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for A Million Ways

10/21/2018 c2 Concerned Reader
It has been 9 months and 3 days since the last update to this story. Why have you just let it die? I hate when people start stories and then never finish them. If you were not planning on continuing this story then please delete it so people don't read it then wait for an update that will never come. Why bother starting something then never seeing it thru to the end? I see you have started other stories and have completed or update them, so why not finish this story or delete it?
3/18/2018 c2 36Omnitrix 12
Hmm. Building on what I remarked before, Jack is close to being the typical "guy who's not Nick." Unlike other cases I've seen before, though, you've left /some/ room to develop his character and make him at least a plausible rival (as opposed to just being the "Gaston" to Nick's "Beast"). Kristen is more promising still, in as much as that though she is not as developed, she at least lacks obvious signs of a bad mate like narcissism and thick-headedness.

Two things that are bogging this down, however: Judy feels very much unlike herself, and her relationship with Jack feels rushed. Having them sharing an apartment, and the implication of a shared bank account down the road; both of these smack as signs of a long and developed relationship, especially for a career doe like Judy, but being dropped in the middle of it - and at such a turbulent part of the middle - is pretty jarring.

Still, you are doing better than most love triangle writers, and you haven't fallen into the usual holes just yet. I think you can safely count on much more here than just not being "The Worst" if you keep doing your best.
3/16/2018 c1 Omnitrix 12
Nice chase scene and banter. I have to admit I wanted to kick Nick for leaving the lifting to Judy afterward, but the events flowed well and the characters seemed like themselves. You have a few very minor errors in writing technique, but nothing major (except maybe for the part where Nick implies very casually that his pawpsicles might have actually killed someone. It could pass as a joke, but a pretty - dare I say it? - cold joke).

If you're anxious to make this a good one, I'll give you a bit of advice. Avoid single-purpose or one-dimensional characters like the plague. Nearly every WildeHopps triangle out there (that I've seen, anyway) has the extra party/parties being totally loathsome with no effort to make them remotely interesting to the readers, even as rivals or antagonists. So if Jack and Kristen (I'm guessing those are at least some of the other parties involved) are even just reasonably developed as characters and aren't ridiculously overstated (e.g. Jack /just/ being some kind of awesome, suave super-spy), you'll be in the top ten percent of date-one-person-and-end-up-with-another stories right there. A good mix of strengths and weaknesses is crucial.

Also, excellent attention to detail. Be sure to keep that up too.
1/19/2018 c2 1uomoape
I have to say I'm liking the premise of this fic more and more. You portray your characters very well and make them feel real. The emotions are not over or underplayed, and the general vibe from the dynamic duo is very faithful of the movie. Keep up the good work, can't wait for the next one!
1/18/2018 c2 Guest
I'm digging this so far. Interesting and competently written.
1/18/2018 c2 138Invader Johnny
This felt rather bittersweet.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.
8/29/2017 c1 Guest
Please update
7/13/2017 c1 2Jewel17.rae
What happens next? I have to know!
7/2/2017 c1 138Invader Johnny
Impressive to say the least.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.
7/2/2017 c1 SAVAGEFOX408
this was amazing its a really nice story so far
7/2/2017 c1 Roar
Wow, I really enjoyed this! Your writing style is so fluid and effortless; it was very easy to become captivated by the characters and their bickering! I am already eager to see where you take this story. Awesome job and can't wait to read more!

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