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for What Happened To Training

4/28/2020 c1 3Leon Venxus
Saiyans cant sick. The only major problem with this. Even halfbreeds cant
11/15/2018 c1 18Lionheart261
Well, content-wise and in terms of the actual dialogue, the fic is solid overall. Everyone's in character, Gohan's motivation to get stronger and train in spite of his sickness makes perfect sense given the situation and his character, and all in all, it was a nice little one shot. You know, a nice little bit of everyday family drama in the midst of one of DBZ's many timeskips before a climactic, world altering fight. It's refreshing, honestly-you can never underestimate the value of some slower scenes in between all of the titanic battles against the forces of evil. ;)

As for the story's mechanics, they were a...bit all over the place. Missing punctuation at the end of sentences, commas where there should've been question marks, a few places where the word choice could've been better(such as "sorted" instead of "assorted," or "withstand" instead of "withhold"), a handful of places where a semi-colon or comma could've been used to help the sentence flow a little better when read. Also, optional thing you can do: both Google Docs and the doc manager here have an option to insert a horizontal line. Helps transitions between scenes flow a little better.

Still, for a first fic, this is some pretty solid work! With a bit of refinement on the mechanical side of things and practice, practice, and more practice, I can see you becoming quite good at this. Interested to see some of those other stories you mentioned...
5/7/2018 c1 132ThickerThanLove
Ah, I love this! Cute little family scenes are my favorites to read! Kudos too for having Gohan act his age—no kid, warrior or not, likes medicine!
3/14/2018 c1 realtasyyy
Great story! I like how descriptive you were with things, and also how I've never really seen fanfic about Gohan catching a cold. It seems creative to me.
Great job!
6/23/2017 c1 Guest
Great fanfiction!

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