Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for A Miraculous Talent

5/16/2019 c1 702mary.okeeffe.16
I love it when Nino shows his DJ skills
1/17/2019 c3 19Angel Talon
Chat! Quick! Protect your princess from Hawkmoth... neither mind, Rena Rouge got this.
12/5/2017 c3 Guest
Well Alya honey ya screwed up, oh and so did you Marinette... Tikki is NOT going to like this 0
12/4/2017 c3 Guest
awww they are soo cute!
12/4/2017 c3 14SukiLili
What an idiot.
10/22/2017 c2 Guest
awesome!
8/21/2017 c2 Panda 2337
Need more!
8/21/2017 c1 3nowadeadaccount
I so wanted Cat to be listening nearby and he starts singing his part of the song. Haha.
8/21/2017 c2 14SukiLili
Hi !

So, Marinette will sing ? I like that ! Can't wait to read it. :)

Will she wrote her own song ? That could be fun.
Adrien will totally love this !

I didn't say it last time but, for your first fanfiction, it's really good.

Don't worry, update when you want/can.

Bye !
8/14/2017 c1 Guest
Marionette should join in with adrien
8/14/2017 c1 Guest
Your first fanfiction? I'm impressed. Let me just say most of the newcomers to FFN usually have terrible spelling or terrible grammar or terrible punctuation. No offense to them, of course. After all, I was like that once too. :P You're doing a great job so far.

So, advice? Description. You have a tendency to use dialogue to tell a story. Dialogue is very telling and can definitely help move a story along but you want to be able to use unspoken words to paint a scene. It can get boring real fast if it's just line after line of characters speaking.

If you aren't used to using description, let me tell you to make sure you do not make giant blocks of text. 3-5 sentences per paragraph is enough, give or take. It's easy to get lost when you have this huge wall of text and it can get boring to constantly have skip a line after only writing one sentence.

It's okay to do those once in a while but don't go overboard. :)

In the beginning, you wrote: Everyone looked up as Mr. Damocles came over the speaker. "Collége Françoise Dupont is pleased to announce that we will be hosting a talent show this Friday, on May 14th. All those wishing to compete please talk to Mrs. Bustier sometime this week before the performance." Immediately talking broke out.

You could turn it into this: The entirety of the class turned their attention to the speakers as Mr. Damocles' voice spoke. "Collége François Dupont is pleased to announce that we will be hosting a talent show this Friday, on May 14th," he said, surprising many of the young scholars. "All those wishing to participate must talk to Mrs. Bustier sometime this week before the event."

Immediately, classmates turned to each other. The classroom was quickly filled with excited chatter. A talent show was unheard of and it was definitely a thing not worth missing.

...

Of course, if that didn't help, my number one advice is to read and read some more. I suggest actual books that have been published because many authors on this site are nowhere near professional. Reading is very helpful because you can pick up a lot of ideas and you can learn how to improve your writing.

Trust me, it helps.

Also, of course, every writer has his or her (or their) own unique style. Don't write the way someone tells you to if it's uncomfortable. Just keep writing and keep reading.

And also rereading your work for any mistakes. Everyone makes those. ;)

So, good luck! I hope I didn't sound mean or anything, haha. I try not to put others down because that's just not my style. :P

As for chapter titles, forego those. You don't need them. If you're going to do them, however, I suggest finding one or two (maybe even three) words in the chapter you've written that can summarize what it's about. Try to go for titles that don't reveal too much of what's going on though. :3
8/15/2017 c1 10conned-fection
Very good for your first fanfic!
8/14/2017 c1 9Daphne Powell
I like the talent show idea! And overall, for as first fic I think it's pretty good! the only problem I really see with it is you need to add more description. It's a problem I'm still working on as well, given the fact that I just started writing fan fics not long ago. But over time both of us will get better at it. I'm curious to see how this goes. Will the prize make Marinette reconsider her answer on not be in in the talent show? Maybe A date with Adrien will pursued her to be in it. Or will she be on the show as Ladybug? Will an akuma come and wreck the show? Who knows! lol Welp, have a good day! Can't wait to read more of this!
8/14/2017 c1 14SukiLili
Hello !

I like the idea of a talent show. I can't wait to see what's going to happen.

If I can give some advice... Take your time. Describe. Describe the room, what the characters ar doing, what they are thinking/feeling etc.

It doesn't have to be a long description (personally, I hate that... Long and useless descriptions I mean.) but just a little.

I hope this will help you. :) I'll follow your story.

Have a good day/night or whatever...

Navirina.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service