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for Daughter of Death

12/8/2020 c7 Guest
The progression of this fic is so flawless. At the beginning, you made the beatings and violence so 'normal' that I (and Zhu) were desensitized to it. But now you can tell how even Zhu is seeing how it's not normal. Really great work! Can't wait to finish reading
3/27/2020 c18 Caver Floyd
Good story, well done not making the oc annoying.
8/31/2019 c18 148Marcus S. Lazarus
Not too shabby, to say the least.
Your decision to focus on developing the background of the Huns was a bold move on its own, but creating a character with such close ties to Shan Yu while also giving her a semi-plausible reason to be on Mulan’s side would be a formidable challenge for anyone, to say nothing of coming up with a valid reason why they would send a woman on such an assignment.
Subsequent developments as Zhu bonds with the others in camp are handled well, particularly when she and Mulan/Ping plausibly end up talking even before they learn just how much they have in common, to say nothing of Zhu’s history making a fascinating contrast to the more ‘optimistic’ views and backgrounds of everyone else.
Even after the various hints you dropped about Shan Zhu’s experience with demons prior to her learning Ping’s true identity and meeting Mushu directly, there’s still a degree of shock at the revelation that Shan Yu has made a demonic pact that he actively regrets even if he can’t change it. I still sometimes question how Zhu almost seemed to keep avoiding an opportunity to complete the purpose she was sent there for, but I can’t fault the implications of her avoiding action that would potentially incriminate her friends even before she’s willing to fully acknowledge their importance to her. I particularly appreciated the additional twist you added regarding the revelation of Mulan and Zhu’s ‘family history’ with each other, even if Zhu’s the only one who was aware of it at first.
The march to the battle was also well-written, and I particularly admired how you incorporated the lyrics of ‘Girl Worth Fighting For’ into the group’s dialogue without needing to enforce the tune. However, I feel that you let the story down slightly by not including a clear specific train of thought where Zhu realised that she preferred her new friends over her old mission. Zhu’s decision to execute the scouts was neatly set up in a manner that could lend equal weight to her wanting to ruthlessly maintain her cover and wanting to protect her friends, but while I can assume that discovering that burned village was the tipping point, I still feel that there should have been a moment when she realised that didn’t believe the old propaganda any more.
Don’t get me wrong, the final confrontation you gave us was a suitably dramatic one, changing enough details to give Zhu something to do that proved herself to her friends even if she accept that she would never be publically and officially pardoned for her family’s sins, but I just feel that you missed out on what could have been a fascinating opportunity to have Zhu explicitly affirm to herself ‘I won’t do this’ as she clearly decides to reject everything she’s been taught by her family.
6/20/2019 c18 Artisan03
Congratulations. I just got sucker punched by that ending.
12/10/2018 c18 1Mysticalmagicks
Okay, I have to be honest. I clicked on this story with a type of wariness I do with all the stories on this website. Because while their summaries may be good, I'm usually disappointed by the author's writing style and grammar. But this...this made me feel so many different emotions while reading your OC. It was beautiful, sad, realistic, and humorous all at the same time. And the small glimpse of the real Shan Yu at the end was just tragic. But well written. I'm excited to continue on to read the sequel.
7/16/2018 c2 4Malchus-Fireheart
So far this story is fantastic. Really well written. Love it.
7/14/2018 c9 hannuhbananuh
Holy shiznit. Oh my Lord. You're making me slightly care about Shan Yu, and it's not fair.
7/9/2018 c13 Guest
Bet whatever Crick-ee 'wrote' was what the General would really have written
6/8/2018 c18 potstickers4lyfe
Damn! This story is awesome! How did I not encounter this gem before? XD
4/21/2018 c18 MULAN AND SHANG
NOOOOOOO! ZHU! WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DIE? :((
3/13/2018 c18 nouch
I really like your story :)
I'm curious to read 'Daughter of rebirth' !
Thanks a lot for your wwork and for sharing it :)
Good luck!
2/20/2018 c18 Raven J. Haile
Very excited for the sequel. :3
2/19/2018 c18 2QueenOfTheStorms
*Whistles low*

This story was … wow! I’ve never come across a story that incorporates an OC into the original movie plot-line as well as what this story does. This story had me hooked the entire way welded in Action, Humor, Friendship, Angst and Comfort into the story wonderfully. I loved Zhu’s character and how you related her to the villain of the piece. The characterization was spot-on; everyone was completely in character and totally believable.

All the twists in the story were so well done. The younger scout being Ling’s brother, Shan Yu and Hayabusa, Mulan’s father having been the one that killed Zhu’s father. Everything fitted in beautifully, and that ending was not what I expected but definitely left me hungry for more.

All I can say now is: keep up the awesome work. I look forward to see where it all goes. Bring on March!
-QotS-
2/18/2018 c1 Guest
Woah did not see that coming. I wonder what will happen next?
2/18/2018 c18 Guest
Woah did not see that coming. And I wonder what will happen next
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