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for Remnants of a Titan

8/1 c6 Guest
Sense the clean up operations are all over the world, I think it is best to keep it safe and have the story go to the Atlas kingdom. This makes sense because Kari is a Atlas agent so she will know about the SDC shady business deals and what they will try to do to get Vex tech. It would be hilarious to see Wessis father become intimidated by Parvela gaze if he thought it was a good idea to be raciest. Keep up the good work and also make sure to include the thoughts of Kari and Parvela and their reactions to how the other fought. This will help the reader have a better picture of their character. You can also describing their through their body language.
11/6/2018 c6 Guest
Is this story dead!?
7/14/2017 c6 6ptabs0101's brother
Okay, decent story but the grammar still has much to be desired from. Since you don't have a beta-reader yet, I'm just gonna give you a quick english tutorial.

First off, it's spelled "follow" not "fallow". Secondly, know the difference between "their", "they're" and "there". Their shows possession of multiple people as in "their guns" while "they're" is short for "they are". Next, "you're" and "your". "Your" shows possession in second person like "your hair" or "this ship is yours" while "you're" is short for "you are". Lastly, the use of "a" and "an". Use "a" if the next word starts with a consonant like "a tower" or "a house" while you use "an" if the next word starts with a vowel or sounds like it starts with a vowel like "an animal" and "an hour".

Use these tips on english to fix your summary and chapters so you could attract more readers.

Also, don't entirely dismiss the threat of the Grimm. High leveled Grimm like the Sea Dragon and Goliaths are more than a match for a single Guardian.
7/10/2017 c1 Guest
Its been a long time since I've read such a stultifyingly hideous summary. I have no hope for this story.
7/8/2017 c5 ptabs0101's brother
There was really no need for the flashback sequence since the way you arranged the events made the narration looked kind of awkward for me. You could have just arranged it in chronological order to make it look much smoother.
7/2/2017 c4 ptabs0101's brother
Foxes are known to be shapeshifters so maybe the semblance to temporarily alter her appearances or something like that.
6/28/2017 c3 ptabs0101's brother
I chuckled a bit when Pavela missed with the Hammer of Sol.
6/27/2017 c2 ptabs0101's brother
I see vast improvement in grammar in this chapter but there were still a lot so I'll just go on ahead to comment on the story.

That was a nice touch using a solar reactor from a Cabal ship as the catalyst for Pavela to unlock the Sunbreaker subclass. Although, I do think the bit with Zavala's speech from the Sunbreaker story mission was a little off.

Out of curiosity, how would you rate Pavela compared to the Huntsmen of Remnant and the members of Fireteam Nero?
6/25/2017 c1 1Mastermind4892
Interesting. Let's see where this shall lead...
6/25/2017 c1 6ptabs0101's brother
The only issue I have with this story is the grammatical errors but other than that, I like where this story is going. You write spacebattles better than I could.

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