Just In
for Frayed Knots

12/26/2020 c30 OneTruthCup
Last updated October 13th...” yikes.

(In all seriousness though, I am VERY sorry for disappearing like I did. I swear it wasn’t intentional, and I had no idea you’ve been feeling under the weather lately. I haven’t even been seeing your tumblr posts! Tonight is the first time I’ve checked in, because I suspected I wasn’t receiving notifications...)

To try and make up for lost time, I’ll attempt to make this review EXTRA SPECIAL!

First things first, it was a real change to get back into a story with a first person POV. I don’t see a lot of that, and reading the first few lines of this chapter was, dare I say it? Quite refreshing. When I think of first person fanfic in general, your fics are the first ones I think of.

Moreover, I think this chapter might be one of the best paced yet, at least in my opinion. Throughout every section of events you kept the story moving, and you maintained the sense of AC being involved in the present. There was a VERY good balance of dialogue, description, and action. Every time AC reflected on something or made an observation everything was perfectly relevant, and every time you brought up a detail already covered previously it felt like the right way to summarize for readers who might have forgotten relevant information. Nothing felt too slow, too cluttered, or too anything else; it was just right. And I’m not saying that just to be nice either, this is good stuff!

As for the characters and events themselves, AC is really worming his way into my heart. More than I thought he would! More and more he’s forming into the canon personality many know so well, but still with your own little facets to give him depth and motivations. At this point, I’m very captivated by the current plot line. You’ve introduced so many interesting conflicts in AC’s life, and while he has found a measure of peace in some respects (his mother, Mona, freedom from the Eros Nest) it’s apparent he has many problems on the horizon, as well as some growing pains as he further matures into adulthood. In particular, I like the scene you gave us with AC and his mother. I have the impression that anti-Florensa just flat out didn't want to be a parent, and has never had much skill with young kids. Now that AC and his brother are older, I think she has an easier time finding ways to relate and vice versa for AC. He wants a real relationship with his mother, and now he's at an age where navigating her gruff personality feels like less of a confusing trial.
Which is SUCH a neat reverse of the prime mother-son dynamic that I'm just now seeing. Prime Florensa is a very attentive and doting mother who got along with her kids best when they were young, but struggles to interact with them as adults without being (A) overbearing or (B) resentful and emotionally abusive. Anti-Florensa was a few levels beyond Tough Love, being rather cold, exacting, and physically rough when her kids were young, but she has an easier time with them as adults, even if she hasn't exactly softened. Honestly, that's such an interesting evolution of their relationship, especially when compared with Prime Cosmo.

Speaking of Anti-Fairies, It was also surprising to see AW's role this chapter. I wasn't expecting her to apologize this chapter, or to eventually confront AC one of his lies. It was an interesting result on both accounts, firstly in seeing how AC's feelings have changed, and secondly in seeing where AW is fitting in. In the latter's case, it's obvious to see that AW is struggling to both do her job well and to acclimate in such a different social setting than what she's used to. AW is out of the nest, but in some ways she's walked right into another cage. Very intriguing, and I'm sure it will be a delight to witness her evolution when AC next lays eyes on her.

And, with him going off to high school I can definitely see who's going to earn AC affections next. Nevermind any other conflict in this story, AC's true enemy is crushing on any person within a five mile radius and/or keeping his pants on. That said, I am SO excited to see what comes next and how AC will fit in at Carl PoofyPants. And just as interesting, how will things progress with Mona? I can tell he at least wants to ATTEMPT the monogamous lifestyle for her sake, but it's clear the brand of personal vices AC has to contend with. He's a randy little fella'.

Oh, and two special appearances I've got to mention, H.P. and Lohai! It's looking like a Depressed Bossman and a Little Sweety. Always great to catch a glimpse of them. Also, in H.P.'s case, I absolutely ADORED AC's internal thoughts on him and his relationship with Anti-Bryndan who is, as always highly suspicious. In this chapter especially we're seeing more of his true colors. AB isn't just looking for allies to help out his people, he has AMBITIONS, and it doesn't matter who gets in his way or what it costs to get what he feels is rightfully owed. In that sense, it's useful comparing Origins and Knots together, otherwise I might have these missed aspects of his character.

Other than that, I think I just like all the reappearances in this chapter; H.P., Lohai, AW, AB, anti-Florensa, AC's cat, a few of the prime characters AC met before, Philip, etc. Just so many reminders of the past, which actually does a great job contrasting how AC has changed since then. He'll always be somewhat immature, but he's honestly not the same kid we knew even a few chapters ago. For one thing he's better at controlling his impulses, more willing to see other points of view, and for another he treats other characters in VERY different ways from before, and it's interesting to see that evolution. It's not just him though. Things are changing for everyone, and AC (being the focus of this story) is the one character somewhat privy to seeing the results of those changes.

Overall, I'm very excited to see what will spur on the other changes in AC and the world around him. I have a basic idea of what big events come next, but the journey of getting there is still a vague, tantalizing dream. I'm excited for it!

(Fun fact: unlike AC, I actually I hate beets. Except for when I bake them into chocolate cake. Then they’re good)

As a fair warning, I'll also admit that I doubt my activity on here will be much more frequent in the coming days. It has nothing to do with you or how I feel about your writing, I've just been moving a lot (I moved again on the 24th. The fifth time in the last three months) and I have a lot on my mind. Either way, I wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and, of course, a festive Winter Turn! Take care of yourself
5/27/2020 c28 OneTruthCup
The stars have aligned! I swear, not reviewing for so long has been eating at me, but gosh does it feel good to be here now.

So, knowing AC, I’m not sure why I expected his debut as a dragon to be any different. It’s such a spectacular pratfall despite his intentions and drive, and yet at the same time I have to admire that he keeps trying to help even though, by some measures, he’s actually made his situation WORSE. And I bet H.P. didn’t appreciate being dragged along for the ride either. He could’ve been looting the office supply store, for goodness sake!

Meanwhile, AC’s reaction to seeing Cosmo prime caught me off guard, but still made me smile a bit. Leave it to AC to be attracted to his own doppelgänger. And to top it off, the description of Cosmo from AC’s perspective in that initial moment reminded me of very over the top romance novels, where the protagonist spots their love interest and is suddenly compelled to admire their beauty. Only in this case, it’s just AC dramatically gazing at his goofball counterpart.

It will admit that the action scene wasn’t the most vivid I’ve ever read, but it certainly told me what was necessary, and I think I was able to imagine the important parts of what was going on. Not too detailed, and not too bare. Maybe a little slow in some places, because AC is a big thinker who’s slowing down to watch, or explain things, but I can also understand that in some ways, because Eastkal, Cosmo, and the magic world building needed some momentary spotlight. Overall, it was a solid action scene that transitioned well into the next part.

Relatedly, this hydra fiasco feels like an actual canon scene, but for the life of me I can’t recall which episode. I‘m pretty sure I’m not imagining it’s existence though.

On another note, the interaction between AC and Eastkal after the fight surprised me with how much I enjoyed it. That’s not to say I was expecting to be bored this chapter, but more that I was unusually invested in them meeting up again, and then very heartbroken (in a good way!) due to how things turned out. What can I say though? They have a natural chemistry. Eastkal is adorable if somewhat naive and ignorant, while AC’s burgeoning infatuation was surprising, but not unwelcome. On top of that, it’s not often that AC is truly the worldly one between him and another. Usually, he’s the scrappy kid that’s (a) on a solo adventure (b) hanging out with peers or (c) working under a superior of some kind. Before getting flustered, AC was actually quite calm and composed, which is a nice change of pace in some ways.

As for AC’s hyper sexuality, which I haven’t really addressed yet, I think you’re doing a good job. It doesn’t jive with my own experiences, and I don’t think it’s represented a lot in media, but you seem to be giving it some careful thought, so I like that. It matches AC’s emotional highs and lows, and his passionate nature. In some chapters, like this one, I almost feel like I’m getting some sort of reader-whiplash because of how quickly AC crushes on one person and then the next, but maybe it’s supposed to be that way to reflect the nature of his mindset and sexuality.

More than that though, I enjoy the way you’ve given AC some time to explore his feelings, and how they differ in this case between Eastkal and H.P. They both inspire strong feelings, but in different ways and for different reasons which, despite being linked to pheromones in this case, is pretty transferable to real people forming relationships with different needs and goals in mind.

Come to think of it, it’s interesting that between Origins and Knots, you include conflict and growth in relation to the main characters sexuality and experiences with intimacy, but on WILDLY different ends of the spectrum, it seems, and I don’t just mean in terms of orientation. Where H.P. is older and coming to terms with his lack of a sex drive, AC is young and just starting to explore his place in the world and how he expresses love and lust. H.P. has responsibilities and certain experiences behind him, while AC is mostly free of responsibility and largely new to sexual intimacy. H.P. grew up in a culture that endorses monogamy, AC in the opposite. It’s makes it all the more wonderful, somehow, to know that they become friends. Although it also makes it doubly painful to see them on bad terms here too. Ouch.

As for the confinement and the upcoming trial, I’ll admit that my first time around I felt some serious apprehension for AC. Call me pessimistic, but almost nothing good happens when a person gets sucked up in the legal system, and the bad experiences related to the Eros nest only reinforce that opinion. Plus, AC’s parting comments practically set him up for tragedy and tough times. It’s not safe to be cocky in these situations!

Also, now in conjunction with Cageflight, I feel like this chapter and the next, because they beat him down so much, push AC into trying to get his life together, whatever that might mean. After this and cage flight I can picture him acting like what he think an adult is supposed to be.

On some lighter notes, a few tidbits that amused me include the anti-fairy weakness for chicken cordon bleu, a lot of the lines from H.P., AC flailing about while H.P. flops after him, ‘wish he’d do that lower,’ ‘... my new love for the hunt, my hatred of soy,’ and probably a few other things that I can’t recall.

Anyway, I had fun reading this, and I hope your graduation went well. Congratulations!
12/29/2019 c27 OneTruthCup
As far as holiday season treats go, this one was pretty satisfying. Definitely one of the more FUN chapters of Frayed Knots to date.

The dialogue was witty and in character, and that “el-click” discussion in particular had me cracking up. I also greatly enjoyed all of AC’s stunned disbelief, most often directed at H.P. His verbal remarks, his odd actions, his absurdly fantastic karmic weave, it all left AC bamboozled (and attracted?) in rather humorous ways. I could quite clearly picture AC’s expressions and tone of voice even without you saying so, which is a good thing.

Aside form just general fun-ness, I also spotted a few moments that I think speak very loudly about AC’s character at this point.

Actions like him searching for people in danger, and initially trying to save Faeheim in a sort of gut instinct, remind me of AC’s more valorous attributes, so to speak. When he’s in the mood for it, he’s very much the type to rush into various “heroic” escapades if it strikes chord with him. I don’t think he really thinks about it much, it’s just a certain core part of his character, a desire to protect the weak and wounded, to fight back against tough odds, to stand in the face of what he perceives as adversity and injustice. He sometimes gets bogged down by his own internal doubts, but he still has that knee jerk reaction of “yes! Must protect!” Which is honestly kind of funny for someone who doesn’t like “goody-goody” things. In contrast to H.P., I think he’s the sort who puts more stock in, for lack of a better phrase, heroes and villains. A way of categorizing people into good guys and bad guys in some senses, and the way he categorizes them, including the downtrodden, is almost... Victorian? It’s reminiscent of that, at least, and I think he also possesses the anti fairy equivalent of chivalry, etiquette, and prudishness that I think is so iconic of that era. Relatedly, the first ten chapters or so of this story heavily reminded of stories from that era as well. Heavy on internal narration, lots of flowery words and exposition, and of course the society itself happens to embody some of the “hallmarks” as well.

Getting back on point, other scenes, like AC entering that private cabin, or complementing objectively noble actions with selfish ones, showcase AC’s insatiable curiosity, ambition, and, well, selfishness.

Curiosity: His mind is always hungry, always driven crazy by some secret tidbit of knowledge, and that can translate into nosiness too. Something he’ll often give into even when his moral fiber cries out against it, which is why he debates for so long about opening the door before eventually giving in.

Ambition: He’s ambitious in that he’s always eager to jump on an opportunity that can make him respected and revered. Stage a coup, slay an evil, save someone, or otherwise achieve some impossible feat, preferably with the added bonus of gaining authority and power. He’d never grind his heel into the palm of anyone unless they were a true defeated enemy who deserved it, but he’d probably enjoy being ABLE to do that anyway. He craves that power, that respect from others, the symbols in his mind that point to success and achievement, to “look at me now, Ma! I made it!” Probably because he was made to feel so much LESSER when he was younger.

Selfishness: stealing and sitting back while a place goes up in flames isn’t something he’s ashamed of, even if the latter wasn’t his first instinct. He’s fine with violence, death, and other unsavory things as long as it serves a purpose for himself (although in some cases I think the reality of those unsavory things would be too much to witness fully). Sometimes he doesn’t even view his actions as selfish, because it’s normal in his culture, because he can justify it, because someone else did it first, etc.
Lots of assertive behavior this chapter, and a morsel of manipulation to get what he wants.
Relatedly, on one hand I think AC is very proud of that behavior, of being a “real anti fairy,” but I also think there are some things about his own race that he somewhat has to justify and explain to himself. He loves his home and his people, but he’s also a surprisingly empathetic person who holds himself to a high moral standard, which doesn’t always fit into the typical anti-fairy behavior. He has a lot of hang-ups, a lot of thresholds for what he will and won’t do. He takes his honor as an anti-fairy to the extreme

On another note, I don’t eve live I’ve mentioned just how hilarious and adorable I find AC’s crush of sorts on H.P. He’s got it bad for those pheromones of his, and now that amazing karmic weave? Tsk. Anti-Cosmo’s flustered nerves are going to be a near constant, aren’t they?
Even funnier is the way H.P is COMPLETELY oblivious. The idea that Anti-Cosmo, an anti-fairy drake, could be attracted to him in ANY way, probably hasn’t crossed his mind. He probably doesn’t even know his dad was handing out his pheromones, which, actually, brings up the question of how Ambrosine got them...

(Also, you corrected me recently on Frayed Knots being ahead of Origins. Thanks for that. I don’t know what I was thinking before, it’s so obvious)

Anywa, this was a delight. I’m very excited for the upcoming battle now. Between Origins and Knots I think there’s only been a few big, extended fight scenes altogether, so I’m curious to see how you pull this off. Until then!
7/10/2019 c26 30Jet Engine
Ah geez. He's in Fairy World. This can only spell trouble.

I'm also really curious about how Anti-Wanda got the virus. Couldn't have been from Anti-Cosmo just kissing her hands, could it? Well, I guess anything's possible right? Looking forward to more!
6/15/2019 c25 Jet Engine
To recap: Dame Artemis is a pistol, Anti-Wanda's got a lot going on right now, and Anti-Cosmo is jealous. Does that sound about right?

But, in all seriousness, Anti-Wanda and Anti-Wendy are getting really interesting, and I probably should have seen that coming but didn't. I'm a little ticked with Anti-Kanin, but I do get where he's coming from. I keep forgetting just how young Anti-Cosmo is. Looking forward to more!
6/11/2019 c25 OneTruthCup
Yet another fantastic chapter! The tone here feels a little more melancholic to me than usual, but I think that works well here given the events.

There’s a lot of stuff going on in this chapter, but I’d say the highlights for me would be

1. The migration
2. Dame Artemis
3. Anti-Wanda and her sister
4. The break up and AC’s growing pains in general

Now, I know that’s basically ALL of this chapter, but my list still stands.

The migration I found interesting partly because it’s more colorful world building, and partly because we get to see all sorts of familiar characters gather in one place. A nice excuse for interaction, that. Anti-Fergus was a treat, for a lot of reasons. The bit with Anti-Florensa, too, I have to say, really got to me. She’s not a great mother by any stretch of imagination, but I guess you could say she played as best she could with the hand she was dealt, and that strikes a chord with me, even more so when I read how AC feels about her now that he’s a little more grown up. That’s sometimes how it is with kids and their parents; as a child you see your parents one way, hero, villain, or somewhere in between, and as you mature so does your view of them. You can understand a little more where they’re coming from, while their flaws come into focus in a way that youth always obscures.

The specific events with Dame Artemis meanwhile, reminded me somewhat of an Agatha Christie novel; I half expected an some elaborate mystery “murderer on a train” style. That said, I’m happy you finally got back to the plot thread with Artemis; maybe sits just the curse of knowing some of the effect no sleep leaves a person with, but her punishment has been eating at me, let me tell you. At least she SEEMS to have gotten away with her plot.

The Anti-Wanda section here was also a treat. You have a real knack for writing these two together, including some canon like banter and chemistry, along with some truly emotion inspiring comments (AW’s insecurity was honestly quite sad, and AC’s “the charming and elegant make me nervous” quip was very aww inspiring). Their relationship is off to a tumultuous start, but if they weren’t my OTP before, they sure as heck are now!

And finally, AC’s growing pains came off as very relatable, for all that he’s a magical bat person living in a creepy cloud land. Exploration and coming to terms with one’s own body, with intimacy of all kinds, is a very trial and error sort of thing. First relationships too, are almost never made to last, although I’m glad they’ll at least remain friends. Still, AC was right in saying that he has some growing to do. He seems like he’s really looking for some direction in his life, and that’s something he needs to work out before he can even THINK about getting serious with someone, at least on a long term basis.
On a related note, I relay love how you’ve kept AC as kind of selfish throughout the story. I mean, he has some selfLESS moments too, but his unconscious me me me thinking is very prevalent. And I appreciate that. We all have that selfish streak in us, but I find that very few writers just LET their main protagonist be consistently selfish without giving the character some excuse or out. For example, AC is very selfish in regards to Mona. Their entire relationship is founded on a lie he made for his own benefit, and it persists even now as he ignores her entirely. As a reader I understand AC, but there’s no question he’s putting himself first in most cases, disregarding the needs that I feel Mona has made quite clear until now. He’s in the wrong, and one day he’ll have to deal with that.

Oh, and I haven’t comment on Rupert before, have I? He’s a real gem too. An anomaly among drones, I’d say, but nice in that it shows there are always exceptions to any rule.

Anyway though, thanks for posting again. I’ve been looking forward to this for awhile. And, even though I haven’t signed in, feel free to PM me!
6/11/2019 c24 OneTruthCup
Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t given this chapter a review yet. Shame on me.

First things first, I found the start of this chapter hilarious. It doesn’t even surprise me that Julius would be the sort to read trashy romance novels, but his gushy, romantic-at-heart commentary is just such a great mixture of funniness and insight into his character that I can’t help but smile. And don’t even get me started on the snippet from the book he was reading! That in itself I had to have reread at least a few times, just to savor it after my initial surprise, which made my lips start to hurt from all the smiling I was doing. From the dramatic, oh so gushy wording, to the actual depicted events, to the in universe way it came about. If asked to pick my favorite part I’d probably have to quote the whole thing. Not only does it unintentionally reinforce Julius’ misconceptions about pixies, but I also have to ask, “what was Ivorie even thinking?” I mean, she really took the whole pixie thing and ran with it, huh? Does Fergus know about her book? Cause, gosh, if I was him, learning the wisp who imprisoned me for a year also wrote a book about one of my pixies (fictional or no) “getting some sugar” would make my head spin! Heh, seriously though, this section is, just, deliciously wacky.

Also, you know you’ve done a good job when I can say, as I was reading about Julius trying his hand at writing, I felt the actual, sincere urge to offer words of encouragement. “C’mon, don’t give up! You just have to stick with it a little. Writing’s hard for everyone!”

As for Julius’ other antics before he officially became an adult, well, never let it be said he doesn’t get up to a lot when he’s feeling energetic. Demon summoning, caring for Lohai and her candles, trying to help the white one survive, daily life in the colony; he sure is ambitious, isn’t he?
And then, of course, he has to go and make all the adventurous, some might say foolish, decisions immediately afterwards. Mona’s not going to be happy with you when you get back, pal.

On another note though, I must say I was very intrigued by the coming of age ceremony shown here. The markings, the piercing, the intimacy, the way I’m picturing it all in my head; very striking. It really goes far in showing how you’ve designed an entire magical culture, and I find it very creative. It also stands out to me, as I’m sure it’s meant to, just how different anti-fairies are compared to their prime counterparts. It doesn’t take much thought to imagine that most fairies or even refracts would consider such a display alien, if not gross and indecent.
Also, I like how you included the friction between Anti-Florensa and Julius. They have a very obviously complicated relationship. I’m glad his friends are there for him though. At least until they run off to do their own bachelor lifestyle. You know, for some reason I was under the impression that AC was the odd one out most of the time.

And, last section of all, I think I’m almost as excited as AC is to explore his new relationship with Anti-Kanin. Here’s to hoping it doesn’t all go to smoke.

Also, as I reread this chapter I thought of an AC related question. How did you come up with his Divus Displacement Disorder? What made you think it would fit/ be an interesting facet of his character? Just curious.

Anyway though, this was a great chapter! Probably one of my favorites so far, which is a feat considering I seem to be saying that a lot these days...
6/11/2019 c25 1Royal Frumpiness
Oh no...poor Anti-Wanda, little does she know she'll get everything she's ever wanted in a few more millennium. Dear pet. 3

Keep up the great work, your fan-fictions are amazing!
1/22/2019 c24 30Jet Engine
Boys will be boys, I suppose. I kind of new from the start that the colony wouldn't work out too well. But, my gosh, Anti-Cosmo, what are you doing? What if Mona finds out? And, what do you think will happen when you inevitably wind up back at the castle?
1/22/2019 c24 88Bookworm Gal
Julian: "I don't want to go off in my own bachelor flock, please stop asking me to, Mona!"
Anti-Cosmo: "FREEDOM!"

Hehehehe. He's off flapping around and kissing and everything. He's really grown up. And we get to see Lohai's babies. Even if only one survived. But that's what happens when the survival rate is so low.

Fantastic work. I am eager to see what you have planned next.
1/8/2019 c23 OneTruthCup
Woo, boy! Another chapter! What to say, what to say...

So far, I like Jasmine. I haven’t had a chance to really get to know her much yet, but her introduction was memorable and humorous. Hopefully she’ll be a good influence. Also, “Metaphorical” sure it is, Jasmine, sure it is... it stands out to me how most fairies avoid Cu sith at all costs because of their abilities, but anti-fairies know little about it and lack such a fear. Three cheers for differences!

As always, I greatly enjoyed the overlap between this and Origins. It seems that the further into the story you get the longer and more frequent the interactions between Julius and Fergus. Aside from simply enjoying Julius’ viewpoint and the extra dialogue, I have to say that, more and more, I’m looking forward to when Julius finally figures out what’s ACTUALLY going on with HP and the pixies. Knowing him, he’ll probably combust from sheer embarrassment. Either that or some other over the top reaction, internal or otherwise. I also doubt HP will soften the blow. Perhaps best of all though, Fergus also ignited AC’ thoughts about being High Count. I find it intriguing that he considers himself poor leadership material, sometimes even wishing he could defer to others versus being defered to, and yet he sometimes ponders having power and being in charge.

As for the interactions between Mona and Julius, I, personally, think this might be one of the best chapters to focus on them yet. There have been some other alternatively cute and compelling chapters which spend some time focusing on them, but I prize this one for how it lays out their relationship, and how things have changed as they’ve grown up. Even though there’s still affection between them, the two aren’t quite on the same “level” as one another; on the surface they seem of like-kind, especially in regards to their intellect and vocabulary, but they have a set of conflicting views that only seem to increase in number as time goes on. Mona seems more of a realist, content to aim for a life outside of a “follower” but not much more than that the way Julius has a penchant for dreaming big. She wants to follow the typical anti-fairy “path to success”, solving her problems via adequate but mundane means. At the same time, she also wants to live a monogamist lifestyle, atypical for anti-fairies, which Julius is very much opposed to. Julius meanwhile, aims for the stars with reckless abandon. He’s not good at planning his life out the way Mona is, and when faced with certain things he prefers to be unique and out of the box, perhaps without even realizing how atypical his thinking is. Sticking to a single decision with possible long time ramifications also seems to be a weak point of his, which shines through in his inability to fully commit to Mona. One other thing that I’m sure will cause some serious friction later on is who wields the “power” in the relationship, and how Julius seems to so often disregard Mona’ feelings and advice, partially, it seems, because aside from being full of himself, he’s a bit of misogynist who won’t stand for being told what to do in such a way. One other thing I enjoyed about the parts with them was how you reminded us of the looming “oh by the way, did I mention our relationship was founded on a sham?”

In regards to, ahem, intimate matters, I also find interesting what could be called Julius’ continued sexual awakening; in earlier chapters (and this one to an extent) Julius seemed uncomfortable with such acts with anyone besides Mona or a person he’s close to, yet in this chapter he’s dying for some one off trysts. It’s true to real life, I think, in that people can be wish-washy in such a way, or sometimes only THINK they want something, perhaps because it’s the norm.

As much as I admire everything in this chapter though, I’d say my absolute favorite part has to be the collective mentions and scenes with Lohai. As a reader, you gave me a little more closure in regards to how she was handed off, and then you showed her side of things a bit more. I wasn’t sure how she would be affected by being left in such a place, unexpectedly, for such a long time. Julius doesn’t see it as much, barely a blink for one with such a lifespan, but to her it’s a REALLY sizable amount of time, and she’s suitably furious and hurt. It was very emotional for me, to read about her struggles and pain. I’m glad AC at least came to comfort and rescue her, even if he was a bit callous about certain things. Now that she’s somewhat safe, we readers just have the candles to worry about! I’m sure nothing will go wrong! I repeat to myself, fearful of the coming storm.

As for another well enjoyed scene, I also want to mention “They’re all named Mister. No, it’s not for a real cultural reason, I just do what I want.” Shame on you, FountainPenguin, for making me laugh! Really though, it makes me wonder what HP would come up with if he had to think of a last name AND a first name. They complain, but Sanderson and co. should consider themselves lucky.

Speaking of, I have a bit of a question regarding the HP’s naming convention. PM me?
1/8/2019 c23 Bookworm Gal
And so we have AC and HP discussing cultural difference, we have AC and Mona discussing their relationship, and we have little genies on the way. Lots of cool stuff happening as time continues forward. Very nice work on this chapter.
1/8/2019 c23 30Jet Engine
Jasmine rice. Oh Lord. I don't know if that was intentional (knowing you, it probably was), but now it's all I can think about. :P

But seriously, there are a lot of things in this one that I like. Making out in a sacred place, pixie children, punching demigods in the face. I also kind of wanna see Jasmine interact with Kitty. I feel like they'd get along great.
12/18/2018 c22 OneTruthCup
Finally! The mystery of the honey lock revealed! The way you gave us the twist, along with Julius’ reaction and the surrounding circumstances, is too good for me to properly describe. Probably my favorite part of this chapter, honestly, although the others parts come pretty close as well.

The first part with Julius’ therapy session, and the change in developments, was as surprising for me as it probably was for Julius. You really captured the anguish and confusion on AC’s part, and also the sort of challenges and inner identity problems he’s been having. No only is he the reincarnation of Maddington, but he’s also “a drone in an anti-fairy body,” which complicates things further, especially for someone so prone to overthinking and anxiety. Also, even though I dislike Ambrosine in a way, it’s a sort of “I enjoy disliking this character” way, so I’m glad he showed up. He does awful things sometimes, but for the most part I can see where he’s coming from.

With how often you keep mentioning it in subtly, varying ways, I’m guessing the lack of information on Divus Displacement is foreshadowing something, but, since I don’t know what, I’ll just compliment you on how you write Julius’s “journey” when it comes to discovering who he is and how he’s going to live with/address his disorder. It’s very nice balance of inner “flip-flopping” that I think manages to be realistic in it own way. One moment Julius is sure of himself and how to treat his disorder (if he even feels it exists at that moment), and the next he’s completely lost feeling he can’t turn to anyone for actual answers; a predicament many can relate to, I’m sure.

Anyway though, another enjoyable chapter, that’s for sure! A little dialogue heavy in some places, but still well written. Also, I forgot if you’ve mentioned them before, but I greatly enjoy the names you gave the genies in this. Very fitting.
12/18/2018 c22 88Bookworm Gal
And so AC loses his therapist, loses his wand, but gains a lot of knowledge that has been suppressed for a very long time. Not to mention we get genies and a pixie breakout. This was a very eventful chapter.
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