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4/28 c1 TheTenPlagues
Maybe it will update one day
6/15/2019 c1 7poupou02
very good story suggested by upplet unfortunatly it seem like this story is pretty must down for a one-shot instead of a multi-chapter one since no update was made in 2 years
5/13/2019 c1 jtdarkman
Lol this was loads of fun shout out to uplett for suggesting it thanx
5/8/2019 c1 USA Patriot
I was referred to this story by Upplet. And I really liked it. Classic feeling of frustration when losing in a video game over and over and over and over. I have felt that many times. The details are very good, and it is well written, in both grammar and sentence structure. The Bunnihilator lmao. I hope you update this story sometime, as it’s been quite a while, and I really want to know what happens next.
2/14/2019 c1 jrp00n10
Hello.

So : Where's Chapter Two ? :)
11/25/2018 c1 Wildemen
Lovely story worth a read for any Zootopia fan.
8/25/2018 c1 Guest
JAJA QUE CONPETICIÓN
5/14/2018 c1 11GhostWolf88
One chapter published 10 months ago? This is really good, PLEASE continue it...
3/8/2018 c1 Guest
dale judidale tu puedes demuestra que los conejos también pueden ser duros jaja
1/23/2018 c1 2Connor-Olen
Hey, I noticed that you've been following my stories for a while now, so I thought i would return the favor. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but I ended up being pleasantly surprised. It's very well written and oh-so adorable. So, from one writer to another, I wish you good luck in the future.
1/19/2018 c1 Guest
ajja espero que gane judi se lo merece un poquito de adios al ego de nick no lo va a amatar ajaja
11/11/2017 c1 13thecrazystorywriter14
Double-yew oh double-yew. You're a better writer than I am and I have to say that right here. I was so eager to leave a review that I had to force myself to stop reading. You dumbfounded me with your incredible talents as a writer. You are gifted.

(By the way, thanks for favoriting my story. But that's not what I came here for.)

You should really consider writing more pieces. They are extremely enthralling. I can understand why you had so much fun writing these pieces.

Thanks,

CrazyWriter
9/28/2017 c1 8Daniel Goldhorn
Hey, finally here! I really enjoyed your story, and before I go any further: the fact that you have proper grammar and spelling, already sets you in the upper echelon of stories. That honestly cannot be taken for granted!

As for critiques, I'd say to maybe tone down the flowery language. Things like "russet-furred companion-turned-adversary" distract from the story instead of add to it. The biggest word isn't always the right one to use, and simpler is better. In the same vein, your descriptions of both past events and what's going on in their heads drag the action to a halt. I see you already noted the abundance of exposition, and I'd just recommend to only include it if it's /needed/.

Also, one line, "she rapidly flapped her right foot in the air", jolted me a bit because I wasn't sure what was going on. It took me a moment to see she was trying to get down from a couch that was too big for her.

All that said though, you did well here, especially for a first fiction. I want to know now why Nick wants to keep his family life a secret from Judy; excellent tease there! I also really enjoy the banter between Nick and Judy, such as when he teases her with his tail and gets mock-offended when she swats it away. And now, I'm also psyched for what will actually happen! I want to know if Judy defeats Nick, or vice versa, and what the punishment is! So good job, and I hope you continue!

PS... caught the HTTYD reference at the end, mirroring Astrid in the dragon arena. ;)
9/14/2017 c1 akanomie1
that was a very good read..hope nick lets her win lol
8/9/2017 c1 4KOakaKO
This was quite a good start, for a first-time writing, Max. I look forward to seeing where you will go with this. ;)
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