Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Harry Potter and the Daft Morons

6h c84 FaeriesMyst
This work is brilliant. I hope someday it will be completed. Regardless, it is masterful story telling.
7/27 c30 agnar
just re-reading this, and I'll admit, the one thing in the fic I felt was unsatisfying was the outcome of the Augusta Longbottom situation. It just felt like it wasn't really answered why she said, did, and behaved as she did.

Seemed like some at least hint DD messed with her somehow, or she, or perhaps her brother, was up to something intentionally. Because as is, there's just such a large amount of fucking up and fucking over of Harry and Neville to be just unintentional or whatever.
7/23 c33 Guest
Daft moron writer with a greate gau ego, every fucking chapter you hit Hermione for what ever reason. Also if the gau dumbass part are reduce or remove it will make it better, sure it will never happend as those homo parts are exactly you. Daft morons never success this mean you not the rest of the world.
7/21 c1 Shonisto
Just one thing, i've actually fainted before and you don't always fall forwards, i did have a nasty goose egg on the back of my head for about a week after that.
7/20 c1 Shonisto
Just one thing, i've actually fainted before and you don't always fall forwards, i did have a nasty goose egg on the back of my head for about a week after that.
7/19 c84 major wallace
Nice work
7/17 c18 Jack T. Writer
I honestly am not sure if I like it or not.
Things like Betrothal Contracts being talked about without the persons there... It's always in the context and in this story Harrys life was decided for him by someone else, got abused and neglected.
I don't believe for a second neither him nor the adults would react in the way of sayingLet's discuss the Betrothal, before they even are a couple.“
Oh and also I always imagined Harry as someone who would be happy to get new clothes. Considering how often he talks about Dudley's old clothes. And how happy he was just getting one Sweater from Molly Weasley... It was always in my head, that he would probably like shopping for clothes and that the girl who loves to read and seems to only have books in her wouldn't like it so much to go shopping for clothes.

But besides of that... There is nothing I don't like in this story.
- Jack
7/16 c12 bascospc
why can’t harry just transfer schools after the tri-wizard tournament if he doesn’t want dumbledore to influence his life?
7/14 c8 Mang0 man
Nm
7/14 c8 Mang0 man
I feel like they should have paid him atleast 100k galleons for falsely imprisonment of a lord of the most Nobel and ancient house of black
7/14 c84 lovelylexi.3483
Is there a update coming soon?
7/14 c1 muffdyvr
naffing? oh yes really bad language!
what are you 10m
7/8 c1 Seud
'Then he said...’

Yeah, no. This review holds advice for the author and anyone who wants to write in the future. Avoid using this phrase as much as humanly possible, it is completely within anyones ability to write a story without ever having to use it, this is an incredibly lazy way of writing dialogue.

Not only is it lazy writing, but it is also repetitive. Imagine every time a character says something or is about to say something, dialogue is followed by or preceded with something along the lines of, ‘He/She/They/ said'. It’s incredibly annoying and jarring, right?

If you want an example of how you can imply who is saying something without outright saying who is saying what, then read on, if you don’t, well it’s not like I can make you try to be better at writing.

Example:

Harry was honestly quite shocked at what Hermione had just told him, so much so in fact, that all he could do at that moment was simply gape at her with his mouth open while trying to think up a proper response. Her looking at him with such an alien expression on her face was not helping with his brains current malfunction. Well the expression was alien for Hermione of all people, her current expression would actually fit quite snug on the Weasley Twins faces just after they’ve finished with a particularly mischievous prank.

He’d dare to even say that Hermione’s expression had no visible differences between those of Fred and George at this moment in time. All three having that all too familiar smirk, the crinkling of their eyes and how they just practically glowed with mischief, indeed you would be hard pressed to find any other who could pull off such an iconic expression so perfectly.

“You did what?!”

Example (End).

You see how I didn’t need to use the, ‘He/She/They said.’ nonsense to show just who is talking at a specific point in time? It isn’t hard, you can even vastly shorten this wall of text down. All you need to do is properly convey who is talking without outright saying who is with context clues.
7/8 c58 Centaurious
I thought Harry would never change his "Cooking" from:
1) A meat dish
2) Potatoes
3) Sweet Potatoes
4) Carrots
5) Onions
6) Corn
7) Peas
Now he has added broccoli and cauliflower.
Wow, he is just Blazing with Creative Juices... not.

You would have been better served by just stealing meal descriptions from online menus.
7/6 c5 Guest
Up to now it was more or less good. The part of Minerva, phillius and pomona is an stupidity as that is part of your standards of making good people been stupidest same as JKR it made the story an stupidity.
11,384 Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service