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3/19 c7 nyashamakanyire
i actually liked the story, but I don't understand why nerf him so much. he spent like 7 years with little to no progress at all
3/11 c16 Guest
Too much confusing shit happening with little to no explanation. I’m not a master of DBZ lore so the constant skips are confusing as hell. I’m out. It’s not making much sense
2/18 c10 Guest
You do know that you just debuffed super saiyan a lot right? It's your story so it's your choice but the Ssj multiplier should enhance the total by 50 times including zenkais, not being treated as connected to them. Guess I am just being an idiot for something wrote on a chapter made in 2017 or 2018
2/15 c12 ansaris
What's sad about this story until now is that there is no real character aside from Kll. Everyone is an NPC who does not matter at all. The amount of screen time shows the little importance they have.

Even Kll does not matter, I would not care if he lived or died because he has no real connection to anything. Bara? Just another undeveloped NPC. Why did he spend years goofing off? Who knows.

This stupid fight scene where he goofs around and brags... idiocy. I suppose this is a hallmark of the source material so it's to be expected?

Where's the fantastic story development? I don't see it.

The story has decent prose and is well edited but the curse words take me out of it.

The overall pacing was okay but the lack of actual character development kills it.

Background story matters. If you just skip to whatever you want, the reader is not going to be as invested in the character.

If all you care about is the numbers and cringy battles then you will probably love it.

I am not a big fan of DragonBall so you can take my opinion as being irrelevant if you like. I had been hoping for a story that would convince me otherwise but this one wasn't it.
2/15 c7 ansaris
Kll losing on purpose to Barra is stupid, hiding his power to this match Barra is stupid, and skipping the first five years of his life was stupid. Why? Because no one likes an MC who isn't trying his best. We're reading fiction because we are wasting time, we definitely don't want to read about it.

If the "character growth" is Barra dying because Kll wasn't strong enough, then it's just too predictable to be enjoyable. Otherwise the story has been okay until now. I just personally don't like the "Gamer". It takes you out of the story and makes everything less believable. This could have been more interesting without it. Well, on to the next chapter.
1/27 c1 Guest
Everything the third eye gives can be unlocked relatively quickly anyway, so why pick that option?
1/27 c1 Guest
A third eye on a Saiyan? Is it at least a Rinnegan? No? Then it sounds kind of a lame thing to have since you will always be ostracized because of it in a society filled with jerks.
1/20 c73 1Zanuk
it's honestly great to see this story end. I remember a while ago that I talked to you and Kaneki and tried to write my own story, life got in my way however.

I'd love if you sent me the excel stuff cause I have 2 chapters of my story saved and would happily modify then with your system stuff
1/20 c68 Nagisa Tr
man trying to piece together the bolded letters is killing my eyes.

I got
'im so sorry it had to be this way'

before i gave up on trying to read them
1/15 c73 3ImBoredSoITypeShit
Man. What a story.
1/8 c31 kageknuser2710
Kll kinda deserves to die at this point. Kakarot is absolutely right, Kll just keeps talking and explaining shit all the time instead of just finishing the fight.
1/3 c30 4Narutaard
Elder Moori has been Immortal for years, possibly getting tortured as hostage by Turles. I don't think he would crack so easily, especially if the enemy is asking about his benefactor.
12/26/2022 c73 naruto6656
Honestly, the ending of this is on the scale of what I always wanted Westworld to be. Excellent work
12/4/2022 c18 ARIESTERR971
I would love to try the game
11/22/2022 c73 5Lander Blazer
Thank you for writing this entire story, it had been a really great ride, from beginning to end~
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