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for Red Tailed Monkey

10/13/2020 c1 Starlord Master
You certainly have imagination.
11/8/2018 c1 jbadillodavila
Buena historia
6/3/2018 c1 Mystolon
May I ask what is the point of a rewrite if you make the same bad bits that were present in the first draft

In the bio above you listed Senjutsu Chakra and Touki as separate powers which does not fill one with confidence of your understanding of how Senjutsu works in DxD unfortunately

How does a Pureblood Youkai have a Sacred gear?

I wish you had made your OC a Monkey man Youkai like Sun Wukong and Bikou are in canon And make being a Saiyan as a state of highest potential achieved through Senjutsu (Something Like what Koneko did in Canon when she Transformed herself into an adult temporarily and had access to her full potential) unique to the monkey race

Or you could have made the Saiyans a variation sub species of the Monkey race Youkai Like Koneko and her sister are 2 tailed variation of normal Neko youkai, Say something like only 1 in a Million Monkey Youkai are born Saiyan

it would have been a cleaner Transition than Introducing The Saiyan's as a race of separate Monkey Youkai and rewriting canon that the most powerful Monkey Youkai was a Saiyan that's just Cheap

You could introduce practically any Dragon ball Technique you wanted into the story after all In DB those techniques are Ki based and Ki exists in DxD and it is 1 of the energies that can be accessed through the practice of Senjutsu

You wouldn't even need to change the mechanics of the abilities just copy and paste
4/19/2018 c1 Darkjaden
Creating a sacred gear longinus class that could be considered the second strongest makes the story uninteresting followed by the name. If it was just giving him power over light it would be fine but multiple elements is too much also the guy is a yokai meaning even if he was born from a human and yokai he was registered as a yokai also most yokai blood overpowers the human blood unlike some races. Showing off a high number of harem members at the beginning also ruins it for some people since if it was hidden but showed it was going to be a harem some people who don't like harem might read it and when the list comes out enjoys it enough that they still want continue reading it. Besides the Sacred Gear control over the elements, its unoriginal name(most gears have names that are exciting even the weak ones like Twice Critical or Sword Birth that is moderately good but Light Wolf just seems like a 10-11 year old.) Just want to say this is not a flame towards your story but just my personal opinion and I hope to see the story prove me wrong since I am going to start reading it after I finish comment.
7/29/2017 c1 ArchAngelAsura
like it hope you continue
7/19/2017 c1 Joseph
Can't wait to see how this story is going to go.
7/10/2017 c1 Guest
Not half bad. Would like to see more of this. Make it happen soon.
7/10/2017 c1 Guest
Um for raizen shouldn't it be training with tensei not Nick and shouldn't it be runes not ruins with reiji?
7/5/2017 c1 Guest
What's a Quincy?
7/5/2017 c1 WolfKing
Look cool
"But it's seems the Oc is a overpowered one, he is a powerful Yokai with strong abilities and master of Yokai arts, adding a Sacred Gear that grant him power over the Light among other elements as well is a little too much.
I think that is would be fine if he only control the Light element since he already possess the ability to use Fox Fire along with his Yokai arts. Question Oc is half human?
In the harem why girls from others animes why not dxd girls only?
Just saying mate
7/5/2017 c1 BANKAIZEN
interesting story
7/5/2017 c1 Guest
How many stories are you gonna do at once. I suggest that you do 2 or 3 at once and rest put on hiatus and when you finish the stories that you write you can take the others.
Just a suggestion..
7/5/2017 c1 Guest
Already like this story. One question, who's this Nick that you have listed as kaitlin's adopted brother?
7/5/2017 c1 zRoyal
First the Fallen Angel God and now this? How much more are you going to make me look forward to?!
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