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for Grim is the World in Which We Live (CLOSED SYOC)

6/27/2017 c5 41mayurie
So here we get to know some names of Team Cargo's member. Honestly, this one is a bit difficult for me to read, or maybe I'm just bad at reading action filled chapter because I can't figure out who's talking XD Well, I think you did a good job with vaguely describing them so we won't know much about them yet. I need to read this again-wait, is the German shepherd a pet? And it can talk? Or maybe the guy can speak with animal? I'm really sorry if I'm wrong, cause I'm confused right now XD Anyway, the three main team is now done! I look forward to the next chapter!
6/22/2017 c3 friendly anon
Wow, this was a really cool way to go about introducing the story- Nemesis is pretty interesting and I can't wait to see what his major plan is for the characters. I agree that I think M's weapon is not very creative, but I see no problem with two scythe wielders, they are different styles and I'm sure M and E have different styles of fighting with them. I do hope to see a wider diversity of weapons for the other teams though.
I also like that you're doing songs for the characters. I'll be looking forward to seeing what the others are. Can't wait to see what all of their real names are too. I know there's Jazpeer and Sakura. But none of the others have been named.
Also can't wait to see how you show the characters on your pinterest board.
I hope you update real soon! You've got me so excited that I've been checking both pin and this a lot to see if there's any updates. But I also want to say take your own pace at it, but I can't stop my mind from wondering every little bit lol.
Nice start and good luck with the next two teams!
6/24/2017 c4 ZodiacPanic
Niceeee. I don't know which is my favorite out of this team yet, but I am looking forward to the dynamics between this team in particular with there only being one girl (as well as jasmine, but as a girl, I can sort of predict how it'll go with the 3 on that team). I really liked the team work between the partners and how well they seem to go together. My favorite weapon though is definitely the glider gun, makes it fun to have a windy semblance. And it seems there is a light blue and a light grey aura color- maybe white for the girl? Don't know the last one but those are all my guesses.

I may send you some songs later for my oc, do you prefer instrumental osts or anything?
I'm also sure Opera is probably some shade or something in a color.. Just google opera red or opera pink. It works.
Nice job, I am really excited for the last team so that we can go on to the introductions and see how everyone meets. I think it'll be funny with how some of the personalities so far seem
6/24/2017 c4 LifeisBeautiful17
I loved how you did my Mr R in this chapter! It's really interesting that the leader of the majority male group is the one girl- I wonder how that will go in the beginning. i assume since she looks like to be the one giving orders to Mr P
It seems that Miss O (I assume) has some sort of camo semblance like Ren's though she uses it to sneak up on the grim, also since you wrote "It couldn't reach him" maybe she was trying to hide him. I cant tell what Mr P's is though.

I love how the two R's acted in their part. Interesting weapons too for all of them.

Great job on this one as well! Can't wait to see the last team and really get the story started! hope to see their team banner soon on Pinterest! I like looking at that board!
6/24/2017 c4 2ObieSenpai
Oh, so OPRR is supposedto be Opera...
Saying Opera would remind us of a colr would be the same thing as saying Nightmare would be one, so I guess it's fine?
So this is the major male team, huh? So the girl has a healing semblance and weilds a crossbow, the guy with the girl has a paralysis semblance, I think? Could explain his lavk of talking.
Guy with hangglider has a wind based semblance it seems. Surprised that it turns into a rifle and a staff. He also seems rather calm although having a hangglider, since I'd expect those kind of people to be cheerful, happy-go-lucky adrenaline junkies. Oh well.
Couldn't say much about bat boy, since he didn't show a semblance. I would like to see their names at least.
6/24/2017 c4 Mind On Fire
Alright, I LOVED the dynamic between the partners in this chapter. I think OPRR is going to be a very promising team when the main story starts! The weapons on this team seem really cool too! I like the glider/gun of Mr R's best besides my character's.
I'm fine with short chapters as long as they have the detail they need, also if they're updated more often (but that's more of on your own pace sorta thing too)
As far as the uneven team thing goes, I believe it was team BRNZ that also had a three to one. So I don't think it's a big deal.
Awesome job and I can't wait to see the last team! :)
6/24/2017 c4 41mayurie
Alright, another trailer to rise the hype! So now we saw them with their respective partners while in battle! I guess my favorite out of the four would be Mr. R with his red glider, I'm sure he won't have any difficulty with his landing strategy in the Initiation... Though can't say I'm not liking the other Mr. R's style with his bat XD

And I wouldn't count 1k as short, though the other may not think the same... Well, just one more team to go, right? I can't wait, so excited for this! Oh, and since team OPRR respective partners are OP and RR, does that also works with team JSME? Like, JS and ME?

Anyway, great work with this trailer! I can't say much about the battle scene since I'm not good with it, but I think you did great! Can't wait till the next update!
6/21/2017 c3 LifeisBeautiful17
This is a really interesting way to start the story! I think I like Ms E alot- seems feisty. Plus I don't mind much that there's only one guy- I've seen in cannon at the vital festival teams with 3 to 1 ratio so it's possible- as long as you're not one of those people that only chose it that way cause they want their main to have a harem- now those I'm not a fan of.
While yeah, two characters have scythes, one is a sniper/scythe- similar to Ruby, and the other is a boomerang/two bladed scythe, so I do see some difference here and it seems that the scythe part of both is more of the secondary form for both. Things like the rarity can be ignored since this is an au set in the future.
Awesome job introducing these characters! Can't wait to see the other two teams! :)
6/21/2017 c3 ZodiacPanic
Nice trailer! I like that you're doing the story in 3rd person pov- I am never much of a fan of stories with 1st. Though I really like how different these characters are, I am unsure on how I feel about the scythe thing- not because of the rarity, but duplicates on the same team are kinda meh in my book. With that note, if anyone on my character's team has a similar weapon to them, then lemme know and I'll change it.
But I really like how you're doing these trailers through! Gets us pumped up more for the real story.
And I'll be sure to check out that pinterest!
6/21/2017 c3 2ObieSenpai
Alright that is pretty cool.
There are some things that do strike a nerve in me, particularly just small things.
1. My number one pet peeve is pretty much uneven balancing of genders in co-ed teams, like three females and one male, and vice versa. I believe that ALL the teams in RWBY are either all one gender, or perfect 50-50. But again, pet peeve.
2. I feel Miss M's weapon is pretty much Ruby's, so I was tempted to go no inspiration. I know it isn't nice, but at least make an original weapon.
3. One thing I like about teams is weapon variability, but two members with scythes, which in the canonverse is the rarest weapon out there? Just saying.
However, there was some stuff in here that I liked.
1. Although not long, short and sweet ain't bad either.
2. The personalities are pretty diverse too. However is Jazpeer also Nemesis, or was he the man that got his ass whooped by him.
3. While the weapon could have been different, Miss M is my favorite out of the four (I ain't including Miss S though, that would be bias). I love subtle humor, and the kuudere is my favorite dere!
4. I am in the process of trying to perfect cheerful characters. So it was nice to see one of those in this story.
If you need help or need ideas in characterization, read "Game of Death!" on my profile. Analyze how well I got into character. It will definately be harder for this fic (since it is in third person and GOD is in first) but I think you can do it. Hope you post again soon.
6/20/2017 c3 41mayurie
That. Was. Freaking. Awesome! Seriously, it's an amazing and interesting trailer, really worth the wait! So Team JSME (Jasmine) is a one man and three women team, that'll be fun especially when they decide who bunk with who (if they turn the bed into bunks) XD And there's that Nemesis person-mysterious! Great job with this, I can't wait to see the other team and their trailer!
6/20/2017 c3 Mind On Fire
I think that this is an interesting way to introduce our characters! Plus I think this is going to be an interesting villain. My favorite out of these was probably whoever is M- but I am really excited to see the other teams! :) Keep up the awesome work!
6/17/2017 c1 1SliverSteel
Want to use my oc
6/17/2017 c2 LifeisBeautiful17
6/17/2017 c2 ZodiacPanic
Not much to review on here but I's nice to see you update with us so quickly! I'm looking forward for the next few chapters :)
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