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for I'm Not Sick

6/20/2017 c2 Guest
I love a sick Ryan! I'm really enjoying this.

I don't understand where people get that Kirsten wasn't motherly toward Ryan for most of the series (this isn't based on this story, but a couple of its reviews and some I've seen on other stories). I've rewatched it multiple times, and I'd say it only took a few episodes for her to come around. Sandy was definitely more comfortable with him, but she clearly cared for him fairly early in the series. By the time school started in the first season, she'd really warmed up to him. I think that seeing him sick would have definitely expedited that process, since it would remind her that he was still a child and needed taken care of, despite how much mature he was than Seth.

Thanks so much for the story, can't wait to read more!
6/20/2017 c2 Guest
I wasn't sure if you were going to veer in the unbelievable direction of Kirsten treating Ryan like Seth, something she never did at all, not even close, during the show. Early on, it would have been really unthinkable. She was the one who didn't want him there, saw him as a threat when Seth was the one who was the source of trouble, ironically, and relented when she was left facing him as Dawn left again and Sandy clearly was in favor of doing all that he could. It was like Sandy was shouldering the load, by unspoken agreement, and Kirsten wouldn't object and would do the minimum to fill in when Sandy couldn't or needed a hand. It was obvious that she sent a vibe of not being comfortable with Ryan or trusting him, so Ryan would have even more trouble accepting anything extra from her. Sandy had seen him and met him at his worst, most humiliated and desperate and they'd been honest with each other. Having Sandy understand what approach to take and to be the one to use their connection here definitely works. The way Kirsten at least knows to step back or not get involved and have Sandy do it shows that she's holding back for her own sake and/or for Ryan's. I don't know if she's reluctant because she wants to keep her distance or to not upset Ryan more. Both work.

What's important is that Sandy should be more of a realist and understand things so much better than a sheltered, immature, self-centered Seth who thinks about being sick as being just a little sick, nothing serious, and thinking about it like a spoiled little kid who rules the house while he's catered to. Ryan might have been actually sick, had no medicine or means of relief so there was nothing to enjoy. He would have liked school and also seen it as an escape and he would have been at the mercy of anyone who wanted to hurt him and was used to having to take advantage of, so he'd be punished more. If he was lucky, he could suffer in silence. If he was found out, he'd be made to pay for being more of a burden, get no help, and reminded that no one cared and there was no money to waste on him. A sick or hurt target is the most vulnerable and at risk one.

I would count on Sandy to be the one to not put the pressure on Ryan to assume he would know how he was supposed to act if he didn't feel well in the Cohens' house. It hasn't been spelled out. Not much as at all. Assumptions are just that and there's no way to assume that Ryan should just know what to do and that he came from the same kind of place, because he came from a very different place with totally different behaviors. This is a scenario to read Ryan and take cues from him and respond accordingly and make it a learning opportunity after the primary goal of doing whatever possible to find out what's wrong and address it immediately. There's too much they don't know about Ryan and that includes medically.

Yep, no fun in a quick and easy fix. There's gold to mine here and physical vulnerability and actual concern for a kid who was never wanted or cared for is important and so is a way of seeing the impact of how emotional trauma has played out over time.

Thanks for the update!
6/20/2017 c2 Kandyocbr
Loved it! Please, keep going! I would love to see Kirsten in full mothering mode with sick Ryan.
6/20/2017 c2 Guest
That was quick. Thanks for another good reason to have a few minutes at lunch. Sorry for the food reference, Ryan. : )

Seth really doesn't get it. This is just one prime example of how he has no concept of how different Ryan's life has been and how incredibly fortunate Seth has been, despite his believing otherwise, by comparison. There was nothing great about Ryan ever being sick. It only meant he was more vulnerable and made things more dangerous for him. There would only be more anger and more misery on top of the usual, not someone to wait on him and take care of him and worry and make sure someone knew exactly what was wrong and it was addressed before it was worse.

I couldn't see Kirsten coming home, unless she was a very different Kirsten, and wondering about Ryan. She would be about keeping her distance and putting that ball in Sandy's court. Having Sandy be the one to get closest to Ryan and the one who Ryan would trust makes sense. Any interactions with Kirsten so far have had Ryan either very wary and uncomfortable or just fearing the worst. Sandy was the one who first helped Ryan no questions asked or strings, so he should be the one here for Ryan again no matter what Seth's experience has been demanding both of his parents to devote themselves to him. That's not Ryan's reality there and it never has been at all. It's time for the Cohens to take this opportunity to see why Ryan reacts the way he does, not blame him for not being what they're accustomed to. He can't cover and pretend so they're getting a more honest glimpse of what happens in certain situations and Sandy should know the reasons why. It's not about rejecting Sandy's help but what Ryan's had to do to survive until now. Of course, the sicker he is, and they might not know anything about his history, the more important it is for them to be aware and step up for Ryan's health and the added crucial benefit of building more trust. That's key and something Kirsten undermined.

Thanks again!
6/20/2017 c2 18Robin0203
Yay! I love waking up to new updates! I love this story! Poor Ryan!
6/19/2017 c1 Guest
It's very justifiable to understand Ryan's perspective, both because of his life experience to date and how he came to be in Newport (and for such a short time). Plainly put, there have always been conditions to everything in Ryan's life, and that's if he was lucky to have anything in exchange for strings attached, anything not just negative and harmful.

What's more important is who is paying attention to Ryan, and not either turning a blind eye or keeping distance, like Kirsten sadly did for how long in the series, or waiting to react to a perceived mistake from a kid who has no map and has been dropped into a setting filled with unknowns and left to find his way and usually take care of Seth and how he gets himself into trouble on top of it. Sandy and Kirsten are Ryan's guardians, legally, and that seemed to mean that Sandy chose to be Ryan's advocate and it appeared that Kirsten was in name, but not actively. I'd like to see Sandy, who seemed to be the one attuned to Ryan and watching for signs that he was struggling or might need help, fill that role and be able to show Ryan that he didn't have to be neither seen nor heard so he didn't rock the boat. The issue is also a matter of what could be something more serious and how quickly something that Ryan has always had to dismiss or try to handle could develop into more than he could control. Ryan should have had the ability to trust destroyed, but he seems to have always trusted Sandy, whether out of desperation or instinct. It's also about how much a guardian takes the role seriously and beyond the basic legal definition so Ryan isn't left to his own devices and given the message that he's responsible for himself, but he'll get food and clothing, a roof and an education if he doesn't cause problems.

Thanks for starting to write and for tackling some crucial issues!
6/19/2017 c1 10matthewsbj
I enjoy stories where Ryan is beginning to learn to trust the Cohens. I can see how he isn't comfortable enough to bother them, or what he sees is bothering them. Hopefully Sandy and Kirsten notice, and will show him they care.

Looking forward to the future chapters.
6/19/2017 c1 Guest
Of course Ryan wouldn't expect anyone to care, unless it was to blame him and make him more miserable by reminding him that he couldn't afford to be sick and they weren't going to bother with him. Poor Ryan had to clean up after "sick," as in drunk and high Dawn and Trey, and Dawn probably made it a daily occurrence, but no one took care of Ryan. He also knew he was on very thin ice with Kirsten, who hadn't wanted him there. He knows that Sandy is on his side, but he has to think that kids who have someone turn to their mothers when they're sick. Ryan's never had that and can't imagine it now. He has to be trying to be invisible, not make waves, and not give any reason to have to need attention. That will only make things worse either with Kirsten or for Sandy with Kirsten. Ryan knows that Sandy has already had to go to bat for him. This is way outside of Ryan's non-existent comfort zone. He can't know what to expect, except it won't be good.

Welcome to the O.C. and I hope you enjoy watching and writing, especially Ryan!
6/19/2017 c1 18Robin0203
I don't watch the show, but it's a good story, upset soon please!
6/19/2017 c1 Guest
I'm sure the only way Ryan has ever suffered has been on his own. If he dared to breathe at the wrong time, he paid for it. Counting on any help and not being made to feel worse would be out of the question. Safe for him had to be hoping it wasn't serious and riding it out quietly before someone saw the chance to take advantage of him when he couldn't defend himself.

I buy that he wouldn't want to burden the Cohens. He wouldn't want to risk being trouble. Asking for nothing and trying to do everything they expected might mean that Kirsten would tolerate him. He might trust Sandy, but old habits from his whole life die hard and he's never had someone to turn to or believed that he should. Of course Seth sees Ryan as not being actually human and able to be hurt or sick.

I hope you write more. The first person can be tricky to master!
6/19/2017 c1 Guest
Oh ryan he should just let kirsten and sandy take care of soon
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