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for Red Haze

6/6/2018 c1 5TheSecondBestBed
Brilliant story! I don't know if I wanted to laugh or shake my head or cheer when Gunther tackled Algernon. I think I was feeling three different things all at once! Though I agree with Jane, I wish he'd be more careful to not get himself killed! Still it's that same brash behaviour that saved Jane, and that's what's most important at the end of the day! These two are precious, I just love their relationship and the way you portray it!
7/14/2017 c1 26lareepqg
Amazing, as always. Gosh.

First of all- The Return Magnus: Parenting Guru. Brilliant source of information.

Second- There was quite a bit going on here, and like Gunther, I couldn't help but feel breathless, pushed along by the narrative. Would he get there in time? Would he save Jane? Would Algernon hurt her? Jeeminie Cheesemas, my heart was galloping along. To quote my friend Sam, (who just finished Red Haze) "Well, that was stressful." Somehow, you wordsmith you, you took us right along with Gunther. Breathless anticipation, anxiety, fear, loathing, and then exhausted emotional relief. Heck, by the end I felt like I had been the one running through town, not him!

And then when he BLANKS OUT. Straight up loses himself in the red haze to WAKE UP already restrained. That's scary. It's scary for us as the reader, since we've missed so much. Scary for him once he gets to thinking about it. Gunther the berserker. **shivers** I bet Algae didn't even see him coming.

Can I get a WHATWHAT shout out to Jester, castle-bro? I lovelovelove that he was here for this, here for Gunther and Jane, and (oddly) a voice of reason?

And then JANE! Jane pulling her sword and showing her chops. How UTTERLY embarrassing for Algernon. He is going to be so mad. SO MAD. Who knows what depths of depravity he will stoop to in order to exact his vicious revenge. I love how uncontrollably feral he is- he's definitely feeling hunted and will need to re-assert control. Of himself, over his situation, over Jane. Excellent job. Really. I can feel his descent into madness.

Finally: Jane and Gunther. Oh could they be any more perfectly themselves? This last little bit is so sweet, I love them so much. Gunther's relief is palpable, tangible. And then "And she chose ME", sweet zombie babies I squeed so loudly I woke up the toddler. I love it. Love it.

Thank you so very much for this contribution. I just. Wow.
7/14/2017 c1 204Jatd4ever
I love everything about this.

I love how instead of being a roadblock, Magnus was actually helpful. Perhaps his sons reputation would reflect on him, but at least he was a dad for once. I love how we are moving forward to the point where soon everyone if they did not already know how bad a guy Algernon was. Man, I knew when we first made him up he was going to be a bad guy, but dang it, he's really downright evil now.

I think best of all was when jane actually protected Gunther, this was the best moment of this fic. When she pulled out her Dragon sword, I was thinking "Oh man, this is really giving me the feels."

Anyway, I loved how even when jane was angry at him, Gunther knew he did the right thing, because he knew she would do the same. And how it was still hard to believe she picked him, HIM! I would feel the same way. I'm kind of like Gunther that way, I would put all my feelings on the line and wonder whether I would be accepted anyway. Oh Gunther, his life is surrounded by troubles, but at least he has something to care about, and someone to care for him back.

When Gunther couldn't help but smile at her anger, I smiled, it was so them.

And God help him, he couldn't stop himself; it was just so natural to provoke her when her heat was up like this.

"Then it is a very good thing I have you," he fairly drawled.

She opened her mouth – closed it with a snap – opened it again – uttered a single, revolted, "Ugghh!" – threw her hands in the air, spun on her heel, and stalked away.

What a wonderful to end a fic then with them being themselves. Well done, though I feel like we're still going to have trouble with Algernon.
7/14/2017 c1 9yingyanggirl
Great, love to see what the next person comes up with!
7/13/2017 c1 79SunRise19
Oh...Oh my! Wow! Horrible man! Just sickening! Awesome writing here! Brilliant job! Wonderful!
7/13/2017 c1 Lily
Yes! This is just the perfect backstory, in my relatively in significant opinion, for that horrid boy. And it makes sense!
I wish that I were a part of this community, but I have to say that this story game has been a perk in my summer! It's amazing to see such talented writers come together and create a fabulous story. It's like magic! :)

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