for What's In His Heart8/21/2021 c1 
7Eric Michael Kline
Came here from the Reddit comment exchange. Good story. The one thing I would criticize is that Spinach seems a bit flat at times. Like his only purpose was to be the strawman romantic rival who you already know isn't going to get the girl. Maybe in the future you could give more insight to characters like him so he doesn't come across as generic.
7Eric Michael KlineCame here from the Reddit comment exchange. Good story. The one thing I would criticize is that Spinach seems a bit flat at times. Like his only purpose was to be the strawman romantic rival who you already know isn't going to get the girl. Maybe in the future you could give more insight to characters like him so he doesn't come across as generic.
8/21/2021 c1 100shalomdebbie
Hi from Reddit. Always love Krillen & 18 love, esp when he's insecure and she reassures him. They're one of my fave couples of all time (after Bulma/Vegeta of course) because love conquers all-android and human, short and tall, the monk and the cool girl-it's just a wonderful match. Another Supersaiyan shows up, eh? This could be a fun story. Toriyama himself threw around new supersaiyans like candy at Mardi Gras and was never at a loss for new stories, so go for it! 3
100shalomdebbieHi from Reddit. Always love Krillen & 18 love, esp when he's insecure and she reassures him. They're one of my fave couples of all time (after Bulma/Vegeta of course) because love conquers all-android and human, short and tall, the monk and the cool girl-it's just a wonderful match. Another Supersaiyan shows up, eh? This could be a fun story. Toriyama himself threw around new supersaiyans like candy at Mardi Gras and was never at a loss for new stories, so go for it! 3
8/21/2021 c1 Alhaira
This was a nice story, with a good use of time travel to explore Krillin's character. While I come fandom blind, I appreciated the way he is treated; his insecurities felt believable and grounded in his character, and the fact that he refused to be anything but kind and helpful even with those thoughts was definitely to his credit. I also liked Eighteen's reassurances and her threat of inventing a time machine of her own if she has to; it makes me believe that this is a relationship that will endure whatever comes in their future. Well done!
This was a nice story, with a good use of time travel to explore Krillin's character. While I come fandom blind, I appreciated the way he is treated; his insecurities felt believable and grounded in his character, and the fact that he refused to be anything but kind and helpful even with those thoughts was definitely to his credit. I also liked Eighteen's reassurances and her threat of inventing a time machine of her own if she has to; it makes me believe that this is a relationship that will endure whatever comes in their future. Well done!
8/21/2021 c1 1blueandie
[Before that, he had been plagued by constant thoughts of her. The girl whom he'd been thinking about ever since that day on the lookout after Cell was defeated. Ever since that kiss. The girl who, until recently, he had been sure would never return his feelings.]
Popping in from Reddit. Great opening! Really set the scene. Liked the build-up of mystery as to why this strange guy wanted to meet Eighteen and what their relationship was. Krillin's "What?!" was particularly well timed with the reveal since that piece of information had been conveniently left out.
["Hello Eighteen. You brought the little cue ball to my cabin, huh? Great." He said.] - Like the brother already. But poor Krillin, it seems this whole story is out to ruin the peace he started this page in.
Nice ending - thanks for sharing!
1blueandie[Before that, he had been plagued by constant thoughts of her. The girl whom he'd been thinking about ever since that day on the lookout after Cell was defeated. Ever since that kiss. The girl who, until recently, he had been sure would never return his feelings.]
Popping in from Reddit. Great opening! Really set the scene. Liked the build-up of mystery as to why this strange guy wanted to meet Eighteen and what their relationship was. Krillin's "What?!" was particularly well timed with the reveal since that piece of information had been conveniently left out.
["Hello Eighteen. You brought the little cue ball to my cabin, huh? Great." He said.] - Like the brother already. But poor Krillin, it seems this whole story is out to ruin the peace he started this page in.
Nice ending - thanks for sharing!
3/26/2021 c1 5AutumnKL
I very much liked this story and the way you gradually peel away at Cut's near perfect appearance.
You never bashed anyone or present a stereotypical "bad boy" character that is just asking to be torn apart. Instead, Cut is presented as a legitimately nice guy and this plus the fact he's in a relationship with Future 18 gives Krillin insecurity until Krillin began to wonder if he's good enough to be with present 18. The revelation that came afterwards is very well put and through several character's perspectives, we learned what Krillin has over your stereotypical "good guy".
Proper good job really. It would be even better if we see Cut slip up every once in a while and not just from other characters saying so but the point is well delivered. You also captured Krillin's insecurity while never overexaggerate it at the same time. The delivery feels natural and nothing seemed forced.
5AutumnKLI very much liked this story and the way you gradually peel away at Cut's near perfect appearance.
You never bashed anyone or present a stereotypical "bad boy" character that is just asking to be torn apart. Instead, Cut is presented as a legitimately nice guy and this plus the fact he's in a relationship with Future 18 gives Krillin insecurity until Krillin began to wonder if he's good enough to be with present 18. The revelation that came afterwards is very well put and through several character's perspectives, we learned what Krillin has over your stereotypical "good guy".
Proper good job really. It would be even better if we see Cut slip up every once in a while and not just from other characters saying so but the point is well delivered. You also captured Krillin's insecurity while never overexaggerate it at the same time. The delivery feels natural and nothing seemed forced.
9/5/2019 c1 Akash Hegde
Awesome story
Awesome story
8/12/2018 c1 1DRC Kakarot
This would be why Krillin is the luckiest guy in the whole series. I really wish DBZ would have explained how Krillin managed to win over Eighteen's heart. I guess it's one of those things we will never know. Eighteen is such an underrated character. Too bad she doesn't get more use.
Good job though, this went differently then expected.
1DRC KakarotThis would be why Krillin is the luckiest guy in the whole series. I really wish DBZ would have explained how Krillin managed to win over Eighteen's heart. I guess it's one of those things we will never know. Eighteen is such an underrated character. Too bad she doesn't get more use.
Good job though, this went differently then expected.