunters part is well done - as is everything else. I think in the show its actually meant to be the first time Miles was hit by his father - the violence was on a psychological only level before - but I count that as writers freedom. :)
4OkuntinTenfederGood to have the next chapter. :) Hunters part is well done - as is everything else. I think in the show its actually meant to be the first time Miles was hit by his father - the violence was on a psychological only level before - but I count that as writers freedom. :)
7/22/2017 c4 Guest
Great story!
Great story!
7/15/2017 c1 Guest
Where are you? This story is so good! I need more!
Where are you? This story is so good! I need more!