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16h c3 YustarRes
Chazz was dealt such a shorthand in the anime. Literally everyone loses to Jaden, except for Zane. In fact, aren't Zane and Kaibaman the only two Duelists who have never faced defeat against Jaden Yuki? Alexis, Bastion, and the like all get "And That's Game"-ed one after the other.

Chazz is just unlucky in that his defeat was very public, whereas Mindy, Jasmine, and Dr. Crowler were the only witnesses to Alexis' defeat. Although, Chazz is also really unlikeable. So besides being 'elite', who has a reason to stay next to him? Like, I can't see Chazz comforting one of his friends or being a genuinely nice person to be around.

...okay, rant over. XD

I really like Jamies' line where he's like "they're all waiting for me to lose to Jaden and sit on the sidelines". Although, since Jaden does have Syrus, even if Jaden and Syrus won, it wouldn't feel the same to me. It has to be 1-on-1 for a victory to truly count. Because when Jamie wins, it's "Syrus was weighing Jaden down", and when Jaden wins, it's "he had extra resources in Syrus".

Zane is so arrogant here, ha. Like Jaden challenges him to test himself (and to pep talk Syrus), and Zane finds being challenged by a Slifer amusing. A Ra Yellow like Jamie challenges him, and it's foolishness/arrogance. I'm glad to see Zane not take home the Dub.

Good chap!
2/28 c2 YustarRes
You packed so much into this chapter that there is a lot to talk about!

First, I would like to observe aloud the differences between Canon and this world. In Canon, Ra Yellow students have their own room, unlike Slifer Red students who are packed into tiny rooms in units of three. I like this change because it gives Jamie and Bastion more time to interact. If Bastion had his own room, perhaps Jamie (and the story itself) wouldn't be seeing as much of him. XD

Another key difference is that Jaden and Syrus are actually aware of their opponents. Dr. Crowler kept the Paradox Brothers as a surprise, which added a lot of pressure to the Duel. Knowing beforehand gives Jaden and Syrus a significant advantage over their canon counterparts, since they can study the brothers' past matches.

There was inconsistency I caught, which may have been intentional. Jamie pretends to not recognize Alexis, but then he immediately points out her friends to her: Jasmine and Mindy. Wouldn't Alexis find it odd that Jamie didn't know her but knew who she was friends with? Maybe I missed a line of text where Alexis described her friends' appearance or showed him a picture of them?

Jamie's Deck is enjoyable. I like "Good Stuff" because it gives a wide variety of different monsters and playstyles. It gives the Duel an enjoyable back-and-forth and tempo. On the topic of Decks, it's cool that you've given information about all six of Bastion's attribute Decks!

And your A/N is on the nose; time is moving very quickly. All of the episodes you described are like 1 to 2 months into the school year, if I remember correctly. I'm actually surprised that Jamie didn't seek out Zane or other methods of recognition before this! And oh, Jaden vs. Chazz's exam duel happens before this. Who did Jamie Duel for his exam? Was his showing not enough for a promotion to Obelisk Blue?

Overall good chapter! Enjoyable read!
2/27 c1 YustarRes

It has been ages, at least one year, since I have read through your story. I don't believe I've ever even finished it? I mean, I know I was up to date at one point, but then I took a long break from reading, and your story ballooned to 71 chapters. 71! That is an amazing feat, friend.

Because it's been so long, I've forgotten most of it! This means I can treat this story as a mostly blind read. Hurray!

Most of the critiques I could possibly give on this chapter you've heard before. Banlist blah blah BLS blah. So I won't waste my time writing a critique of that or yours having to read it for the hundredth time. The only one that might not have been mentioned before (or to death, at least) is Jamie's lack of guilt in essentially stealing someone's child away. There is a little monologuing on how he feels lonely and doesn't see them as his parents, but I didn't see much guilt of what he's taken from them. Just could use a dash of empathy!

My favorite part the Entrance Exams are Syrus' and Zane's characterizations. Jamie is swiftly set up as a person who won't be feeding into Syrus' pity party. And honestly? Good on him. Syrus is such a whiny character in the Dub. And in the sub, he's a little shithead. I genuinely don't like him. I vaguely recall you developing Syrus into a more likeable (or at least tolerable) character down the line; so I look forward to that!

As for Zane, I can see that he almost wrote Jamie off. But Jamies' Scapegoat Metamorphosis combo into Thousand Eyes Restrict seemed to impress him. It's an overall tame but memorable impression that can grown into something more over time.

Overall, good start. d()b
2/19 c69 23Spartan of Chaos
Wasn't sure about Adrian's chances here, but the new Exodia support that came out recently would have improved them a bit.
2/17 c3 Diesel Dude
Misplays humanize the duelists, even pro players make mistakes. Anyone saying otherwise definitely activated a spell card in an imperm column a few times.
2/13 c60 GBLplays
The problem is that he's neither dramatically interesting nor dramatically pleasant, at that point, he's just really boring...
2/13 c59 GBLplays
Wow... How surprised I am... Of course I didn't notice this fact in the first chapters...
(But seriously, I think you took too long to reveal this, it got to a point where I'm almost certain that at least 90% of readers realized that the Blade Knight was the real Jamie...)
2/13 c55 GBLplays
I don't know... I literally don't see any good quality in Jasmine... The only thing I think about is the deck, her deck is good, she herself until now has just been rubbish, and there isn't even a recyclable one to help...
The only things I've seen about Jasmine so far are how pathetically envious and irrationally ungrateful she is, as well as being petty and a nuisance... (Aside from the fact that this TRASH is playing on my Baby Bastion... How hateful!)
2/13 c54 GBLplays
I understand why Jamie didn't win here, but at the same time I can't help but feel frustrated with the lack of prominence this entire arc gave him, it seems like every scene he appears in, the spotlight is stolen by someone else... Examples would be the duel against Mackenzie, which was... lackluster and interrupted, then Jamie's tag duel with Mackenzie against Sirena, where Mackenzie stole the spotlight with all her drama, then again the duel of Jaime against Jasmine, which he won, but the highlight was completely on Jasmine during the duel and on Erin after the duel, with all the dramatic speech, and now this duel against Kaiba, which despite being cool, the Jamie didn't have the spotlight that I had hoped he would finally have...
What I felt when reading so far was that Jamie went from protagonist to secondary observer in the story, and as a self-insert he is expected to be the focus...
As a reader, I feel that you (the author), in an attempt to give development and screen time to all the canonical characters, ended up making your MC... poor in development, it seems that all the character development he had up until this point is completely focused on... "romance"...?(Can you call it "romance"?), which in my opinion... really isn't very good, it was all spread out, with the MC basically being led by the p*nis for every decision involving a female character...
Look, I don't want to shit on your fanfic, after all I don't write it myself and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to write such a long SI fanfic in a world as wide as Yu-Gi-Oh!
So know that I love your fanfic, even with everything above said, I just wish the MC wasn't so... Uninteresting...
But other than that, I love the duels, the development of the characters that don't have much focus on the show (Especially my Baby Bastion! :3), the more developed villains, the more developed magic (I'm using that word TOO MUCH, haha).. .
So, despite the hiatus, I hope that at some point you try a rewrite or create a new story with Yu-Gi-Oh! GX as a focus, after all its story is not in first place in the Yu-Gi-Oh! GX for nothing, haha!
Well that's!
2/12 c40 GBLplays
I've enjoyed rereading this, but even rereading it I still can't help but find Jamie's character a bit annoying and inconsistent, he says he's an adult, but he acts like a brat, not to mention the constant stupidity on his part, which started with the loss from the Predaplant deck, letting Hank run away, to these constant dramatic mood swings, I understand that he's traumatized and everything, but I hope he gets sorted out soon, because it really makes it difficult to read about him, especially with the constant changes from Pov to develop the other characters, causing Jamie to have a development... Poor...
(An example is his *public* deck, which is not updated in an interesting way and it is increasingly becoming clear that it is not on the same level as those of other characters...)
(Apart from the Melodious deck, which barely had any screen time...)
But, apart from my frustration with the lack of evolution of the MC, I have really enjoyed rereading this fanfic, I remember that I stopped at the beach chapter, as there were no more chapters released, but I was happy to know that there are already more than twice as many than I read the first time!
1/20 c71 Vyladriel
All I can say is that all this drama is frustrating.
1/6 c20 dastewie2012
Jesus chazz over their faces bruh
1/6 c10 dastewie2012
The first episode reference is not missed
10/31/2023 c61 Guest
Oh shit, if he's playing Noble Knights, then he's probably rocking Baronne de Fleur as well, since Sherry Leblanc had that card. And assuming you introduce Links at some point, he'll have Isolde and Charles as well.

Shiii, his deck is actually looking kinda nasty. Jamie (l o l) is in for a tough time when that confrontation happens.
10/21/2023 c61 Guest

God, I fucking love Aleister and the rest of the archetype. Can't wait for the new support to come out too (assuming they turn Aleister's demon form from Invocation's alt art into a new boss monster)
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