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for Not What Was, But Will Be

11/25 c3 1knifeman3874
I love this one.
10/22 c3 Dealek
"it will all be revealed soon"- last update 2 years ago

Damn good story, but sadly abandoned
8/19/2019 c3 Servantofcardin
Cardin is love Cardin is life
6/14/2019 c3 1Malgrath
What happended to this is it dead, is it on the back burner.
5/23/2019 c3 1Mr Razushi
Oooooo I like
5/17/2019 c3 Guest
I really enjoyed reading this. It would be great if you could continue the story.
3/1/2019 c3 PasiveNox
What great great nice
3/1/2019 c2 PasiveNox
Great great a mysteri
3/1/2019 c1 PasiveNox
Nice nice
2/24/2019 c3 An Indulgent Fellow
In the good spirit of gratitude and anticipation for the next entry, I wish to input my take on these past three chapters.

First and foremost, your understanding of Lovecraftian literature really stands out among other fanfiction writers who often resort to tentacles when describing the Great Ones, or in the case of Chapter 2, an Ascended Great One. The fact that Hunter the flesh and the Ascended Hunter coexisting in the same vessel intrigues me greatly especially since he purportedly possesses the very cosmos as his granted eyes.

Ignoring the self-righteousness of those who know not the world the Good Hunter was raised, I'm glad you gave this Yharnamite the absolutism ethics, that is a clear line between good and evil. While RWBY has the privilege of claiming the world to be conditionally ethical, you and I can both recall that Yharnem is not a place of moral contemplation. One does not survive by mulling over the ifs and exceptions of the characters. Because all have sinned against the Great Ones, everyone is either a man or a beast-those of the light and of the dark, respectively. There is no room for self-righteousness in such a Lovecraftian world: pure evil is real and it exists in the Old Blood. For making that clarification clear with the Baker analogy and Hunter's train-of-thought, I congratulate your choice in morality, yet I wish the Good Hunter was FAR more wary of his situation. Despite being murdered in cold blood by mad villagers and Eldritch beings, Hunter seems a bit too sane or really normal as a character. Sure, he has acquired the higher truth, but he ought to be disenfranchised with humanity, detached like the very being he is, rather than being like a Remnantan of his age.

Overall, I am impressed with your commitment and meticulousity with the story. I do not know how the story will progress heretofore given the introduction of other hunters as well as a lack of antagonism between anyone (save for Team CRDL and Salem), yet I will wait with eagerness. Until then, and may the good blood guide your way.
2/7/2019 c1 Guest
I find tell-all moments like this in story telling to be really, really weird. Literally who just flat out gives a lore synopsis in response to a simple question? Hunter's awareness of his circumstances is easily handwaived 'cause insight, but his behavior is just weird. You had him sneaking around all professional like and described borderline military rest while talking to Ozpin, but his background isn't as some kind of veteran? He was just sick forever before the blood? I thought you were dropping hints about backstory with the game's options as a point to kick off from, but nope, its just... there.

Asking about Ozpin's 'capacity' was weird too. The history lesson no character asked for. Hunter treating the meeting like some kind of debreifing. That last one could've been another neat hint and character quirk, I suppose, but again, I'm stuck on his background being just... he was sick. And while that all could have been cohesive and interesting, it doesn't mesh well with the bits of Hunter's otherness that you dropped, 'cause they have wildly different tones. Is he kin, is he a babby god? Or is he a mundane sort of soldier in a fantastical setting? You straight up invoke his eyes twice, but also he needs to ask Ozpin whether he's feeling open minded. He wanders out of the desert a madman covered in blood, and then does his best to logically explain his existence to the first authority figure he comes across. What?

Honestly, either concept could be fun and interesting to read, but together they're just jarring. And "woops I was blood drunk" isn't a good enough bridge.

Either way, I'd still have a problem with the freely given and unprompted history lesson. Crossover exposition scenes where a character from one world just spontaneously explains everything they can think of about themselves and their world are some of the most painful things in fanfic, and letting most of it happen offscreen does nothing to improve it as a plot device. You're a good enough writer on a technical level that I was willing to set aside my other issues, have a little faith, and see where you took it. Unfortunately, seeing that killed my interest.
1/7/2019 c2 1Malgrath
Aw shiz boys Maria dropping in!
1/1/2019 c3 Shirou02
Nice fight scene. Hopefully a new chapter will come soon.
12/11/2018 c3 Guest
I need more please!
11/6/2018 c3 3The Impossible Muffin
My only thought is that he wouldn't use 'gods' as a epithet. Considering the climate and time period he went through, wouldn't he have been more likely to call upon the Great Ones?
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