for Lord Black's resurgence, redemption and revenge11/17 c62 
9WyrdSmith
Really good. I enjoyed every bit and hope for more. And since I usually get too stressed to read tales that have the “unknown enemy with horrific plans plotting evilly”… I just had to keep reading your fic. It’s just that good!
9WyrdSmithReally good. I enjoyed every bit and hope for more. And since I usually get too stressed to read tales that have the “unknown enemy with horrific plans plotting evilly”… I just had to keep reading your fic. It’s just that good!
9/26 c61 trekmel
I had read this some time back and saw a new posting so just binge read it again. I appreciate your very unique AU story here. Its so different and filled with fresh ideas. Chapter 62 won't show up for me but I hope to be able to read more soon.
I had read this some time back and saw a new posting so just binge read it again. I appreciate your very unique AU story here. Its so different and filled with fresh ideas. Chapter 62 won't show up for me but I hope to be able to read more soon.
9/22 c4 Guest
Well I think it's Canon that food can be multiplied but not created
Well I think it's Canon that food can be multiplied but not created
9/21 c62 EP
SYMPA
SYMPA
9/20 c1 Naruto Fan
Sadly your story is all over the place both with the plot and personalities of the characters in it. It could be an interesting read if it wasn't soo convoluted with what you seem to be trying and sadly failing at.
Honestly better to just delete the story and start over and have a beta read help you out.
Sadly your story is all over the place both with the plot and personalities of the characters in it. It could be an interesting read if it wasn't soo convoluted with what you seem to be trying and sadly failing at.
Honestly better to just delete the story and start over and have a beta read help you out.
9/21 c62 10tscchope
Now would be a good time to go with the Harry Potter standard go to spell, Expelliarmus, on both Sprout and Weasley. It's a House matter, not a school house matter that Sprout's intruding into. Harry is Lord of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Gaunt, by right of conquest. Ron's more right than he knows.
Now for my pet peeves:
Wand have cores, wizards don't.
Harry Potter is not a Horcrux
Harry Potter is Lord Potter from the moment James Potter dies.
Ginny was far to gone to come back - that damned crapiloque.
Ginny had 7 brothers: who was the lucky one who got away.
The Weasleys are Blood Traitors without Joke Rowling really saying what that means. I think she really hated the Weasleys. Ginny (should be) dying in Harry's year 2, Ron in year 3, (I think)the Weasley twins in year 4 having pranked the wrong people, Arthur in year 5 from a really nasty cursed muggle artefact or Nagini, year 6 Percival from a faulty cauldron exploding that took him with it, year 7 look at the jobs Bill and Charlie had really dangerous jobs; cursebreaker and dragon keeper, respectively. Then you have Molly the squib Weasley one shots Bellatrix. I think I remember a fan fic that did go down that path and Molly became a Dark Lady. Death Eaters did attack Bill and Fleur's wedding. Killing off Fred seemed a very poor death return for this family.
Peeve over.
Whilst it may seem that I'm being critical, I like the way you are weaving your story. You've a rich tapestry of well rounded OCs. You've finished off Voldemort. Now, you're on the deliciously malevolent Madam Jocelyn. She's the appetiser to the main course of Dumbledore. I'll follow along.
PS I really like the Seraphine character. I'd like to see Sirius have a child with her, maybe more than one. Harry's not going to care he'll no longer be Heir Black. A twist could be that the House won't accept Sirius' son as the new heir. Not that you're under any obligation to do anything, just to please a follower.
10tscchopeNow would be a good time to go with the Harry Potter standard go to spell, Expelliarmus, on both Sprout and Weasley. It's a House matter, not a school house matter that Sprout's intruding into. Harry is Lord of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Gaunt, by right of conquest. Ron's more right than he knows.
Now for my pet peeves:
Wand have cores, wizards don't.
Harry Potter is not a Horcrux
Harry Potter is Lord Potter from the moment James Potter dies.
Ginny was far to gone to come back - that damned crapiloque.
Ginny had 7 brothers: who was the lucky one who got away.
The Weasleys are Blood Traitors without Joke Rowling really saying what that means. I think she really hated the Weasleys. Ginny (should be) dying in Harry's year 2, Ron in year 3, (I think)the Weasley twins in year 4 having pranked the wrong people, Arthur in year 5 from a really nasty cursed muggle artefact or Nagini, year 6 Percival from a faulty cauldron exploding that took him with it, year 7 look at the jobs Bill and Charlie had really dangerous jobs; cursebreaker and dragon keeper, respectively. Then you have Molly the squib Weasley one shots Bellatrix. I think I remember a fan fic that did go down that path and Molly became a Dark Lady. Death Eaters did attack Bill and Fleur's wedding. Killing off Fred seemed a very poor death return for this family.
Peeve over.
Whilst it may seem that I'm being critical, I like the way you are weaving your story. You've a rich tapestry of well rounded OCs. You've finished off Voldemort. Now, you're on the deliciously malevolent Madam Jocelyn. She's the appetiser to the main course of Dumbledore. I'll follow along.
PS I really like the Seraphine character. I'd like to see Sirius have a child with her, maybe more than one. Harry's not going to care he'll no longer be Heir Black. A twist could be that the House won't accept Sirius' son as the new heir. Not that you're under any obligation to do anything, just to please a follower.
7/21 c61 kimjo2
I am really enjoying this story very much. I adore Serena and Sirius. Dumbledork is rightfully dark as I think he was and I love the HOB! I look forward to the next update. Thanks so much.
I am really enjoying this story very much. I adore Serena and Sirius. Dumbledork is rightfully dark as I think he was and I love the HOB! I look forward to the next update. Thanks so much.
7/16 c61 Guest
Nice
Nice
7/17 c4 adammflatt
I’m very confused on the timing of whats happening and when. The prequel seems to be set in the summer between 2nd and 3rd year, but so far this has had harry talk about hagrid bringing him to the bank last year(indicating its before 2nd year), in the bank they act like year 3 has finished, but here they are wishing they had one. And hermione just reffered to the troll as happening last year. Interesting start, but has some serios continuity issues that need to be cleaned up
I’m very confused on the timing of whats happening and when. The prequel seems to be set in the summer between 2nd and 3rd year, but so far this has had harry talk about hagrid bringing him to the bank last year(indicating its before 2nd year), in the bank they act like year 3 has finished, but here they are wishing they had one. And hermione just reffered to the troll as happening last year. Interesting start, but has some serios continuity issues that need to be cleaned up
7/17 c4 adammflatt
I’m very confused on the timing of whats happening and when. The prequel seems to be set in the summer between 2nd and 3rd year, but so far this has had harry talk about hagrid bringing him to the bank last year(indicating its before 2nd year), in the bank they act like year 3 has finished, but here they are wishing for a firebolt making it seem like this is before third year.
I’m very confused on the timing of whats happening and when. The prequel seems to be set in the summer between 2nd and 3rd year, but so far this has had harry talk about hagrid bringing him to the bank last year(indicating its before 2nd year), in the bank they act like year 3 has finished, but here they are wishing for a firebolt making it seem like this is before third year.
7/16 c14 Cimon117
Wow Voldemort can't even called himself a darklord, he was more like a murder, a true darklord don't need to get his hand dirty, just like Palpatine (Star War) Dumbledore surely master the darklord act.
Wow Voldemort can't even called himself a darklord, he was more like a murder, a true darklord don't need to get his hand dirty, just like Palpatine (Star War) Dumbledore surely master the darklord act.