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for First Match

4/15/2020 c1 12Doom King of Latveria
Man! This is so EPIC!

Are you going to write another ARMS story' like this in the future?
3/11/2018 c1 2ElecFlameFox
I really wish to see more and more ARMS fanfics, especially about Ninjara and Min Min, my favorite characters
3/3/2018 c1 18witchinmoonlight
Pretty interesting fanfic. Although I'm a little confused. Is Mechanica fighting Ribbon Girl a practice match/tryout or it is the actual Arms League? It was very interesting to hear her perspective on how she felt and she Ribbon Girl be kind to her even after she lost. Awesome job!
6/21/2017 c1 3YukigotGame
It's nice to know that the very first ARMS fic on this site happens to be about my favourite ARMS gal (next to Ribbon Girl). Did you see that post from the official ARMS Twitter where they showed that hidden in Mechanica's stage is a photo of her, her Dad and Max Brass? I wonder what that's all about.
6/19/2017 c1 30ThePizzaLovingTurtle
Huh! I never would have imagined an ARMS fanfiction would have been released this quickly. Especially on the day of release. ...Although that does seem ridiculous coming from a review three days late to the party.

The writing here is fresh and well-executed with just the right hint of quirkiness and solemness that would indeed represent a game in which the primary task is to beat the ever-living daylights out of one's opponent. Angst is an interesting choice for an ARMS fanfiction, what with the source game's small doses of lore and a relatively small amount deep and intellectual characterization, but the angst here is balanced by the lightheartedness of the character interactions and the fascinating fight scenes. Even then, the angst itself is minimal, but at the same time is classic and something anyone can relate to.

However, one problem I do find with this story's writing is the brief descriptions in the fights. The fights are fine, but the characters' actions and reactions are a bit odd. Most are simply "dodging" and throwing out "specific ARMS". The descriptions of the individual ARMS in exact detail of what their attributes are before they are tested in the actual fight are also somewhat bizarre. It worked in the instance where Mechanica showcased her tactical knowledge and fact she had been a fan of Ribbon Girl in that she could recognize the strategy.

On the other hand, when the story explicitly mentioned how Mechanica's Homies functioned, it felt somewhat off. It seemed to read more along the lines of "This story will now tell you what Mechanica's strategy is explicitly" rather than "reveal what Mechanica's personal strategy is through her eyes" or revealing it through the course of the fight.

Moving on, for being the first fanfiction for a game with little but snippets of lore, the work done to flesh out each character in the first chapter is proper and executed very well. Showcasing Mechanica's possible insecurities in her unconventional mechanical suit and herself fits as an inside look to her otherwise cheerful personality feels appropriate and was delivered well enough. Especially taking into consideration the warm-up scene and giving her a mentor character, I have to say, this representation of Mechanica is believable and human, and basically wonderful.

I do find that Mechanica's coach's relatively ambiguous description is both curious and suitable for this story. It does help give Mechanica a believable motivator and mentor figure that does help her inclusion in the ARMS League make sense.

Ribbon Girl, honestly, caught me by surprise. Even with her sing-song voice and her upbeat style, it seems as though a tinge of mischievousness has been added to her character and/or fighting style. It certainly makes her more interesting albeit curious. Although, seeing as this reviewer has yet to properly learn each individual character's snippet of backstory and personality from the Grand Prix, perhaps this story is actually much more accurate to each character's traits than expected.

But back to Ribbon Girl. I find that her fanciful yet distracting chatting gimmick, especially considering she is technically an idol, is fitting for her character even if she is usually displayed as cheery and fabulous. It is somewhat reminiscent of another Nintendo pop-star (or two) in her dialogue and competitiveness. Especially with her apologetic nature at the end of the match. It helps ground her in reality rather than make her OOC or make her similar to Max Brass in his narcissistic champ personality. It keeps her human and sympathetic even with how she defeated the protagonist of the story.

Plus, the autograph zinger between the two at the end was silly and charming even with how casually it was delivered, especially with the image of Mechanica still piloting a wrecked mech.

One thing that I absolutely adore about fanfictions is their subversion, as well as their adherence, to the source material. Something that I find is often missed in fanfictions are subtle details that can make a fan story seem void or absolutely unbelievable by ignoring or missing facts from the original source that conflict with the fan work unless stated to be nearly separate from the original. What I'm getting at is...

By dodging a bullet and exempting Spring Man from the story, though not a huge bullet, that shows self-awareness from the story and author as well as respect for the source material. Very. Well. Played. I appreciate that. From where I hail, stories like to/accidentally ignore the rules or possible story breaking details. Preventing Spring Man from breaking the immersion and bizarre time frame of Mechanica's backstory is absolutely wonderful and major kudos to the writer for having a sharp eye on things like that.

Although that may have been an over-exaggeration, to conclude this, for the first ARMS fanfiction, it is well-written and has very few, if any, plot holes that I am aware of, and with great character to boot. Nice work.
6/17/2017 c1 em.sheshan
Very nice fic for the first ARMS fic ever
6/17/2017 c1 17AlxkendBlader
This is awesome! I want to see others make fanfiction for this new game. Also, I hope someone makes a crossover fic between ARMS and Punch-Out
6/16/2017 c1 9Sovereign and Unbroken
Congratulations on being the first ARMS story! It was a pretty good read, to boot. I like how you've put your own little twist on the whole thing. It's always nice to see someone else's head-canon.

A little bit of criticism; stopping the scene to describe the characters' ARMS disrupted the flow of the story, as did the constant use of quotations around the ARMS. Trying to more naturally fit in the descriptions would make reading a lot smoother.

But still, I enjoyed reading this, and I certainly hope we see more in the future. The world could always use more ARMS.
6/16/2017 c1 Guest
Set down my switch and was like; "hey, i wonder if anyone has done an arms fanfic yet..." only one... Hood for you though :p first(published) one ever :)

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