Just In
for Sneezing Toadette

8/3 c1 poop
this is a good covid 19 story
8/1 c1 harmony howlette
sneeze stands for silence not elegeable eating zucinni eggs
2/12 c1 49yankeegal13
Can you do a fanfic where yoshi sneezes please.
9/9/2017 c1 12Kedsurang
Cute! But Toadette (Madame Toadette J.) Could Take Medicine Further.
8/29/2017 c1 31Madz the Penguin
We meet again. It's been a while since I have reviewed one of your fanfics. I forgot the last time I have even reviewed one! But since you seem very into sneezing, I decided to review with a few suggestions.

First of all, for being so short, it's really well-written. The details are really good, but not too flowery. It focuses on the sneezes just enough for us to visualize it without having to skip any details. Plus, it wants the reader to find out just where those sneezes came from. Good job!

However, this fanfiction suffers an unusual problem: it feels like a scene in a bigger fanfiction. There's not really a conflict outside of Toadette wondering where the sneezes came from. I felt like this would be great as a story where Toadette gets a mysterious sickness, and this scene is her discovering that something's wrong with her. However, for a little while, she refuses to see a doctor until her symptoms get much worse. You can do whatever you want with that plot, but just this scene alone isn't enough. In this case, more is good.

Overall, I really want to see this fanfiction evolve into a full-fledged story. I can volunteer to help, if you want me to (PM exists for a reason). It's good, but I see so much potential for it to be even better!

Madz the Penguin
8/26/2017 c1 18Anonymous Girl Gamer
Cute story!

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service