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10/21/2017 c1 8zuppercat
Ahw! This is so cute! I love it :3
8/23/2017 c1 75TolkienScholar
This was cute, but I can't help wishing there was more substance to it. You've got a really great idea here that has a lot of potential to be super cute, but I feel like what you've given us is pretty bare bones. I'd like to see more of a focus on why Enoch can't resist her even though he's not really a kid person and she doesn't even know how to play the game right, and maybe even why Claire wants him, of all people, to play with her in the first place. (Yes, I know they have some sweet interactions in the movie and Enoch obviously does care about her, but I'd like to see it explored in the fic.) Also, watch your dialogue formatting. The proper form is "[Line of dialogue]," [pronoun] said. Note how the dialogue ends in a period and the pronoun is not capitalized. So, for example:

"I guess I just have a magic power," he said, shrugging.

I definitely think your writing has potential, and I'd love to see it develop into something more!

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