Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Journey

6/7/2018 c1 5TheSecondBestBed
Such a tragic turn of events. Jane's body isn't ready for that kind of pressure even if she's emotionally wanting to push forward :( It's a horrible dilemma for her to be in , all of them really. There was such a melancholy tone to this piece and I think you expressed Gunther and Jane beautifully. Especially in that moment where they're flying in the air and Jane is at peace and Gunther is too. I hope he makes good on his promise to kill Al.
7/24/2017 c1 79SunRise19
They ripped Lavinia's dress! That must've scared her! I didn't know that would happen!
What is going on?! Brilliant twist you have my friend! Well done!
Jane's breakdown and sobbing makes complete sense. I can see her blaming herself;even Jester doing that as well. And Gunther, he is trying so hard to keep it together for the both of them.
I like how serious you made Dragon in this. He loves Jane and Lavinia..(I think you can see that in show) and has gone against his best friend in the world in order to keep her safe. That is not like Dragon, which brings home the point that Jane is Not herself.
Brilliant job! Well done!
7/24/2017 c1 26lareepqg
Hooray for teamwork! We’ve finally got Jane and Gunther working together, with Dragon as a massive support tank. And Gunther will need that support, because Jane is a force of nature all her own. He’d have had a hard time convincing Jane to stop for the knight otherwise. Had Jane snuck off on her own Dragon might have missed her fainting spell, or given into her will. (Not that Jane faints, of course. That’s for simpering ladies. The pain and exhaustion just snuck up on her.)

I’m very much invested in your Gunther, and I am glad you are taking his voice. His worry, his fear, his love-it's all so very clear and super-duper angsty. I love it. I imagine he hasn’t slept either, and you can feel it with his emotions pinging back and forth- trying to calm himself down, but he CAN’T because he just hurts for her. The hug at the end? Seriously, I could cry and read that all day.

The moments between Jane and Dragon are well done-Dragon doesn’t have much to say right now. He tends to lean towards silliness and/or mass destruction- and our heroes are past silly right now- So I wouldn’t expect very much dialogue from him at this point. Maybe later, when we hit mass destruction. But the quiet moments of tender friendship are really nice. A way for Jane to anchor herself in the coming storm? Dragon really is her tank, a kind of living embodiment of her courage, duty, loyalty, friendship, and care.

Also- the dialogue was spot on. There isn’t much (not much needed) and it works very well with his musings and the action. Nicely balanced.

Yay for flying scene! SO CUTE!

Finally, the foreboding. There’s so much foreboding, there’s foreboding FOR the foreboding. Something must be up...

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service