for The White Knights' Journey8/21/2018 c50 
2Kasuyorai
It's been a while.
And it is not all perfect (especially thinking about Micheal & Lucifer's part here... but then again, maybe just spending time together and having something else to take their frustrations out on might be just right for them, who knows), nonetheless you found a very sweet and satisfying way to end this big project.
I had thought it might be a little more focused on Sam, depending on how the story was in earlier parts, but you did shift the focus away to Dean (and Micheal) later, so it's not all that surprising.
And it will even be a nice story to come back to read again sometime.
Hope you'll continue to enjoy writing.
2KasuyoraiIt's been a while.
And it is not all perfect (especially thinking about Micheal & Lucifer's part here... but then again, maybe just spending time together and having something else to take their frustrations out on might be just right for them, who knows), nonetheless you found a very sweet and satisfying way to end this big project.
I had thought it might be a little more focused on Sam, depending on how the story was in earlier parts, but you did shift the focus away to Dean (and Micheal) later, so it's not all that surprising.
And it will even be a nice story to come back to read again sometime.
Hope you'll continue to enjoy writing.
3/20/2018 c45 3Rutvi
Intense. Intense. And Michael!Sam never saw that one. Excited to read Lucifer and Michael together and to top it off Lucifer's reaction!
3RutviIntense. Intense. And Michael!Sam never saw that one. Excited to read Lucifer and Michael together and to top it off Lucifer's reaction!
12/16/2017 c39 Rutvi
Good chapter, now I am waiting Micheal and their conversation. God I do hope you update soon.!
Good chapter, now I am waiting Micheal and their conversation. God I do hope you update soon.!
12/11/2017 c38 2Kasuyorai
Whoa, you’re really getting into that Megstiel ship. It’s... surprisingly cuter than I thought it would be - in a ‘good for them’ kind of way.
Thanks for reminding me though, that she would, kinda, later, (but somehow earlier too) be my type. Looks wise, at least. ...
No. I don’t mean that. I actually want to continue disliking her, though it is a case of not-liking more than hate or anything extreme like that. It’s self-defense.
I was curious what you were going to do with the time travel. I have to say, so far I like the solution.
...And I was kinda ignoring past Gabe. Ouch. Totally with Sam on the shouldn’t have called part. But, it very much reason is there, and the means, on both sides. Which totally doesn’t sound like taken from a crime show. In character, too.
Really accurate about pouty ken-dolls, as well xD (as far as I can tell)
But, pizza, Gabe, really? And an outfit like that, too. Why do you have to enjoy Casa Erotica so much...
It is no ‘pizza man’, I haven’t the slightest idea when those were supposed to be published in canon and Sam doesn’t have that specific trauma here, but still. Worst of it all: it fits so well, I couldn’t imagine it otherwise now that you’ve done it.
So - love it.
I hope you’ll continue to enjoy writing~
2KasuyoraiWhoa, you’re really getting into that Megstiel ship. It’s... surprisingly cuter than I thought it would be - in a ‘good for them’ kind of way.
Thanks for reminding me though, that she would, kinda, later, (but somehow earlier too) be my type. Looks wise, at least. ...
No. I don’t mean that. I actually want to continue disliking her, though it is a case of not-liking more than hate or anything extreme like that. It’s self-defense.
I was curious what you were going to do with the time travel. I have to say, so far I like the solution.
...And I was kinda ignoring past Gabe. Ouch. Totally with Sam on the shouldn’t have called part. But, it very much reason is there, and the means, on both sides. Which totally doesn’t sound like taken from a crime show. In character, too.
Really accurate about pouty ken-dolls, as well xD (as far as I can tell)
But, pizza, Gabe, really? And an outfit like that, too. Why do you have to enjoy Casa Erotica so much...
It is no ‘pizza man’, I haven’t the slightest idea when those were supposed to be published in canon and Sam doesn’t have that specific trauma here, but still. Worst of it all: it fits so well, I couldn’t imagine it otherwise now that you’ve done it.
So - love it.
I hope you’ll continue to enjoy writing~
11/29/2017 c37 Kasuyorai
xD that has to be ... jep, the first chapter title that made me laugh like that. But, noted. I won't. (returning to reading now - I didn't skip, merely chose here for writing)
By the way, ugly motel clocks (35) - I don't have much of a ground for comparison, but I feel you should instead be thankful, if there are any at all in a building like that. I still remember how my class had to get one each time we moved to a new classroom... - and that school had some basic care level. I feel it would be even more of a problem in seedy motels, for some reason.
But - onwards. Poor 36 didn't even get a title.
I was momentarily confused with the beginning, but I thank you for the recap. It was a bit difficult to piece together the chapter before. It worked, mind you, but needed reading twice.
I get Dean's guilt, somewhat. But it's not his fault, neither of those times. Sam would have turned his back. Maybe not as early and with or without closer investigation, I cannot say. But he had no intention of killing Jake and you just can't stand there and watch him the whole time. Be it only to look for something to tie him up with - Jake would've had his opportunity. (Jake's fault)
The explosion was part of a plan they all agreed to. And sometimes you just can't see children rushing out of corners. It happens. Pretty regularly. Not that you're not mean for doing that. (It probably sounds heartless, especially for people who lost someone that way, but: No one's fault, pretty much. Or everyone's, but never just one party. Not from a reparation perspective, that may be different, but the 'reason' it happened. In Germany, legally the line is at 10 yrs old, do you know how it is in France, or the USA?).
That aside, Jo and Dean are still very sweet - while not being able to answer your sweatheart is not optimal, showing them is probably the next best thing.
And I love Dean's reaction to anything connected to Lucifer. Someone's gotta be the healthy one. Because no matter how I like Sam and Lucifer, too, healthy it is not. Mostly, at least, except maybe physical. I remember there being a deliberate difference in the series, though: Djinn are the tattooed things that trap people in dreams and suck them out, the magical three wishes after freeing were from a Genie - regardless of the existence of the latter, was that later? You would think supernatural beings were exact with that sort of thing. ...But children's tales are not, I guess.
So the plan is slowly coming together. Let's see where it goes (I won't say it's a good one - Not that I have any better ideas...). Point in case, Dean is one thing but (outside of dreams) Sam really won't be able to talk to Micheal without a vessel for the latter. Of course, no matter the technicalities, they would have to get his attention. But *killing* the parents they have missed for quite some time now? I "might" be able to see that in one of Sam's icecold bloodrages, but what would Mary do to deserve that? The acting involved - Sam would love to know her, and that's not even starting on Dean. Or any revival abilities of (arch)angels. Or time paradoxes. I really don't see this other "win" working out (and I stand by that I wouldn't wish isolation upon anyone - and Lucifer is trying to have an open mind). Not that it would likely matter anyways, with the goal of "talking".
It's nice to see Loki's kids introduced, even with wondering how at least half of them ended up in purgatory - between the 'official' banishments and other. Though Sleipnir inherited the ability to travel between dimensions, if I remember correctly?
And now I feel sorry for Cas again. Though if it works out like that time with Anna (Cas collapsing) then MAYBE they will look after him a little more. ...Still frustrated about that. Especially with the other extreme from S11 fresh in my mind ('Oh no, don't do anything to help, you won't be able to, and we don't want you to strain yourself' - Nothing but the perfect thing to say/imply to a guardian, as you put it). Sigh. The Winchesters have to be pretty much the most difficult charges... since the beginning of times.
Yes, I was a little worried with that lack of a chapter, but then there are two now? Wow. But please take care not to overwork yourself. I hope you'll continue to enjoy writing.
xD that has to be ... jep, the first chapter title that made me laugh like that. But, noted. I won't. (returning to reading now - I didn't skip, merely chose here for writing)
By the way, ugly motel clocks (35) - I don't have much of a ground for comparison, but I feel you should instead be thankful, if there are any at all in a building like that. I still remember how my class had to get one each time we moved to a new classroom... - and that school had some basic care level. I feel it would be even more of a problem in seedy motels, for some reason.
But - onwards. Poor 36 didn't even get a title.
I was momentarily confused with the beginning, but I thank you for the recap. It was a bit difficult to piece together the chapter before. It worked, mind you, but needed reading twice.
I get Dean's guilt, somewhat. But it's not his fault, neither of those times. Sam would have turned his back. Maybe not as early and with or without closer investigation, I cannot say. But he had no intention of killing Jake and you just can't stand there and watch him the whole time. Be it only to look for something to tie him up with - Jake would've had his opportunity. (Jake's fault)
The explosion was part of a plan they all agreed to. And sometimes you just can't see children rushing out of corners. It happens. Pretty regularly. Not that you're not mean for doing that. (It probably sounds heartless, especially for people who lost someone that way, but: No one's fault, pretty much. Or everyone's, but never just one party. Not from a reparation perspective, that may be different, but the 'reason' it happened. In Germany, legally the line is at 10 yrs old, do you know how it is in France, or the USA?).
That aside, Jo and Dean are still very sweet - while not being able to answer your sweatheart is not optimal, showing them is probably the next best thing.
And I love Dean's reaction to anything connected to Lucifer. Someone's gotta be the healthy one. Because no matter how I like Sam and Lucifer, too, healthy it is not. Mostly, at least, except maybe physical. I remember there being a deliberate difference in the series, though: Djinn are the tattooed things that trap people in dreams and suck them out, the magical three wishes after freeing were from a Genie - regardless of the existence of the latter, was that later? You would think supernatural beings were exact with that sort of thing. ...But children's tales are not, I guess.
So the plan is slowly coming together. Let's see where it goes (I won't say it's a good one - Not that I have any better ideas...). Point in case, Dean is one thing but (outside of dreams) Sam really won't be able to talk to Micheal without a vessel for the latter. Of course, no matter the technicalities, they would have to get his attention. But *killing* the parents they have missed for quite some time now? I "might" be able to see that in one of Sam's icecold bloodrages, but what would Mary do to deserve that? The acting involved - Sam would love to know her, and that's not even starting on Dean. Or any revival abilities of (arch)angels. Or time paradoxes. I really don't see this other "win" working out (and I stand by that I wouldn't wish isolation upon anyone - and Lucifer is trying to have an open mind). Not that it would likely matter anyways, with the goal of "talking".
It's nice to see Loki's kids introduced, even with wondering how at least half of them ended up in purgatory - between the 'official' banishments and other. Though Sleipnir inherited the ability to travel between dimensions, if I remember correctly?
And now I feel sorry for Cas again. Though if it works out like that time with Anna (Cas collapsing) then MAYBE they will look after him a little more. ...Still frustrated about that. Especially with the other extreme from S11 fresh in my mind ('Oh no, don't do anything to help, you won't be able to, and we don't want you to strain yourself' - Nothing but the perfect thing to say/imply to a guardian, as you put it). Sigh. The Winchesters have to be pretty much the most difficult charges... since the beginning of times.
Yes, I was a little worried with that lack of a chapter, but then there are two now? Wow. But please take care not to overwork yourself. I hope you'll continue to enjoy writing.
11/20/2017 c17 Guest
what what? why are they leaving marks on the ground? i have no idea what their plan is but hope it works lol
what what? why are they leaving marks on the ground? i have no idea what their plan is but hope it works lol
11/3/2017 c34 Kasuyorai
Whoa, I'm ...really punctual this time. Mostly a coincidence, though. And so much happened here, too. It's also Sam's point of view again! I missed him.
About Brady: I really liked his part in the past chapter(s). *cough* I do have to point out you've been calling him "Bradley" this chapter. Intentional..?
I see you pretty much skipped Leah (providing you won't do another part on Cas and Meg dealing with her). Shame, that, but I guess it doesn't fit with the focus right here and if I want to have that episode, there are plenty of options.
Personally, I enjoy the mentions of the other couples, but I can't imagine Sam "never" saying anything about Dean and Jo... He might not be in the right state of mind at the moment and/or the situation not stable enough, but why dismiss such perfect teasing material?
...Congratulations on making me cry. And smile in spite of that. "Dean's faith could make the world spin backwards if he wanted to." is a beautiful line at that moment. And it says pretty much everything - hope and despair.
And of course Dean would think about the car. It should be white. That's the colour of the first horse (Death's is pale, not white, kinda beige in the series; War's is red; Famine's is black) - but he probably wouldn't remember that part of Joh,6. It's not necessarily "Pestilence" in there though. But that's more of a problem within the main series.
Also - Quick should be doable, but clean...? With Pestilence? Good luck trying.
...So, that is still a bit fragmented, but a lot more coherent than I thought it would be. I hope you continue to enjoy writing.
Whoa, I'm ...really punctual this time. Mostly a coincidence, though. And so much happened here, too. It's also Sam's point of view again! I missed him.
About Brady: I really liked his part in the past chapter(s). *cough* I do have to point out you've been calling him "Bradley" this chapter. Intentional..?
I see you pretty much skipped Leah (providing you won't do another part on Cas and Meg dealing with her). Shame, that, but I guess it doesn't fit with the focus right here and if I want to have that episode, there are plenty of options.
Personally, I enjoy the mentions of the other couples, but I can't imagine Sam "never" saying anything about Dean and Jo... He might not be in the right state of mind at the moment and/or the situation not stable enough, but why dismiss such perfect teasing material?
...Congratulations on making me cry. And smile in spite of that. "Dean's faith could make the world spin backwards if he wanted to." is a beautiful line at that moment. And it says pretty much everything - hope and despair.
And of course Dean would think about the car. It should be white. That's the colour of the first horse (Death's is pale, not white, kinda beige in the series; War's is red; Famine's is black) - but he probably wouldn't remember that part of Joh,6. It's not necessarily "Pestilence" in there though. But that's more of a problem within the main series.
Also - Quick should be doable, but clean...? With Pestilence? Good luck trying.
...So, that is still a bit fragmented, but a lot more coherent than I thought it would be. I hope you continue to enjoy writing.
10/11/2017 c30 Kasuyorai
... No, I'm sorry to say I haven't checked the chapter titles. Well, maybe not all that much, but I don't understand them (because they're French and mine extends to maybe ten words and what I can derive from Latin or English... it's so bad I wouldn't even say it exists), and am more into instrumental music at the moment. So, sorry not sorry. But I'm sure they're all very good songs. Are you using them as individual inspiration too?
I have to say, with all the knowledge it IS a little frustrating to have Sam be so close to the truth/solution with his "vaccine" note, but it just isn't all that realistic to come up with it all completely on his own. Not the first or second thing you would think of - Pestilence (while I don't enjoy thinking about him, he's gross) rather has my respect for the plan even if it was (is) too easily thwarted in that particular phase "just before shipping". It's evil and brilliant.
This chapter, I throughly enjoyed. Both the beginning and the end are very sweet, it's nice to hear from Cas again, even if it's just a little bit.
Lucifer as always is his own strange mix. I somewhat like him, and love it when he manages to enjoy himself (maybe something about 'finally, after all that time of isolation' - that's the closest explanation I can come up with at the moment), but at the same time he completely terrifies me. Not all that many things from the series do anymore.
On that note, I found a place to watch season 11 (only), so I did. While I still had time. Now the new semester has started, and my mondays are full, so I'll have to see when I get around to reading your new chapters.
Well, back on topic, the chat in the dream manages to capture the sincere part of him pretty well. I did not get the impression that the angels in dreams had such a direct line to thoughts, but then again, spoken language and thoughts are probably a lot closer when it's all in your head. Some reactions were a bit unexpected, but can be explained easily within this story.
The research room part I can really see, and it's a lot of fun. Trust a brain in focused mode to just blurt out what would be a bombshell for Dean. Sam probably didn't even properly register that part. Just gave an absentminded explanation.
Hope you continue to enjoy writing.
... No, I'm sorry to say I haven't checked the chapter titles. Well, maybe not all that much, but I don't understand them (because they're French and mine extends to maybe ten words and what I can derive from Latin or English... it's so bad I wouldn't even say it exists), and am more into instrumental music at the moment. So, sorry not sorry. But I'm sure they're all very good songs. Are you using them as individual inspiration too?
I have to say, with all the knowledge it IS a little frustrating to have Sam be so close to the truth/solution with his "vaccine" note, but it just isn't all that realistic to come up with it all completely on his own. Not the first or second thing you would think of - Pestilence (while I don't enjoy thinking about him, he's gross) rather has my respect for the plan even if it was (is) too easily thwarted in that particular phase "just before shipping". It's evil and brilliant.
This chapter, I throughly enjoyed. Both the beginning and the end are very sweet, it's nice to hear from Cas again, even if it's just a little bit.
Lucifer as always is his own strange mix. I somewhat like him, and love it when he manages to enjoy himself (maybe something about 'finally, after all that time of isolation' - that's the closest explanation I can come up with at the moment), but at the same time he completely terrifies me. Not all that many things from the series do anymore.
On that note, I found a place to watch season 11 (only), so I did. While I still had time. Now the new semester has started, and my mondays are full, so I'll have to see when I get around to reading your new chapters.
Well, back on topic, the chat in the dream manages to capture the sincere part of him pretty well. I did not get the impression that the angels in dreams had such a direct line to thoughts, but then again, spoken language and thoughts are probably a lot closer when it's all in your head. Some reactions were a bit unexpected, but can be explained easily within this story.
The research room part I can really see, and it's a lot of fun. Trust a brain in focused mode to just blurt out what would be a bombshell for Dean. Sam probably didn't even properly register that part. Just gave an absentminded explanation.
Hope you continue to enjoy writing.
9/18/2017 c28 Kasuyorai
*bursts out laughing* Okay, I won't lie, my first thought about that (in the last chapter) was: "Can't we call Lucifer and do something about it?"
... Yeah. You know why it was discarded again (pretty quickly, but with some regrets)? Because 'Luci' is off the board right now. And it was promised to him that they would look for another way. To call him back now to "raid" heaven, when it's exactly that they wanted to avoid in the first place would not only be selfish (calling someone else to fix your problems) and admitting a complete defeat, but betraying Gabriel's wishes as well. Not that that makes it any easier of a decision, especially with Gabriel (possibly) getting hurt. Nor any less a problem that Lucifer would probably want to know about.
Well, who knows. Depending on the stakes, Sam is not really someone to be squirmish about methods. (*cough* And that whole thing was totally not changed to third person after writing xD) I personally hope that the support of friends will be somewhat grounding.
I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the Dean and Jo conversation - even made me laugh a little, within the generally different mood of the story right now. I think you're doing pretty well so far with the hurt.
So thank you for uploading again before those two weeks, I wish you a lovely holiday and hope you continue to enjoy writing.
*bursts out laughing* Okay, I won't lie, my first thought about that (in the last chapter) was: "Can't we call Lucifer and do something about it?"
... Yeah. You know why it was discarded again (pretty quickly, but with some regrets)? Because 'Luci' is off the board right now. And it was promised to him that they would look for another way. To call him back now to "raid" heaven, when it's exactly that they wanted to avoid in the first place would not only be selfish (calling someone else to fix your problems) and admitting a complete defeat, but betraying Gabriel's wishes as well. Not that that makes it any easier of a decision, especially with Gabriel (possibly) getting hurt. Nor any less a problem that Lucifer would probably want to know about.
Well, who knows. Depending on the stakes, Sam is not really someone to be squirmish about methods. (*cough* And that whole thing was totally not changed to third person after writing xD) I personally hope that the support of friends will be somewhat grounding.
I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the Dean and Jo conversation - even made me laugh a little, within the generally different mood of the story right now. I think you're doing pretty well so far with the hurt.
So thank you for uploading again before those two weeks, I wish you a lovely holiday and hope you continue to enjoy writing.
9/10/2017 c27 Kasuyorai
... Wow. I don't think that was the intention, but you nearly made me cry. Still not seeing all that properly. Good chapter.
Gabriel is someone who pretty much always and playfully does what he wants to, as long as he doesn't see it as pointless. Someone like that shouldn't be caged. Ever.
...Though if it means he lives, I'll probably take it. With a bit of protest. Somehow I totally ignored how much heaven must consider him a traitor now. Or rather, the consequences of that, so it's good you thought about it. Maybe he can find out some things. I really liked that introspection on his part, too.
I see now what you meant with difficult. That weird mixture of worry, impatience, focus, rage and quite possibly guilt would not be the most stable state of mind. Like hypersensitivity, but everything being blurred at the same time. Dean's perspective is a nice choice, he knows enough about Sam to give at least a bit of insight there, and he adds some things too (I am positive that Sam hardly notices Jo is even there at the moment).
Not changing the plan - ouch. But it is much like the scenario with Lilith, focusing on things that he would at least basically know how to do (as opposed to pulling someone out of whatever realm he hasn't been to and doesn't quite know how to access), would be a method of coping. Not even a bad one, on a basic level and in my opinion (even if it still ended in breaking the world). Of course Dean wouldn't compare it to that.
So, does that mean Micheal is honest-to-god missing!? Or is 'out of line' just 'sulking around not doing anything'. Why would Raphael (I much prefer this version of writing his name, but you should probably pick one and stick to it) be doing the leading and planning?
And now, I'm worried about Lucifer AGAIN. Yay. Would he find out? And what would happen if he does? Except for *maybe* the first (for clarification of a phrase), I would consider those answers spoilers, so please take those for reference only.
I said I wouldn't write every chapter, and I still mean it, but that was entirely too much to not get it off my chest.
I hope you continue to enjoy writing.
... Wow. I don't think that was the intention, but you nearly made me cry. Still not seeing all that properly. Good chapter.
Gabriel is someone who pretty much always and playfully does what he wants to, as long as he doesn't see it as pointless. Someone like that shouldn't be caged. Ever.
...Though if it means he lives, I'll probably take it. With a bit of protest. Somehow I totally ignored how much heaven must consider him a traitor now. Or rather, the consequences of that, so it's good you thought about it. Maybe he can find out some things. I really liked that introspection on his part, too.
I see now what you meant with difficult. That weird mixture of worry, impatience, focus, rage and quite possibly guilt would not be the most stable state of mind. Like hypersensitivity, but everything being blurred at the same time. Dean's perspective is a nice choice, he knows enough about Sam to give at least a bit of insight there, and he adds some things too (I am positive that Sam hardly notices Jo is even there at the moment).
Not changing the plan - ouch. But it is much like the scenario with Lilith, focusing on things that he would at least basically know how to do (as opposed to pulling someone out of whatever realm he hasn't been to and doesn't quite know how to access), would be a method of coping. Not even a bad one, on a basic level and in my opinion (even if it still ended in breaking the world). Of course Dean wouldn't compare it to that.
So, does that mean Micheal is honest-to-god missing!? Or is 'out of line' just 'sulking around not doing anything'. Why would Raphael (I much prefer this version of writing his name, but you should probably pick one and stick to it) be doing the leading and planning?
And now, I'm worried about Lucifer AGAIN. Yay. Would he find out? And what would happen if he does? Except for *maybe* the first (for clarification of a phrase), I would consider those answers spoilers, so please take those for reference only.
I said I wouldn't write every chapter, and I still mean it, but that was entirely too much to not get it off my chest.
I hope you continue to enjoy writing.
9/5/2017 c9 jolinar00
Love it. please continue
Love it. please continue
9/4/2017 c26 Kasuyorai
And there’s a new chapter! And you still get hardly any feedback, where I think you would have deserved so much more.
If it was me writing I cannot honestly say I would have been fine with it. I will try to go a little more into detail than last time.
Well, the points of criticism last time were mostly meant as: it might deter new readers from getting into the story, which is sad, because I like it. (The later chapters are a bit better and the notation I have gotten used to - it’s actually intertwined to a point where it wouldn’t be your story without it.)
You are actually responsible for countless little head-canons that I have adopted, like the most of the talk with Gabriel in the beginning, or the SMS conversation about the wealthy new investor of Chuck, or how Gabriel doesn’t want Cas looking for God because he himself has wasted too much time doing exactly that. There are a lot of those - things that I can add, and it wouldn’t change too much of what happened in the series. An exception being Gabriel’s death - that is one of the things I am perfectly fine with not having, even though I think the way it originally happened was beautiful from a narration standpoint.
This story also was a balm on the soul when I originally got here from later parts of the series where Sam and Dean still hadn’t talked out any of the angry tension between them, only added to it. So this is a little fix-it story for me. And not even one of the “Deus ex machina” kind, but a genuine different story (with a bit of OOC moments, mostly in the sense of “we know what they actually would have done, it’s in the series [and it kinda sucks]”).
Reading again from the beginning, because I got a little lost on what was in this story compared to others of a similar timeframe (within the series, as well as my reading), I also have to say I enjoy your humour. Most of all the kind of ironic, snide little comments, like “Almost as bad as Dad’s writing skills” (Gabriel about Chucks writing).
The way Gabriel and Dean interact has to be my favourite of all the “you’re courting my brother” kind of scenarios.
I really liked the excursion into John’s backstory with Martin and Gabriel, and a nice use of an episode I found disturbing, while essentially cutting it short.
I might as well mention though, that I don’t like Meg. At all. She is a good character, but I wouldn’t trust her with anything, least of all Cas. (And when I finally think she might be a little sympathetic it was a red flag. Yay.) But I will try not to let that influence me on whatever you plan to do with her.
As for the newest chapter... So having Meg near Sam in Famine’s vicinity was obviously not a great plan, but HAS something changed in Sam? If he is standing there talking with Famine in a room full of demons without loosing it, when he didn’t need to have proximity to demons for it in the series... do you suppose it is a “faith” thing, or maybe different carvings that balance each other? Regardless, sassy Sam is fun to read and I like the idea of Jo being off the radar for those following the plan. Also , thanks for that part with Lucifer. For some reason I find it both hilarious and adorable that conjuring false credit cards works. Like Gabriel would want to make sure his older brother is taken care of. ...assuming Lucifer is familiar with using them.
So, I will not write a review every chapter, but I will try to give you something every now and then.
I hope you continue to enjoy writing.
And there’s a new chapter! And you still get hardly any feedback, where I think you would have deserved so much more.
If it was me writing I cannot honestly say I would have been fine with it. I will try to go a little more into detail than last time.
Well, the points of criticism last time were mostly meant as: it might deter new readers from getting into the story, which is sad, because I like it. (The later chapters are a bit better and the notation I have gotten used to - it’s actually intertwined to a point where it wouldn’t be your story without it.)
You are actually responsible for countless little head-canons that I have adopted, like the most of the talk with Gabriel in the beginning, or the SMS conversation about the wealthy new investor of Chuck, or how Gabriel doesn’t want Cas looking for God because he himself has wasted too much time doing exactly that. There are a lot of those - things that I can add, and it wouldn’t change too much of what happened in the series. An exception being Gabriel’s death - that is one of the things I am perfectly fine with not having, even though I think the way it originally happened was beautiful from a narration standpoint.
This story also was a balm on the soul when I originally got here from later parts of the series where Sam and Dean still hadn’t talked out any of the angry tension between them, only added to it. So this is a little fix-it story for me. And not even one of the “Deus ex machina” kind, but a genuine different story (with a bit of OOC moments, mostly in the sense of “we know what they actually would have done, it’s in the series [and it kinda sucks]”).
Reading again from the beginning, because I got a little lost on what was in this story compared to others of a similar timeframe (within the series, as well as my reading), I also have to say I enjoy your humour. Most of all the kind of ironic, snide little comments, like “Almost as bad as Dad’s writing skills” (Gabriel about Chucks writing).
The way Gabriel and Dean interact has to be my favourite of all the “you’re courting my brother” kind of scenarios.
I really liked the excursion into John’s backstory with Martin and Gabriel, and a nice use of an episode I found disturbing, while essentially cutting it short.
I might as well mention though, that I don’t like Meg. At all. She is a good character, but I wouldn’t trust her with anything, least of all Cas. (And when I finally think she might be a little sympathetic it was a red flag. Yay.) But I will try not to let that influence me on whatever you plan to do with her.
As for the newest chapter... So having Meg near Sam in Famine’s vicinity was obviously not a great plan, but HAS something changed in Sam? If he is standing there talking with Famine in a room full of demons without loosing it, when he didn’t need to have proximity to demons for it in the series... do you suppose it is a “faith” thing, or maybe different carvings that balance each other? Regardless, sassy Sam is fun to read and I like the idea of Jo being off the radar for those following the plan. Also , thanks for that part with Lucifer. For some reason I find it both hilarious and adorable that conjuring false credit cards works. Like Gabriel would want to make sure his older brother is taken care of. ...assuming Lucifer is familiar with using them.
So, I will not write a review every chapter, but I will try to give you something every now and then.
I hope you continue to enjoy writing.
8/5/2017 c22 Kasuyorai
Now that's an interesting developement with Lucifer and those bracelets. I am quite curious how you are going to continue that line of thought.
There may be some mistakes here and there and your notation for speech takes some getting used to, but the rest is great. I hope you continue to enjoy writing.
Now that's an interesting developement with Lucifer and those bracelets. I am quite curious how you are going to continue that line of thought.
There may be some mistakes here and there and your notation for speech takes some getting used to, but the rest is great. I hope you continue to enjoy writing.