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8/1/2017 c1 Ahurtrojo
Cool. Please continue your fic.
8/1/2017 c1 32Anime PJ
As you well know, I am working on the Witch’s House story. I hope to get it out in the next few days.

… Okay, I’m getting the impression that you’re trying to make Kendrick more of a “good guy” in this version, which is fine in theory, but considering how much younger he was when he died in this version, I think it would be MORE likely that he’d turn out to be a killer. He killed the pirates in the other story without so much as a second thought … I don’t mean to offend, but are you sure you’re writing out the same character here? He feels vastly different. I actually quite liked the moral ambiguity he had in the other story.

Not a massive fan of how he just figures out he probably has glowing red eyes and is shrouded in shadow. Him noticing that OTHER PEOPLE do stuff like that is fine, as was him noticing the suddenly sharpened teeth, but it broke my immersion a bit when he just kinda went “I probably had red eyes and was covered in shadows.” Also found it a bit weird that Ken just started talking about his time in a cell with some guy he’d just met. In the other story, it made sense, he had to establish some trust between himself and Nami, but here … I dunno, I just didn’t see the reason for it.

Kendrick having learned about magic from somebody in Damnation was a very nice idea. Hey, you could totally have it be a character from Fairy Tail Zero or something! It’d be kind of awesome if he encountered someone from the history of the world itself while he was down there. It could be a cool little tie-in.

That “hell to pay” line got a bit of a chuckle out of me, I’ll give you that. And that ending … let me guess, he’s gonna come upon a similar scene to what Lucy came across when Natsu brought her in? That shit’s gonna be HILARIOUS.

Try not to take my complaints harshly. I don’t know why, but I’ve started being VERY cynical in my reviews as of late. I don’t mean to be negative, I do REALLY like what you’ve got for this first chapter. It’s a lot of fun to see Kendrick, Angela, and Demona again, and I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of magic you’ve given Ken to use in this world. I especially look forward to seeing how the mages of Fairy Tail react to a man who can’t die. This is a strong beginning and I look forward to more.
8/1/2017 c1 64Mrotrax
Good start so far. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work

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