
5/12 c31 Guest
Why is Danny Phantom in this. I like this story but really why add Danny Phantom crossover when it's not necessary literally could have just had Harry go on vacation to France, Japan or somewhere there's so many references that could be used for an arc.
Why is Danny Phantom in this. I like this story but really why add Danny Phantom crossover when it's not necessary literally could have just had Harry go on vacation to France, Japan or somewhere there's so many references that could be used for an arc.
4/23 c5 Guest
This is from chapter 5, it's awkwardly worded and implies she has her hands crossed over her chest still but is pionting at two different people?("Nym crossed her arms over her chest. "You mean the ones about Hydra and Shield?" She questioned. "I think it's time you told us just who you two are Natty," Nym said, pointing at both Natasha and Coulson.")
This is from chapter 5, it's awkwardly worded and implies she has her hands crossed over her chest still but is pionting at two different people?("Nym crossed her arms over her chest. "You mean the ones about Hydra and Shield?" She questioned. "I think it's time you told us just who you two are Natty," Nym said, pointing at both Natasha and Coulson.")
3/20 c1 MonkeyDGabry
being married doesn't meant that the girls need to stay with harry, they could just go away. It seems a bit unrealistic (more than a bit ) that Laura and Natasha who are basically assassins (or were assassins) would agree to just go along with it and be with Harry since he's a 15 year old kid. I know you wouldn't have a story if they just go away but i expected a bit more drama
being married doesn't meant that the girls need to stay with harry, they could just go away. It seems a bit unrealistic (more than a bit ) that Laura and Natasha who are basically assassins (or were assassins) would agree to just go along with it and be with Harry since he's a 15 year old kid. I know you wouldn't have a story if they just go away but i expected a bit more drama
3/18 c1 Guest
REVIEW MY STORY!
www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana
REVIEW MY STORY!
www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana
**
REVIEW MY STORY!
www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana
REVIEW MY STORY!
www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana
**
3/18 c9 DrTravia
I was enjoying this story all the way up until "entitled white businessman" its a similar generalization or any other "[negative personality trait] [race] [derogatory term]"
The story is at least readable even if it has little to no plot that I've seen. Why must people be racist.
Who raises people to think that racism against a certain group of people is OK because nobody cares if that group is targeted?
Don't worry its just a know-it-all mudblood whore.
I don't know if people honestly can't see the similarities or they are doing it just to talk down to people. You just made my favorite character sound like malfoy this wasn't supposed to be drarry. Much disappointment
I was enjoying this story all the way up until "entitled white businessman" its a similar generalization or any other "[negative personality trait] [race] [derogatory term]"
The story is at least readable even if it has little to no plot that I've seen. Why must people be racist.
Who raises people to think that racism against a certain group of people is OK because nobody cares if that group is targeted?
Don't worry its just a know-it-all mudblood whore.
I don't know if people honestly can't see the similarities or they are doing it just to talk down to people. You just made my favorite character sound like malfoy this wasn't supposed to be drarry. Much disappointment
2/18 c7 GenericPjoName
“Obviated” While grammatically correct, the term used in the books is “obliviated.”
“Obviated” While grammatically correct, the term used in the books is “obliviated.”
2/18 c1 GenericPjoName
Also, use a different line break. Listening to wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww every time is annoying.
Also, use a different line break. Listening to wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww every time is annoying.
2/17 c5 GenericPjoName
You have too many commas making a massive run-on sentence instead of using periods to just make more sentences. Break these things up.
You have too many commas making a massive run-on sentence instead of using periods to just make more sentences. Break these things up.