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for When the Story Ends

1/17/2019 c16 8Skarlashka
This is such an interesting story; i’m so glad I caught up to it (finally!). I think you managed to make the characters and their interactions all believable and enjoyable too. In terms of pacing, you did a fantastic job considering the difficulties of dealing with multiple characters. I thought some parts were a bit rushed, including some actions scenes but I understand your comment on one of the earlier chapters regarding wanting to focus on plot elements more so than the action-y parts. It’s always very easy to critique and say but so hard to do :)
Plot wise, the story was extremely enjoyable but on one perspective, simple (which can be both a good and a bad thing)! I wish I could have read the entire version of this timeline from volume 3 :P I also wish I knew what happened next (the story ended with a rather large “cliffhanger” with still a lot of questions hanging) but yeah, that would have been a massive project which was not your goal. I can’t believe you wrote this in the span of a month! No wonder I couldn’t keep up with your pace for beta lol. You’re a writing boss!
Hope you get to do more writing this year :3
Now, I’m gonna go read your next story!
1/17/2019 c15 Skarlashka
I like the idea of Yang the maiden dragon. it’s so epic~
1/17/2019 c14 Skarlashka
soooo what’s happening to noraaaaaa. Did she also get the miracle shot that slows it down? Please say she did?!
And omg, Taiyang, I feel so bad for him in this chapter! The chain of events just spiralled and HOW DID SHIT GET SO CHAOTIC SO FAST?! I’m so devastated right now.
And what, now to make it even worse Yang has lost it too. ._.
my heart is ded. how can this mess end in 2 more chapters?! wuuuuttt. this isn’t gonna end well is it. I’m going to cry.
1/17/2019 c13 Skarlashka
I really feel for Yang. She went through so much in canon before this story is set and it sounds like she went through more hell within this story’s timeline from the hints you’ve dropped. And now rubyyyyy and everything’s all completely chaotic now. Fuck…
You really know how to play with my emotions X)
1/17/2019 c12 Skarlashka
What’s going on with Ruby?! I’m so curious… I mentioned the side effects thing before and I love how you added it in and made it into a plot element! She seems like she’s losing it… uh oh
wait omg, she really has lost it D: RUBYYYYYYYY Goddammit, is it like the infection?!
Now I -really- can’t wait to read your other fanfic!
Ever since learning about Salem, I liked to imagine Ruby replacing her at the end of the story, and even attempted to write a small canon about it (which started to turn into too much of a big project and I’ve semi-given up). This is super cool!
1/17/2019 c11 Skarlashka
I love how Weiss and Ruby’s relationship is portrayed and where they are at. I remember the days when I wasn’t so fond of Weiss…. but she’s one of my favourites now! In some weird way she’s perfect for Ruby - like I wouldn’t have thought they had a possibility being together if you asked me in the earlier season, but now it makes perfect sense?
*pictures Weiss as a psychologist… hmmmm O_o
1/17/2019 c10 Skarlashka
I might have choked at “Weiss Fang” lol
Just a little nitpick again, not sure if the use of “chippered” is right… I didn’t even realise that was a word? I don’t know. I’m a bit confused O_o english can be like that though.
1/17/2019 c9 Skarlashka
OMG WHAAAT NORRAAAAA! GAAAAH this was where I’d stopped beta. NOOOOOOOOO
1/17/2019 c8 Skarlashka
Hahaha gods I love nora “NO. PANCAKESSSS.” nooooooo, and her egging Oscar on haha
Also I like team Coffee, hard to see them so down and torn apart :(
Omg haha I just realised, an element in this story has a similar premise to an AU I’ve been plotting which I mentioned to you XD I’d love to share some of my ideas about that next time we chat btw!
1/17/2019 c7 Skarlashka
Oh I remember how much I disliked this Ash Aspen dude. Gotta always have one of those on the council *sigh* he’s an assssssss. Haha you know a writing piece is good if you get intense feelings about a character like this ;) Blake’s passionate rage was refreshing to see - catching on from Yang hehe. Also the idea of Sun and Yang bonding over Blake is pretty hilarious X)
1/17/2019 c6 Skarlashka
Also, gotta mention, I thought it was interesting that you added nosebleeding as a side effect (taking me back to LIS days :D). I mean, I think Ruby’s SEW powers is very much OP. Apart from its limitations, we don’t know any side effects of it yet… And Maria’s still alive so it’s not like it’s going to shorten her life span. Since i never read this story till the very end, I wonder if you added this side effect for a plot element? I guess I’ll find out as I read on!
Just a small thing: I’m a terrible beta because I didn’t initially pick this up: “…what matters is that we preserved.” should be “we persevered.” My bad *facepalm* I dunno if you can even be bothered fixing it now but just letting you know haha
Drunk ruby is just too adorable! XD
1/17/2019 c5 Skarlashka
I admire your boldness to go for a canon story, even if it did become obsolete later. Every time I attempt canon, my head spins like a carousel on steroids and I end up giving up.
Continuing on from my previous comment regarding going for a canon story, I know from experience (FitD) how hard it can be to “close the gaps” writing a future-set canon story. But I think it’s part of the charm of writing one. I like how you’ve added bits and pieces of what’s happened in the past in their dialogue and descriptions, rather than “telling”. Leaves the reader guessing but clues them in as they go on.
1/17/2019 c4 Skarlashka
Happy New Year! I’m back in the game after a long holiday trip to deliver these reviews to you as I’ve promised! I’ve been typing out my thoughts and feelings (it was a roller coaster!) on a notepad as I read through so here comes the massive flood that I’ve owed you for a long time X)

I know you stated at the end of this chapter that you weren’t too happy about the pacing… but let me say this, I’ve always found it very difficult in stories with multiple characters to keep the story pace going at a good rate. I think you did it well enough here where there are so many RWBY characters to keep track of. I really enjoy how they are characterised and how they interact too. In my head, I can hear some of their dialogue in their canon voice lol
10/25/2018 c16 5DraconianPhilosopher
I am... ambivalent about this story. it started well, but toward the end I feel like the story itself got gutted in pursuit of that idea of destiny. not badly written, but the writing suffers for not being balanced very well. that and that it ends without actually resolving anythibg, so...

Yeah. Ambivalent.
3/19/2018 c3 8Skarlashka
I'm slowly getting through these when I can! :D I love re-reading them, wish I had more time, but i wanna leave proper reviews. Just noticed how -good- you are at characterising the girls. Ruby's a hard one to do so but I can imagine her in my mind just reading your work! Also, your 2nd chapter reminded me exactly why I shipped the bumblebee pair :3
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